Share The Gift

Its a work weekend...so sleeping is taking precedence over deep and skillful writing.  (cause that happens so often on this blog!!!!)


But I have been wanting to share this video since it was released.
And now is the PERFECT moment.


(warning...I get weepy at the end.  every time.  just a public service announcement)

Since Its Sunday: Keep Your Antennas Up

Many of you know I'm a Mormon....

Something my church had begun to do recently is put out "Mormon Messages".

Little videos of inspiration, hope and love.

This one is very special to me.

You might want to grab a tissue (I needed one!)

Please watch......

Now if you wouldn't mind I'd love to talk about it a little.

This topic is close to my heart.

We all have people in our lives who we love, who are struggling with feelings of depression.

Feelings that can, when a perfect storm hits, can develop into thoughts of suicide.

Few of us however are trained in psychology or psychiatry.

I have personally felt like I didn't know what to say and what to do.

I have had friends who have said they didn't know what to say or what to do.

You don't have to know.  Of course you want to fix it.  Of course you want to say the perfect thing. Find the silver bullet that will save the person you love, even when they don't want to be saved.

But it doesn't have to come from what you say.  

It comes from your presence.  From being there.  From standing by.

When you feel that low its hard to see anyone who cares or anyone who will not be better off without you around.

So prove them wrong.  Gently help them see your love.
(I say gently, as forcing yourself on someone doesn't usually end well)

Help them know you are there, by being there.

Presence.  Its cheesy and cliche.  But its the best present you can give.

You may not know someone right now who is struggling with deep and intense thoughts of suicide.

But you know someone who is discouraged.  You know someone who is broken hearted and in need of your love.  And you never know what personal and internal battle they might be facing.

Look out for them.  Love them.

I have watched people turn to the most unlikely of "saviors" in their darkest moments because they knew there would be nothing but love.

Be the person people can turn to.  Be the look out.  Give the gift of presence and love.

Keep Your Antennas Up

They need you.

Since its Sunday: Gratitude IN not FOR

I will admit I feel a tad bit guilty for having a little rant about being ok with not loving your trials and sorrows. (see THIS post for more)

I'm always gonna say what I think and not sugar coat it.

Trials and bad stuff...rotten.  Rotten and no fun!

And its ok to think that...

BUT  

(there is always a but isn't there)

It is also important WHAT we do with our feelings.

It can be really really hard to not become bitter, jaded, and cold when the world seems to have nothing good in it.

We have to be careful.  Positivity is a virtue that sheds a ray of sunshine on a difficult time.  And we can't let it hide and negativity take over our attitudes and outlook on life.

But how??  When life super sucks how do we see the positive?

Well one helpful little thing is gratitude.

"But I've tried gratitude" you say.  

And yeah, for a little while thinking of all the things I'm grateful for makes me happier.  But then I start making a lit of all the things I'm SOOOO not grateful for!"

Oh so you are chronic pessimist like me!  Yeah!  Buddies!!!!

Trust me...I know its hard to  not see the negatives outweigh the positives.

A great leader in our church, whom I admire greatly Dieter F Uchtdorf suggested the following....

Could I suggest that we see gratitude as a disposition, a way of life that stands independent of our current situation? In other words, I’m suggesting that instead of being thankful for things, we focus on being thankful in our circumstances—whatever they may be.

Again a truth moment....I'm not sure I get this super well and FOR SURE do not practice it well.

Here is some more of what he said that helps clarify it for me a little.

When we are grateful to God in our circumstances, we can experience gentle peace in the midst of tribulation. In grief, we can still lift up our hearts in praise. In pain, we can glory in Christ’s Atonement. In the cold of bitter sorrow, we can experience the closeness and warmth of heaven’s embrace.

We sometimes think that being grateful is what we do after our problems are solved, but how terribly shortsighted that is. How much of life do we miss by waiting to see the rainbow before thanking God that there is rain?

I think for me the key is this....its helpful to be grateful for things in our lives.  But it is even better to grateful for our circumstances and the situations we are in.

