"The Starving Children In Africa"

How many times have we been told we should be grateful.

That there are so many people who have it worse than us.


I hate that.  Truly hate that!

Maybe its just the world according to me....but there is no such thing as a "worse" trial.


Everyone has bad things happen to them.  And it doesn't matter if they might be considered by outsiders to be small or huge.  It doesn't even matter if in a few years you, yourself might not consider it to be a big trial.

They are huge and serious to you in this moment.

And they are huge and serious to your loving Heavenly Father.  He worries just as much about the struggling divorcee as He does about parents trying to raise 5 kids under the age of 8.  He is just as concerned for the girl stranded on the side of the road waiting for AAA to arrive as He is for the alcoholic.

Last night I took the time to read a blog I have been meaning to read since a family friend introduced it to me back in March.

What would you do if your husband and the father of your 5 children, the youngest 6 weeks old, was brutally murdered by the husband of his mistress?

Of anyone, this women might be justified in saying her trails were worse than anyone else's.
But what does she say?

Whatever the situation and wherever you have been . . . you have been hurt. You have felt alone. You have been abandoned, either by your parents, your lover, your friends, complete strangers, or even yourself. We have all been at that crossroad where all we have left is ourselves.

Sometimes these moments of lows have brought you to your knees and caused you to reflect and ponder your relationship with God . . . and other times they have made you question if He is even there, or if He knows you are alone. Whatever that moment has been for you, it is personal and real. It has defined and refined who you are, who you think you were, and who you want to become.

(If I wasn't impressed with this women already....guess what...I was FLOORED by this statement)

It is personal and real.

I'm not against squaring your shoulders and counting your blessings.

I'm not saying that gratitude is not an important part of getting through trials.

Both are crucial in survival and are essential for happiness

But I have seen too many people belittle their own feelings.

And worse I have seen too many people lessen and disregard the pain and the hurt of others.

Never think you are better than someone because you think you have hurt more than them.

Never think someone doesn't have a right to feel pain because their trial is small.

And never feel guilty for being hurt.  For struggling with a trial or temptation.

It matters.  You matter.

And so does everyone else.

We all have trails.  We all struggle.

So lets be kind to each other.  And to ourselves.

Also if you want to bawl your eyes out, or hear incredible stories of forgiveness and strength in trials.....

http://www.themomentswestand.com/

Invisible......

This post is dedicated to all those on the island of misfit toys...


I hesitate to share a post that is so incredibly personal, but I do in hopes that it gives peace and comfort to some, and motivation to others.....
So this will be a two part series......stay tuned for tomorrow.


When this song first came out, I thought it was cheesy and silly.

But then my life got to a place where it suddenly took on a great deal of meaning.

I don't want this to be a whiny sad, woe-is-me post.

This post is not about me.  Or at least not just about me
Its about anyone who has ever felt left out.
Anyone who has ever felt worthless and not good enough.
Anyone who has ever felt invisible.

I truly believe there is strength in numbers.
There is comfort that comes with shared experience.
You are not the only one.



I've been called abusive, a whore, a self-righteous skank, privileged and spoiled, manipulative, mean.
All by people who supposedly cared.

wishing all it was, was sticks and stones those words cut deep

I've been the only one not invited to parties, game nights, activities or events.
I've had friends walk away from our friendships.
I have been the girl holding up the wall, or sitting in the corner by herself.
I've been cheated on.  I've been used.  I've been treated like I was just a piece of meat.

I've had to fight tooth and nail, use every trick I know to get people (both guys and girls) to notice me, or be my friend.

you've been trying for so long to find out where your place is

You've felt this as well haven't you?  Well....

Trust the one....Who's been where you are

It don't mean you're all alone

And you're not invisible

There's so much more to life than what you're feeling now

Someday you'll look back on all these days

And all this pain is gonna be invisible

I haven't always felt invisible.
Its like a cancer that goes into remission for a while, but pops back up, rearing its ugly head.
Life will seem to be going alright...and then you don't get the invitation all your friends do, or an unkind word is said, or you suddenly feel all alone in a crowded room.

And you begin to wonder... "Is there something wrong with me?"  "Is there a reason they all seem to not like me?"

