Dear Trials of Faith and Answers to Prayers

Have you ever asked the question why me?
If you haven't I shun you for being too good of a person and ask you never read my blog again (hahaha jk!)

I caught myself saying that all day last Monday. Everything was going wrong in my personal life that day. And You know how once you start listing all the bad things that are wrong with your life you can't stop?
I began asking why things were happening to my family...and not happening to them. And why things were happening to my friends...and not happening to them.
I was peeved to say the least.

I felt like I had been trying really hard to be a good person...to read my scriptures more fervently..to pray more earnestly. I was trying to listen better to the Spirit. And I felt like I was being punished for all my efforts.

That night I opened up my scriptures to read about faith. I have been doing a kind of systematic study of faith-with my most recent pattern being going through the Topical Guide and reading all the scriptures about faith. I was in the Doctrine and Covenants at this point. And let me show you what I found in section 105, verse 19:

I have heard their prayers, and will accept their offering; and it is expedient in me that they should be brought thus far for a trial of their faith.


Wow! Can we say answer to the prayer I wasn't even praying!!!!!!!!!!
I was doing all I could do.  And I felt ignored for it.  But this scripture that day spoke to me specifically.  I was being heard.  What I was doing was acceptable.  But my faith was being tried.

The very next day things started to fall into place little by little.  The puzzle is not complete...of course.  There are still pieces in the wrong spots and pieces that are totally missing.  But I'm ok.  I'm being heard....and its all going to work out for the best in the end.

Trials of our faith are not easy.  Lets be straight up honest---they SUCK!  But we have to keep doing our best to survive them.  And we will come out on the other end stronger.
Faith precedes the miracle they say.  Not sure if this trial of my faith is to strengthen me for an impending miracle or if it is just to make me stronger.  Who knows.
But what I do know is that I am (oh strike me down right now!) grateful for the trial of my faith that I am experiencing.
I don't guarantee that I will always feel that way...this may be a fleeting feeling.  But at least I will always have this moment to look back on, so that I can try and get that gratitude back.