The idea of an attitude of gratitude is kinda cliche.  But I think cultivating a constant state of gratitude in good and bad times is always going to help.

Its easy to get into the habit when things are good.  So take advantage of that time to practice and make it a habit...a part of who you are!

Then hopefully when the rough times come...it stays.

Being grateful in times of distress does not mean that we are pleased with our circumstances. It does mean that through the eyes of faith we look beyond our present-day challenges.

THERE IT IS!!!!  That's what I'm saying!!! 

I am VERY good at not being pleased with my circumstances.  Not as good at looking beyond with eyes of faith though.....

(could talk for posts and posts about faith....but we will leave it at that for now!)

This type of gratitude transcends whatever is happening around us. It surpasses disappointment, discouragement, and despair. It blooms just as beautifully in the icy landscape of winter as it does in the pleasant warmth of summer.

I'm not saying its an easy thing to do.  But I can be very sure that it is helpful.  And that it will bring a contentment and peace to times of trial and times of plenty.

(To read the entire talk I referenced, click HERE)

If I Got a Tattoo..........

I don't plan on getting a tattoo.

I'm terrified of needles (I KNOW I KNOW I'm a nurse....its different when I put them in other people!!)

And there's a few religious hang ups as well.

Plus....I can't even commit to buying a $3 sweater from a thrift store....how can I commit to something that not only costs more....but is INSANELY more permanent.


but if I did...........

I do have a few ideas.


I'll admit that lately I have been more tempted than normal.  Call it my rebellion against the status quo of my life that has become very monotonous.

So I've been considering it.


I've also lately found a lot of phrases lately that I ADORE.

Is it acceptable to adore phrases?  Call me a wordy weirdo if its not!


One I've shared before
"It Can Be Fixed" (thanks Hott Latino)
But can we pause for a moment and contemplate the irony of getting a tattoo with such religious undertones?

Another that I got from the delightful Ashlee of The Moments We Stand (recent OBSESSION!)
"Be Still.  Breathe"
When the world is raging and your mind swirling. When nothing seems to make sense and you feel your heart begin to race and your breath getting ragged....
Be still.  Breathe.

Its all going to be ok....cause it can be fixed.....
(see what I did just there??)



After attending the Ingrid Michaelson concert last week (wait for monday for more on that one!!)
I have also become obsessed with the phrase
"Living like you're dying isn't living at all"

(Afterlife has become my new pump me up song!)

But I don't think that phrase is really tattoo worthy.

"We are, we are, we're gonna be alright. We got, we got, we always got the fight in us"

But OI! that would hurt!  sooooooo long.



But do you really want to know the winner???

across the right side of my ribs.  In swirly but not too swirly type.


Always Keep Chasing The Sun


Are you surprised?

haha  didn't think so.

"The Starving Children In Africa"

How many times have we been told we should be grateful.

That there are so many people who have it worse than us.


I hate that.  Truly hate that!

Maybe its just the world according to me....but there is no such thing as a "worse" trial.


Everyone has bad things happen to them.  And it doesn't matter if they might be considered by outsiders to be small or huge.  It doesn't even matter if in a few years you, yourself might not consider it to be a big trial.

They are huge and serious to you in this moment.

And they are huge and serious to your loving Heavenly Father.  He worries just as much about the struggling divorcee as He does about parents trying to raise 5 kids under the age of 8.  He is just as concerned for the girl stranded on the side of the road waiting for AAA to arrive as He is for the alcoholic.

Last night I took the time to read a blog I have been meaning to read since a family friend introduced it to me back in March.

What would you do if your husband and the father of your 5 children, the youngest 6 weeks old, was brutally murdered by the husband of his mistress?

Of anyone, this women might be justified in saying her trails were worse than anyone else's.
But what does she say?

Whatever the situation and wherever you have been . . . you have been hurt. You have felt alone. You have been abandoned, either by your parents, your lover, your friends, complete strangers, or even yourself. We have all been at that crossroad where all we have left is ourselves.

Sometimes these moments of lows have brought you to your knees and caused you to reflect and ponder your relationship with God . . . and other times they have made you question if He is even there, or if He knows you are alone. Whatever that moment has been for you, it is personal and real. It has defined and refined who you are, who you think you were, and who you want to become.