Its a constant battle.

A battle that, though I want to give up everyday...I refuse to surrender.

you're strong enough to win

If you don't feel it now...I understand.  Its hard to feel the hope when you are in the middle of the muck. 

So if you don't-that is ok.

I don't feel it sometimes either.

Just keep listening to the song.  Listen until you believe it.

You are NOT invisible.  

When the tears don't stop and the loneliness seems to be trying to drown you.

Keep fighting.  Keep being you.

And someday....you won't feel invisible.

If you look past this moment

You'll see you've got a friend

Waving a flag for who you are

And all you're gonna do

Yeah, so here's to you

And here's to anyone who's ever felt invisible

Things You Should Know About Tuesdays: Meg

For those of you who don't know I often take Tuesdays to get on a soap box about something I'm passionate about.

This week is no exception



Recently I was introduced to Meg Herndon.
A beautiful and vivacious red head.
A talented soccer player, a go-getter who managed to juggle playing for a Division II team while going to nursing school and working as an aid at a local hospital.

(When I was in nursing school necessities like bathing eating and sleeping became luxuries and she found time to do all that!!!????)

I admired her from the start, and would love to introduce her to you as well.

Sorry-should have warned you to grab a few tissues.

On September 9th, after coming home late from an away game with her team, she rode her scooter to work. And as she was coming around a corner, she was hit head on by a Ford 250.

On September 20th, she passed away, leaving a legacy of love by donating many of her tissues and organs.


And I could get on my organ donation soapbox.
But Cindi, Meg's mother (who introduced me to her) would prefer I mention this.......

Meg was not wearing her helmet.

Its hard to say with the type of collision and the type of injuries she sustained if that would have made any difference.

But does that really matter?

If wearing a helmet would save your life, isn't it worth the helmet hair?

I could list off a million statistics of how helmets save lives.  Of how many lives are lost by those not wearing helmets.

But those don't matter.  Those are just numbers.
In 2012, a life was lost.
That is what matters.

Don't allow yourself to become a statistic.  Don't be one in so many hundred, or the such and such percent of something.

Wear your helmet.  Be smart and be safe.

Things You Should Know About Tuesday: The I'm Here Movement

A few weeks ago, I was able to attend a nursing conference.

One of the keynote speakers was Marcus Engel. He is an incredible and talented speaker and writer creating an interesting movement in healthcare.

He told us the story of an accident he was in, that could have cost him his life.

As he floated in and out of consciousness, he was comforted by an unknown stranger, who just sat next to him, holding his hand.
And every time he came to consciousness, she said "I'm here"

It was an astounding and inspiring story.

Ten years ago I decided to be a nurse, and continued to work towards that goal for this very story.

For the opportunity to touch a patient, a family.....

In my profession, the people we care for are in their darkest moments.
There might not be another time in their life when they are in as much pain, when they are more scared.

I went through nursing school (not the most pleasant of experiences) because I wanted to paint toe nails and hold hands.  I wanted to see miracles and see the impossible happen.
I wanted to wipe away tears and strengthen those who were weak.
I wanted to heal.



But now I'm a nurse. And its easy to forget those reasons when you get ice and coordinate tests and explain things to families and advocate for your patients with the doctors.
The bureaucracy can be not only distracting but disheartening and discouraging.
We as healthcare workers are in the business of care, but we can't care for anyone if our administrators aren't in the business of business.  We are sometimes short-staffed, we are sometimes overloaded with tasks and have to navigate procedural barriers.

And beyond that you have everyday dramas, trials, and struggles in your personal and professional life.  Not every patient experience is life-changing.  Not every patient is even grateful for the care you give them (we cut them a little slack since they are scared and sick...)  Life as a nurse can be stressful and unrewarding at times.

It can be so easy to forget where you are.

Its easy to forget to be present.

Thank goodness we get reminded sometimes, to just be there.  To be present.

To say "I'm here"

Because there are those magical moments.  Those moments when you realize why you do what you do.
Moments when being there is all you needed to be.  Moments when you realize if someone hadn't been there....terrible consequences would have ensued...and thank goodness you were blessed to be in the right place at the right time.


