Notes From a Nurse: I Chose to Do This

I hesitate to to post this...but I'm on a "be real be honest" kick...
so here we go.

Also Disclaimer number 1.....please don't pity me....I hate pity.  This is not a shout out for attention or compliments or "you poor little dears".  It is simply a look into my life...in hope of building understanding.




A few weeks back I had a really busy/rough shift.  Nothing too medically difficult or skillfully difficult.  I had just been running and running.  I didn't sit down to eat my morning snack until 11:30...while I was charting.  And I didn't eat lunch till 4:30.  At which point my headache hit and I finished the day in 10/10 pain.

As I drove home, I stopped halfway to go to a church activity....it was organized by a good friend I wanted to support and hoped maybe some social interaction would help cheer me up

Going to the activity was likely NOT a good idea.  My headache transformed from a painful pounding to an unbearable throbbing, causing my stomach to turn and my vision scattered with little dots.
At this point, I didn't want to drive home...so I laid down across several chairs to close my eyes.

Several people acted very sympathetic...and one, meaning well said "There must be a better job you can find"


Maybe it was my "I left my house at 6 AM this morning and it is now 9 PM" brain talking.  Maybe it was the pain...maybe it was the busy stressful day.
But I bristled.  I was furious!

It reminded me of a blog post I read a few months back

DISCLAIMER NUMBER 2: please know that if you choose to read the following...there is some language I don't agree with and would never use myself.
Please DO NOT read if you will be offended by it.

http://ofcourseitsaboutyou.com/2013/08/11/the-effects-of-nursing-on-nurses/


I am not ashamed to admit to wishing my car would get hit so that I don't have to go into work.
(DISCLAIMER number 3...just a bad fender bender that prevents work for that day...not permanent bodily harm or death.......)
I have wished for fevers to give me a guilt free reason to call in.


I am a women with 2 college degrees.
And I frequently fetch water, ice and fluff pillows.

I am a professional.
And I have been groped and sexually harassed while at work.

I try to help people everyday I work.
And I have had food thrown at me, threatened with lawsuits and verbally assaulted.


I eat when I have time....use the bathroom when I have time....drink when I have time

I am a therapist, a social worker, a teacher, a housekeeper, a handyman, and most of all a punching bag.

I leave work more often than not with a migraine, aching feet and a sore back.

I work holidays.  I work weekends.  I work nights.  I drive to and from work in all weather conditions.
I work when I don't feel good.


My job isn't hard because I watch people die.
My job is hard because for 13 hours in a day, my time is not my own.
I belong to my patients, the doctors, the hospital.

Yes it can be rewarding.
Yes its incredible to hear a patient call you her favorite nurse.
Yes it is great when your favorite senior resident leads rounds and makes you feel like an important team member.
Yes there is nothing like catching that little thing that could have saved your patient's life
Yes its great to be "the best" on the floor at a certain skill.


But its not all roses.  Its hard work.

I hate my job.  But I chose this job.  And I don't plan or want to do anything else.

No...in fact there is nothing else I can do.
I haven't been duped.  I'm not just paying my dues.

This is my career.  This is who I am.


I know its hard to understand how someone can hate their job, but not want to do anything else.
But just know....its possible.  Its the life of a floor nurse


Special shout out to all my nurse buds out there.
Love you all..keep your chins up even on the hard days.
And here's to the moments that keep us going!



Be Happy Be Healthy Everyone