(If I wasn't impressed with this women already....guess what...I was FLOORED by this statement)

It is personal and real.

I'm not against squaring your shoulders and counting your blessings.

I'm not saying that gratitude is not an important part of getting through trials.

Both are crucial in survival and are essential for happiness

But I have seen too many people belittle their own feelings.

And worse I have seen too many people lessen and disregard the pain and the hurt of others.

Never think you are better than someone because you think you have hurt more than them.

Never think someone doesn't have a right to feel pain because their trial is small.

And never feel guilty for being hurt.  For struggling with a trial or temptation.

It matters.  You matter.

And so does everyone else.

We all have trails.  We all struggle.

So lets be kind to each other.  And to ourselves.

Also if you want to bawl your eyes out, or hear incredible stories of forgiveness and strength in trials.....

http://www.themomentswestand.com/

It Can Be Fixed

We live in a world where things can be broken.


Bones and bodies can fail due to circumstance or disease.

Cars and technology can malfunction.

Personal belongings can be gone in seconds.

Natural disasters can come from no where and forever change what was.

And seemingly worst of all....

Relationships can be wounded and damaged.

Ideals and dreams can be crushed and lost.



During a particularly dark and dreary time in my life, I looked to a dear friend for comfort and advice.

Through my tears I told him how broken things had become.  How I didn't know what to do anymore.
I've always considered myself a pretty capable person.  I'm really good at finding solutions to problems.

But the problems I faced didn't have solutions I could see.


I'll never forget what he said...and even more how he said it.

He looked at me...with the most kind eyes.  "I feel impressed to tell you...It can be fixed"


The most broken things can be repaired.


My life is no different than any other.  My sorrows are not unique or special in anyway.

And yet...there is a solution.  A specific, individual solution, just for me.

Every problem that keeps me up at night.
Every sorrow that breaks my heart.
Every hurtful, painful thing that brings tears to my eyes.

They all can be fixed.


A deeply faithful person would say something like "It all will be fixed on the Lord's time table and in the Lord's way"

But I'm not that faithful right now.

And thats ok.  I'll take my mustard seed.  My little glimmer of faith and hope that all that is broken will be mended.

I don't want to worry about the whats or the hows.  Its too exhausting.  And leads me to doubt and question and fear.


When I feel like I'm drowning in the raging waters of this life...I grab on to this one thought...

It can be fixed

And yours can too.

I don't usually include scripture or doctrinal evidence when I write-I prefer to be anecdotal.

But please-if you would like to know what doctrinal basis/knowledge/foundation I have for this faith, the following links may be helpful.

https://www.lds.org/ensign/2013/03/the-enabling-power-of-the-atonement?lang=eng

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/04/bear-up-their-burdens-with-ease?lang=eng

http://www.mormon.org/beliefs/plan-of-salvation  
(scroll down to God's Plan-What Jesus Did For Us)

I don't know what to title this post.

My previous post for today is going to get put on hold.

Because today I found out some very sad news.
Below is a post I wrote back in February about the sweet daughter of a dear friend of mine.

She had been doing well at the time.  Finishing the first major round of treatments and waiting for the next step.

Friday she suffered a major setback and it is medically clear that she will not be with us much longer.

So many thoughts are swirling in my mind.



I'm ashamed to admit there are thoughts of anger.

She had to be one of the 4 in 1 million?

This is a beautiful righteous wonderful family.
Its not fair.  Its not fair at all.  How could this happen

They have prayed so hard.  They have fought so hard.
So much prayer and fasting.  So many times have names been put on the alters of the temple
She is so young and so precious.


But at the same time thoughts of gratitude can't be pushed aside.

I'm grateful for my knowledge that children, under the age of eight are saved.  They have that magical golden ticket to pass by the sentinels that stand watch at the gates of heaven.

I'm grateful to know that families are eternal, and that regardless of what may happen, The Graves family will be able to be with their little Anni again.