Mr Engel has begun a non-profit organization to encourage us as healthcare workers-and I believe everyone, to be more present.

To say to people.. "I'm here"



For more information or to get involved....

http://imheremovement.org/

Things You Should Know About Tuesday: Trail of Hope

Another wonderful part of my trip was walking down the Trail of Hope.

There is a street in Nauvoo that leads right down to the river.

Along the road, there are markers, with the words of those driven from their homes, in the dead of winter by angry mobs.




They did not even have time to finish baking their bread.
Many people would say that atrocities such as these don't happen any more.
And if they do, they only happen in third world countries, ravaged by war and crisis.

But this hatred exists it exists all around us.

Some might say this type of hatred isn't tolerated anymore.
I could not disagree more.

Just because we might not see hatred, doesn't mean it is not here.


So how do we fight it?

I know it sounds cheesy and cliche...but with love.


With understanding and tolerance we can eliminate the hatred that leads to pain and hurt and devastation.

We can disagree and not hurt one another.
We can be different and not ostracize one another.

It is possible  If we just try.

Things You Should Know About: SALAD TIPS!!!!

So I make a MEAN salad.


In fact...my salads have won awards....
see???

And honestly its not that hard.  So I am going to share a few tips/tricks I use to create award winning salads!



First

You want to pick a fruit or sweet ingredient.  This is how you will base all your other choices on so pick wisely!
Mandarin oranges......apples......grapes......berries......tomatoes


Second

Now you need a green.  Nope you don't start with this one, though it is HIGHLY important.  Pick one based on your fruit.  Don't get caught in the same everytime....
green leafy.....red leafy......romaine.......red romaine.....spinach
even iceberg or a mix!!!!


Third

You need a crunch
If you are going gluten free avoid the croutons...although those are a great option.  As are chow mein noodles.
Nuts and seeds usually are the best.  Pecans and walnuts work well.  Cashews and sunflower seeds are great too.  Sometimes candy-ing them adds the perfect touch.


Fourth

You need some color and flavor.
This is where you get to have fun.  Pick ingredients that match flavors with your fruit.  And colors that you don't have.
Red onions, green onions, crasins, carrots, tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers, olives.
You could add some protein in at this point if you are not doing vegetarian....ham, chicken, turkey, bacon, hard boiled eggs.


Fifth

Now dressing...Something light is usually best.  I love making simple vinaigrettes that bring out the flavor of the fruit.
Oil and vinegar of course...then a juice that matches.  And herbs/spices of course.  And salt and pepper...without that you TOTALLY won't have it!


And an optional addition I love if you aren't going vegan...CHEESE.  Of course again match your fruit and something that stands alone pretty well...so nothing softer than feta for sure.
I've found mozzarella and Parmesan go REALLY well with most things...feta and cheddar work well but have to be paired correctly


Its a pretty simple five steps!

Here are a few I have used recently


Strawberry Spinach Salad with Strawberry Vinaigrette
(I used mozzarella instead of feta and pecans)

Apple and Spring Mix with Cinnamon Vinaigrette
(I excluded the pomegranates, used sunflower seeds and cheddar cheese)

Mandarin Cranberry with Basil Vinaigrette
 


These are ones I still want to try.......

http://www.thegardengrazer.com/2013/04/southwestern-chopped-salad-with.html

http://www.cinnamonspiceandeverythingnice.com/italian-chopped-salad/

Things You Should Know About: From DC to BC

Hey Guys!   Its Tuesday

Some of you may have seen this..and some of you even know this gal.


May I introduce a childhood friend Sarah Shumway of From DC to BC

This gal is both smart and a talented writer....AKA has a ROCKSTAR blog!

SEVERAL months back she wrote a response to a CNN article regarding young adults and religion.

It spread like WILDFIRE and I meant over and over to write my response as well.
But life became life and it didn't happen.

But the topic is something I don't want to die....so lets bring it up again yes???



(please excuse the novel you are about to read....I will try to be appropriately concise...but y'all know me...NOT my strongest skill!)



Why I Am Staying.

