5/10 Years Down the Road

So you know back in high school and middle school and elementary school they asked us where we saw ourselves 5 or 10 years in the future? So there is this new show about looking bakc 10 years after high school. I haven't seen an episode (who has time for that!!?!!) but a commercial I saw for it made me think. I am not 10 years from HS graduation nor am a quite 5, but I got the "where do you see yourself" question all through school/adolescence.

So it got me thinking if where I am right now is where I pictured myself being in 2010, my senior year of college. And to be totally honest I am not sure I am where I expected I would be.


True, I am geographically where I thought I would be. Coming out to BYU-Provo has always kinda been in the plans. So that one has happened the way I wanted it to.

But 5 years ago I planned on nursing. I never planned on child development and nursing later. But then again, and I have said this before....this is the way it was supposed to be. I have LOVED child development and it has been a fairly low stress major. I have had to work, but I watch my friends who are in the nursing program and watch them and their levels of stress..and I am grateful. I have learned a ton and everything that I learn I know that I can apply..in my life and in my career. At first it was a hard decision to make...but it was one of the best I have ever made.

5 years ago I planned on never getting married, never dating, never ever ever! It was just a phase I went through I guess. But 10 years ago, I think I pictured myself married. My mom got married at 22 so I guess I always pictured myself getting married around then too. I will turn 22 in November and have no plans on being married before then and likely won't be married soon after either. And upon reflection....I am glad that I am currently not where I thought I would be in this area both 5 and 10 years ago. I am in a kinda between place. Not against marriage anymore but also not planning on it right away. People ask me all the time about it and I'll be totally honest I sometimes feel the pressure being out at BYU where marriage is such a big thing. But I am trying to be faithful about it. I know it will happen if it is supposed to and will happen when it is supposed to. The Lord has taken such good care of me in all the other aspects of my life, that I know He will do that again.

So as I look back and think of where I wanted to be and compare it to where I am now.....I think I am content. It wasn't what I expected when I started writing. I thought I would be disappointed but actually I am ok with how things have worked out. I guess it is a good thing I wrote this all out so that I could figure that out :)

Thoughts about Gratitude

So I might post twice today because I kind of have two things to talk about. The first is how grateful I am. I have had so many opportunities given to me lately and I am just feeling really grateful. There is this song from Wicked---I am sure you all have heard it---called For Good.
Its a great song. And i think that this really applicable to so many people's lives..but right now it is very applicable to mine. The Lord has placed in my life...throughout it in fact I just haven't always noticed.....so many people who are amazing and have helped me so much.

It has been a hard beginning of the semester. I've mentioned how I hardly could find time to sit down??? Things got really insane one week and I just felt so overwhelmed. I of course called my rock....my mom. She is so amazing. She has totally gotten down the perfect balance I need of sympathy and "oh that is so terrible" and "ok stop crying how do we fix this". She encouraged me to make some hard decisions and do what needed to be done to fix my situation. I am so grateful that I was given such a wonderful person to take care of me. All the good things about me started with her. I don't know how I got so lucky!

So this same week I went to talk to my bishop (congregation leader/spiritual advisor) to get his help in figuring some things out. I have never in my life had a stronger testimony of the divine calling of bishop. It was unreal how every time I thought something negative, he would immediately refute it. I didn't even have to say it out loud, he just knew. I know he was being directed by the Spirit and I am so grateful to have been placed in this ward. My Heavenly Father knew exactly what I needed and made sure that I got it.

After such a hard week, I decided I really needed to go out of town. Though I could have easily taken the bus, my aunt Trish and uncle Micheal allowed me to borrow their car for the weekend. It was such a blessing to have the freedom and flexibility it provided. They always take such good care of me and I am so grateful for a second set of parents here in Utah while I am away from my own.

I also have to be so grateful for my wonderful uncle Rodney and aunt Tiffany and their wonderful children, who welcomed me into their home for a little while and allowed me to escape. Then comes my aunt Wanda and uncle Joe. These two people are possibly the kindest people you will ever meet. They also welcomed me into their home..and not only that but welcomed me into their family. They were having a big family get together for a missionary farewell but still opened their arms and their hearts to me. Their wonderful children made me feel so at home---I just adore them all.