I'm grateful to know that soon this sweet 3 year old will be free of the pain and fear that has plagued her life these last many months.



Then my thoughts turn to prayer.

Prayers that her parents will be comforted in their grief.  That their faith will be strengthened and their heavy hearts lifted.

Prayers that her siblings will be able to cope and find solace in a world that doesn't make sense even if you are an adult.

Prayers for grandparents who have put their heart and souls into anchoring and supporting this family. Prayer that they will feel strong and be able to grieve and support-a dual task that is not an easy one.

Prayers for the friends and neighbors who have helped...prayer that they will continue to flood this family with love and assistance.

Prayers for the medical team caring for this sweet girl and her family.  That they will make all the best decisions and give the highest level of care.  And that they will be comforted in their sorrow...we may see it a lot, but we are not immune.

One of the most powerful lessons I remember from Rebekah (Anni's mother) when I was a teenager was on prayer.  With great emotion she told us of times when she prayed and her prayers were answered.
Never did I imagine that this lesson would become so powerful as I tried (feebly) to help in some small way.


All we ever can do sometimes is pray.

And so that is what I will do.


Graves family you are in my thoughts...you are in my prayers.

Light in the Darkness

The world is full of darkness.  There is so much out there that can swallow us up.

War, famine, disease.  Anger, fear, depression.  Addiction, hurt, pain.

It can be consuming.  Its the easy thing to just give into the darkness.


Finding the light is the hard thing.  It takes work.

And even more it takes bravery.



Light can dispel the darkness.  Light pushes away the pain and the hurt.

Light can mend the broken heart.
Light can lift the wounded spirit.


Let the light in.

Since Its Sunday: The Parable of the Elevator

I got to talk to a dear dear friend tonight...tissues and tears abounded.....but I left feeling lifted.


Life throws a lot of curve balls and today I felt like I was in a batting cage with no bat....getting pelted by balls right and left.


So I called a friend and luckily he was still awake and alright with me saying through sobs "I'm coming over...I'm halfway there and I'll see you in 7 minutes"


He is a wise and caring friend...and he let me rant and cry and just get it all out.  And then he gave me some lovely advice.

And he told me something that I am now going to call the parable of the elevator.


We all know how an elevator works.  You push the button.  The cart arrives.  The door opens.  You get in and it takes you where you need to go.

But have you ever thought about what would happen if those steps didn't go in that order?

What if the door opened before the cart arrived?
If the door opened and there was no cart, you would step in and fall, potentially to your death.


Sometimes its all about timing.
And sometimes the closed door is protection.

Its hard to see the closed door.  You push and push and push that button, impatient for the cart to arrive.

And sometimes you wait.  You wait for what seems like forever.

But then finally the door opens and you safely get to your destination.

But if that door had opened early....who knows what would have happened.


Its hard to stand and wait.  Its hard to have the perspective that the cart hasn't yet arrived.

So even when its hard.

We have to be grateful for closed doors.

Anyone who has been following me frequently/for a while (ehem...you know who you are) knows I adore this song.

A beautiful song about seeing the beauty in the heart break of closed doors

#TBT....My Trip To the Kansas City Temple

Lets go back a few years to a great weekend trip to Kansas City!



Can I please tell you how amazing my weekend has been?  You guys are gonna get an awesome three post day..cause I have three very important things to talk about!

First I had the amazing pleasure and honor to attend the open house of the Kansas City Missouri Temple.

For those of you who did not know, when our church builds a new temple, the building is open to the public for a few weeks before it is dedicated (then only worthy church members may enter).

I felt so blessed to be able to enter this beautiful building.  We went through at a time when (according to the tour guides) there were more people going on tours than there had been at any other time so far.  And yet it was still quiet and peaceful.  You would think a couple hundred people would make more noise...but nope!  The weather held off too...so that was really nice.

I was not able to take pictures as it was not particularly appropriate in such a sacred and holy place.  But the church has released these pictures..so wanna take a little tour with me???  (all pictures can be found on http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/mormon-kansas-city-missouri-temple-open-house.)