1. Cause everything else is changing....I need the stability!

Everything in my life seems to be changing at WARP speed. New job. New place. NEW NEW NEW

The Church is the only stable thing in my life frankly. No matter where I go there is a congregation for me to attend. A congregation that teaches the same things as every other congregation.

I know I am not the only young single adult (YSA) who has a rapidly changing life. It is a classic characteristic of emerging adulthood. Changing relationships, transitioning social circles, educational advancements, career evolution, relocation and self determination. And for me religion, specifically my church and my religion has greatly helped me cope with all this change.


2. Cause I need people!

I'm a pretty social person. And the same way the Church has provided me with stability it has also provided me with an essential support system. Church has provided me with a home away from home, a stand in family when mine couldn't be there.  Members of our church takes care of each other (physically and emotionally) and I am so grateful for that

On top of the support system it gives me some social interaction I might not have otherwise.  Its hard to meet people as a YSA.  The bar scene isn't super conducive to relationships that aren't potentially disastrous (friendships and romantic relationships).  Church gives me a group of people who are in similar places in their lives who can be my other option on a Friday night.

3. Cause I'm not perfect!

Surprise surprise right?  My religion provides with many opportunities and ways to become closer to my Savior Jesus Christ.  Though I strongly believe I don't NEED organized religion to be close to my Savior  (I'm a HUGE believer in spirituality over religiosity but that is a topic for another day!) I do also strongly believe that my religion give me tools to be closer to my Savior.

Through Church I am able to learn more about Jesus Christ and how to be more like Him.  I am able to partake in ordinances of the priesthood that give me extra help and comfort as I navigate this crazy life!


4.Cause I learn soo much!

Of course any church teaches you lots.  We go to church for 3 hours every week...so lots of time to study and discuss things of a religious nature.  We study the Bible as well as the Book of Mormon and the Doctrine and Covenants (other canonized scripture) in Sunday School as well as the teachings of modern-day prophets and general doctrines of the church.  Lessons could be about Daniel in the lions den or the Word of Wisdom (our "law" of health).  They could be about dealing with trials well or about the life and ministry of Jesus Christ.  Its a mixed bag...and often since I grew up in the church its something I've already heard or already know.  But the repetition and variety is never a problem for me.  I always learn something new, or see something in a different light.

On top of scriptural and doctrinal knowledge, being a member of my church means that I learn a great deal about other people, organization, preparation, and responsibility.  Our church has what is called a lay ministry.  AKA the members of the church run the congregation.  I have been a leader in the women's organization, music leader, a teacher, and a director of service projects.  All of these responsibilities have given me life long training in planning activities and running organizations effectively.

On top of this, I have learned so much about people and interacting with people.  Our church is diverse in background, beliefs and personalities.  I am immensely grateful for the social skills that being a member of this church has taught me.  I am also incredibly grateful for having opportunities to learn how serve when it isn't easy, be tolerant of those I disagree with and to understand those who are different from me.


5. Because it makes me happy.

Sometimes my religion can be frustrating.  When I am trying to find clothes that are fashionable and meet my religious modesty standards.....or when I have extra meetings all day on Sunday...or when I just don't want to fulfill a responsibility cause I'm just too busy, overwhelmed or tired.
BUT....
In general the occasional frustration is IMMENSELY outweighed by the happiness that comes from having wonderful friends.  From having opportunities to serve.  From learning.  From hearing comforting and uplifting words.  From applying the doctrine and counsel to my life.


And so that is why I stay.  That is why I won't be going anywhere soon!



So why are you staying in your religion?  Why are you going to your church?


(If you would like more information...please visit this website or post questions in the comment box below)

Things You Should Know About Tuesdays

So I'm gonna start a new series.

Every Tuesday I will introduce you to something new......or something I'm pretty sure not many people know about....but they SHOULD.


We will see how it goes!!!!!



Today I would like to introduce you to one of my BESTIES!!!!!!!

Miss Julie Humphries.....
One of the most talented singer/songwriters I have EVER met.

Also totes gorg...and single gentleman......

She recently set up a YouTube Channel.....so LIKE/FOLLOW/SUBSCRIBE (whatever you do on YouTube)


CHECK HER OUT!!!!

(she will hopefully become a regular on Smile Because It Happened)