I have already mentioned my mom and now I really have to mention the rest of my amazing family. They are all wonderful amazing and have changed my life, but I really am grateful for my little brother Garrett and sister Hillary today. I got some kinda bummer news today. Not terrible, my life is over news just kinda aww well that sucks news. Anyway, I needed someone to talk to and so I called my baby sister. Who would have thought that a 16 year old would be so wise....haha. She is a lot like my mom, she knew when to stop saying I'm sorry and start telling me it wasn't the end of the world and that I shouldn't be so dramatic. Then my darling little brother, who has become the best big brother a girl could have made sure that I knew if I needed to talk I was more important then the movie he was watching with a bunch of people..and a girl (who knows with him the chick magnet!). I have been so blessed to be the big sister of such amazing kids. I always want to make life easier for them..but more often than not they make it better for me!

I have been blessed also with amazing roommates and friends. They always are there for me and will pick me up whenever I am down. I can't even begin to talk about what they have done. If I tried to describe it..as with most of these people I am currently so grateful for....I would not be able to find adequate words.

People do come into our lives for a reason...

bringing something we must learn and

we are led to those who help us most to grow.
I know I'm who I am today because I knew you.
Whatever way our stories end...

I know you have rewritten mine by being my friend.

Lagoon Trip aka the trip where we did lots of stupid stuff----as promised

So I am not sure if this is going to be as funny now because it has been a week....and the funny things I have said may have left. But we will give it a shot.
So my bestie Kenna invited me to go to Lagoon (amusement park in UT, for those who don;t know) last Saturday. It was the last Saturday before the semester started up so I was super psyched for a last hurrah of sorts. So five us drove up: me, Kenna, Kenna's brother Logan, Logan's friend Kenna, and our friend Scott.
We started the day kinda slow. We were all super tired from staying up late the night before and Kenna was fighting a possible cold. This actually was sort of a source of amusement actually cause when Kenna is out of it....it is pretty funny. But this early hiccup did not signal to us any sort of problem. SO we got to the park and picked our first ride...........the rickity wooden one.
To be honest the "Roller Coaster" (yes that was its name creative right?) was not particularly scary. It didn't go very fast. It wasn't very high---even for my standards. It didn't turn you upside down. And yet I was quite nervous. Because even time I looked to the side I saw the boards literally SHAKING underneath the weight.
Stupid move number 1---looking to the side and not looking straight ahead. Every time I did I had a minor freak out consisting of me saying "oh crap" to which Kenna just laughed.
Then we moved onto The Wicked.....This one looked like way to much for me so I sat this one out...I was the official STUFF holder haha. I am really not sure what happened to everyone else, but I got some VERY interesting people watching time in. You know how nerdy chem majors can tell you the chemical formulas for random objects that you have no desire to know about, and physics/engineering majors tell you how things you don't really care about work? Well I am child development so what do I do......guess the ages of kids. Weird I know and kinda creepy. But I think I did pretty well that day. Of course I couldn't really find out for sure unless I really wanted to worry some parents! Anyway when they came back they told me it wasn't that bad. There was another ride right next to the Wicked that they wanted to try...but this one looked WAY too much for me....lots of upside down...I can do fast and backwards and up and down and twisty......but NOT upside down...even for a second. So I waited again and people watched again. this time when they got done I did not see the happy faces from before. Stupid move number 2 (granted this one may not totally count cause how should we know). This ride practically decapitated...or at least concussed..several members of the group. Apparently there was one point that if Logan had been an inch or two taller it would have been BAD. We later noticed that there was a warning sign saying that person with "certain extreme physical characteristics such as height, weight or unusual body proportions" would not be allowed to ride. should have given us a clue............
So after that one we had to take a break. So we sat for a while then went over the the pioneer village and wandered around there. Then we passed one of those rides where you go down the river in a big inner tube and try to dodge the waterfalls. We thought it would be pretty fun....but then we saw the line. LONG!!!!!!!! So we went next door ish to the log ride. Stupid mistake number 3....this line was prolly as long as the one before and yet we still got in it (it was wrapping deceivingly). Anyway so as we sat in line we formulated a plan. The logs pretty much held four adults and we had five. We somehow came to the conclusion that we could squeeze all five of us in there (stupid mistake number 4) After this determination we began to plan how to arrange everyone. We decided Cameron Kenna and I should squeeze in the front as the smallest and lightest. Then put Scott and Logan, the biggest two in the back. We were told by the boy....literally he was not older than 16!!!!....that putting the heavier people in the back would get us less wet. Don't ask me how something about the front of the boat/log being more above water and therefore displacing less. PS side note...there were for sure kids no older than 10 working there....child labor laws?????????????????????????????? Anyway stupid mistake number 5 was listening to this kid. And if we thought about it, putting the biggest ones in the back would get us going faster thereby probably getting us more wet. Our goal was to not get wet...which is why this whole ride may have been one big mistake. Anyway so we got on seriously squishing....me and Cameron had never met before that day...we are now very close haha. So we get going and we are seriously DRAGGING on the bottom of the pool. Totally scrapping the bottom. At this point we realize this may have not been our best idea ever. Then we get to the point of the ride were we go up at about a 60 degree angle. I thought for sure we were too heavy to make it up. I was convinced we would get stuck. When we get to the top successfully and we truly realize how wet we are going to get. The little girls behind us are already laughing at our misfortune and the guy at the top just gives us this look as says "have fun" Then we freak out and try as hard as we can to hide behind the person in front of us. We come CRASHING down the slide and at first we just get a little splashed, and for a second I think "oh that wasn't too bad...we have conquered this". Yeah...very wrong..... Suddenly a TIDAL WAVE comes rushing over us..totally drenching us. Screaming begins and all those people in line after us (several dozen) begin to LAUGH their HEADS off. WOW...we are soooooo smart.
So this is getting long so I will go fast through the next ones....we went to go get food...Logan is the most wet and cold and is wearing jeans so is drying slowly. We pick subway..the only place with cold food in the park mistake 6. Then we go on the Ferris Wheel...mistake number 7 being telling Cameron and Scott to stop spinning the cart since it only encouraged them. Then onto the Rocket...this one Logan and I skipped but Scott and Cameron regretted as Scott had a brush with death (his seat almost didn't lock) and Cameron realized how much he is not a fan of heights..SUCKAS!!!! mistake number 7. Then we decided to hit a super fast ride...not remembering the name. But this one we again (STUPID) decided to shove us all in a spot for four. Kenna's backside got roasted from the friction and Scott...got seriously smushed... mistake number 8. Then we went on the ski lift...harmless right...except when my hand got stuck and then something else happened with Cameron's seat but I am not sure what (mistake 9) Then we went on the the Wicked again. This time they dragged me along. I was terrified and though I did scream I HATE YOU GUYS at one point...it was still fun and I am glad they made me. It really wasn't that bad.
So that was our day. A total of 9 stupid mistakes that really made the day a blast. Though they were stupid and we totally paid for them...I don't think I would have wanted it any other way. GREAT memories. Who said being stupid wasn't fun????