Feel free to listen as we walk through (I'll explain later why I picked this song)

First lets start in the baptistery.  This is an area where worthy members as young as 12 are able to be baptized as proxies for those who have died without an opportunity to be baptized.  This gives them an opportunity to accept this essential saving ordinance. 

Many times we are able to be baptized for our own personal ancestors...what an amazing experience!

As we move upstairs we come to these two instruction rooms.  Here members of the church learn about the Plan of Happiness that our loving Heavenly Father created for us.  We learn about and make covenants or promises to follow the commandments as well as live Christ-like lives of purity, honesty and service.

I just have to say as a side note...this picture does not do justice to the beauty of the mural in this first room. It was truly magnificent.  The artwork in the temple is all beautiful.  Much of it is centered around Christ, but many landscapes are also displayed.  These paintings, in my humble opinion are particularly breathtaking.

Here we are in the Celestial room.  This is the "ultimate" room of the temple.  When we entered this room no one spoke, not even our tour guide.  It is by far the most beautiful room in the temple.  It is symbolic of the Celestial Kingdom (hence its name haha)  This room is astoundingly gorgeous.  Ornate almost seems like the wrong word, because that makes it sound almost gaudy.  But it is truly elegant and breathtaking.

Alright,..here is another awesomely important room in the temple.  the sealing room.  In our church we believe that families can be together forever despite the short separation brought on by death.  This is the room where that can take place.  Not only are husbands and wives sealed together, but children are also sealed to their parents.  In my opinion this is the happiest room in the whole temple!

Now at one point during our tour, we got an extra special treat.  We were led through the temple by a dear couple from Kansas.  When the wife of the couple realized that we had a little extra time, two young single adult sisters and three young girls in our group she took the sisters on a special trip to this room.....

This is the bride's room.  And oh my gosh...please excuse the reenactment of the MAJOR girly moment that occurred in my head.  

"OH MY GOSH!!! OH MY GOSH!!!!  THIS IS SO PRETTY.  Its like glowing!  Its so shiny and gorgeous I can;t stop smiling...I think I am glowing.  Its rubbing off on me!  OH MY GOSH!!!  Oh look at the mirror...Stephanie stop picturing yourself in a wedding dress in that mirror!!!"

Seriously it was beautiful!!!!

Last thing I want to talk about is the decor.  I know that sounds kind of crazy but it was so lovely, and so perfect.  See in the picture of the recommend desk the stained glass olive tree??

This is where the song comes in.  Throughout the temple, in flower arrangements, on carpets, in gold leafing on ceilings walls, the iron railings, in chandeliers and even in the windows...

there were images of olive branches.  The main color scheme was a lovely green..kind of in between a sage and an olive green, cream and gold.  It all tied back to that olive branch.

My friend and I wondered what the symbolism of that was...and came up with two possibilities.

1. The olive branch symbolizes peace and truce.  Members of the church have a long past of persecution and contention with the citizens of the Kansas City area.  However, this symbol of the olive tree shows that these problems are all in the past and that this temple is an offering to the community of friendship and cooperation.

2. In Jacob (a book in the Book of Mormon) there is an allegory about an Olive Tree that teaches about the gathering of the House of Israel.  We believe that this will happen in a place very close to Kansas City called Adam-ondi-Ahman.  This is another possible source of symbolism.

So that is the end of our tour.  Magnificent building right?

I know that peace can be found there.  I know it is a House of the Lord.  A place where the Lord and His Spirit can dwell.  I know it is a place where we can make special covenants and perform sacred ordinances for our kindred dead to allow them to progress towards salvation..

I'm so so grateful for this opportunity I was able to have.

Here is a short video if you have questions about Mormon Temples

Since Its Sunday: Reread Your Ensign Articles

So its no secret that...I'm a Mormon!!!!

(see side button for more info...see over there...look....ya see it???)


ANYWAY.  Each of our congregations is led by a fellow church member who is asked to volunteer their time and efforts to lead. (much like a pastor)
In a small congregation like mine (AKA a branch) we have a branch president to lead us and help us stay organized.

I'm lucky to have a pretty great one who works really hard to do his best.


