Confession time:
I have only had 3 relationships in my life (and 1 of those might not really count)
And ALL of those guys have started dating their wife/fiancee within DAYS of breaking up with me.
Seriously..except for guy number 2 they cheated on me with their wife/fiancee.
So here is the deal.
I am starting a new business. "Dump and Date" (its a working title...it might not last)
I will need an assistant who will be in the background to set it all up (any takers???)
Contact my assistant and work out all the details.
Make me like you
Date me (it has been proven that even just a week is enough)
Stomp on my heart just a little bit...and you'll be all set.
I will only charge a small fee to cover my pain and suffering (which will likely decrease once my assistant tells me it was a set up!)
I have a very good track record... 3 for 3! You can't get better than 100%
PS....congrats on your wedding Boy Next Door.
And Farm Boy--glad you found happiness. With the way you treated me, you don't really deserve it but...WHATEVER. I'm happy for you anyway
Same thing has been happening to me lately! Here's an idea: We'll date and then we'll find the person we're to marry! (Or, who knows, we'll end up getting married!) ;-)
ReplyDeletePS I'm not very good at the heart stomping part, so perhaps I don't qualify...
ReplyDeleteHahaha! Steph! This is hilarious. I totally volunteer as your assistant. Except...since we live in different places, that might not work very well...
ReplyDelete