Those Little Things

You know those days when the smallest thing makes it all worth it? I have a super crazy schedule this semester. I work 20 hours, am taking 14 credits, and volunteering for about 8 hours...all in one week. Then there is homework, my church calling (RS 1st counselor AHH) and attempting to have a social life..... With all this stuff going on I am super busy and trying to find time to just sit down is quite a challenge.

So after this crazy week I finished it up with volunteering. I volunteer at a crisis nursery-a place where children from at risk home can just be kids and have a safe place to be for a little while. Sometimes, generally in fact, it is simply so their parents can look for a job, have a break to run errands attend therapy or a meeting, or receive medical treatment. Other times they are there under court order until the state can determine where they should be placed. Either way, all these children have had a rough time and their parents have had it even harder. Anyway so my job is to just spend one on one time with the kids. We estimate that over half of these kids have been seriously neglected or in some way abused. It is important that they have positive experiences with adults and are given an opportunity for cognitive and social development (aka playing).
I had just had a long bus ride out to the center and a very long week before that. I got there and almost immediately noticed a little girl, kind of off to the side seeming alone and a bit withdrawn. I decided she would be my first stop. I went over and started to play with some cars she was sitting by. She was probably around 18-20 months old (its hard to tell when children may have been deprived of various things because the normal milestones don't generally come online at normal times). But as I showed her the cars and showed her how to make the roll and "vroom", she became a totally different little girl. When I first sat down she didn't really respond to me....just kinda sat and stared. Then slowly but surely she began to interact with me. And then she began to talk and make the cars go vroom too :). I would do something she would like and she would say AGAIN! I would sometimes describe a car and she would try to repeat what I had said..."een ar" (green car btw haha).

It was so amazing to see this transformation. It made everything I have gone through this week, to make sure that I could be there this afternoon totally worth it. When I see that I am making at least a small difference......that is when I know there is nothing else I want to be doing. It is worth all the sacrifices.