TWATTSG: the DTR...It Shouldn't HAVE to Happen

I know its Monday-which usually means music. .
But I'm not feeling music (weird I know!)

BUT a conversation with Little Sister and Baby Sister yesterday sparked some thoughts
And so I will share......


First some background for those who are not in the Mormon dating culture (lucky ducks!  haha jk)

A DTR, or determine the relationship, is a common occurrence in our world.  Its a conversation where both parties are able to communicate their wants and needs in the relationship and where they see/want it to go.

DTRs are not simply limited to "alright we've been on a couple of dates, are we dating exclusively/officially?" They also can be employed whenever a couple would like to take the next step in their relationship.


Now, did you see how I bolded and italized the word CAN?
That means I don't really approve of the DTR in ALL situations.
Now I will concede that sometimes you have to...communication is important and I would never discourage it.
HOWEVER.  In most situations...DTRs create MORE trouble and drama than they prevent.

Too many times after a long (generally whiny) gab fest with a girlfriend about confusion over a hot/cold guy...the result is advice to have a DTR.

DON'T LISTEN TO THEM!!!!

It is VERY possible to have a natural organic and obvious progression in a relationship.
As long as you are progressing.
Signs can let you know -- if he keeps asking you on dates....he prolly doesn't hate you.  If he holds your hand....if he kisses you.  If he introduces you as his girlfriend.  If he asks you to marry him.

Does this make sense??
I feel like guys worry that we don't want your "advances".
(PS 9 times out of 10 she wants it! like FOR REALS!!!!!)
If we don't we will let you know.  Its VERY easy to get out of holding someone's hand/kissing them/marrying them.
So just give it a shot.....

I know this is putting a lot of pressure on the guys.

And in a future post perhaps I will put more on the gals.
(cause we do have a little power wink wink nudge nudge)
But today I would like to borrow a thought from my favorite "Spicy Chicana"

"PUT ON YOUR BIG BOY PANTS!!!!"

DTRs can be avoided....just avoid plateaus.
Don't be hot and cold.  And you will do just fine :)


And thats the world according to this Swilly Girl!


Now Be Happy Be Healthy...and put on your BIG BOY PANTS  ;D