A bit ago I was going through a particularly rough time (no way Stephanie isn't that all the time hahaha) and I was meeting with him regarding my church leadership assignment and he gave me some excellent advice.

For a time when he was a young married man he lived with his wife's grandfather.  This man's name was Gordon B Hinckley.  Those Mormons reading will know he was a Prophet and President of our world wide church.

One Saturday when working in the garden my BP noticed that President Hinckley looked very worn down and troubled.  After talking with him for a while about the things troubling him he said "Grandpa what do you do when things are hard and you are discouraged"

And do you know what his reply was????

"I re-read my old Ensign articles" (monthly church magazine with uplifting articles written by leaders)


It was an interesting thought.  Meant to be slightly humorous...but also to teach a valuable lesson.


When we are in the midst of terrible times it seems like life has always been like this.
Studies have shown that people who are less happy do not have less happy memories, they simply have a harder time recalling the happy memories, while happy people have an easier time recalling other happy memories.

With this in mind, re-reading your own journals and looking back on all the memories you have can bring great comfort and peace.  It can break through the clouds of negativity and shine a light down through the end of the tunnel.

As I have done it, I have found things to be grateful for.  I have found ways to help myself be happier and get through the tough times---cause they worked before, and so they will likely work now!!!

Plus with perspective I am even able to look at the difficult times and see the hand of the Lord in my life, blessing me and helping me.


So re-read your old Ensign articles everyone!!!!!!
It might just help ya out :)

Things You Should Know About Tuesday: Trail of Hope

Another wonderful part of my trip was walking down the Trail of Hope.

There is a street in Nauvoo that leads right down to the river.

Along the road, there are markers, with the words of those driven from their homes, in the dead of winter by angry mobs.




They did not even have time to finish baking their bread.
Many people would say that atrocities such as these don't happen any more.
And if they do, they only happen in third world countries, ravaged by war and crisis.

But this hatred exists it exists all around us.

Some might say this type of hatred isn't tolerated anymore.
I could not disagree more.

Just because we might not see hatred, doesn't mean it is not here.


So how do we fight it?

I know it sounds cheesy and cliche...but with love.


With understanding and tolerance we can eliminate the hatred that leads to pain and hurt and devastation.

We can disagree and not hurt one another.
We can be different and not ostracize one another.

It is possible  If we just try.

Mix Tape Monday

So today, the actual mixtape-ness, is really just one song.

But oh well.


One of my favorite women...on my list of people I want to have lunch with is Emma Smith.

Emma was the wife of Joseph Smith, the first prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Throughout her life she suffered much persecution and many trials.
She lost children, she lost homes, and she finally lost her husband to an angry mob.



She impresses me.
She inspires me.


So today, we honor her, with one of my favorite songs.

A Moment To Get Away

As I look back on my life, the times I look back on with the greatest fondness generally focus on a time when I left town.

A time when I got out.
When I left regular life behind and had a little vacation moment.



With the crazy that has been happening in my life lately, I felt like I needed a break.

I had days in a row off, and so I took the middle day and got out of town.

I only really had the day, but I knew exactly where I wanted to go.

Only 3 short hours away and one of my favorite places on earth.



I have always loved this city.

Its an old settlement by the early members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, begun after fleeing Ohio and Missouri, and abandoned with the threat of mobs and further persecution.

There is a special spirit to this town.
The sacrifice of the former residents of this small city on the banks of the Mississippi makes it even more special.


It was a cold and windy day.  10 degrees colder than forecasted.  And when I say windy, I mean-I LITERALLY was blown over into a bench.

I wandered around for a while, visited the Nauvoo temple, and took a walk down Parley street and sat on the bank of the Mississippi.

It was perfect!

The drive there, suddenly I realized I was smiling and I didn't remember when I started, or what started it.

Its been a long time since that happen.
Spontaneous happiness with no clear rhyme or reason.
Its hard to come by.

And thank goodness for Nauvoo for helping me find that.


Like I said-one of my favorite places on earth!



More on my trip to come!!!!!!!!!

Needs...Causing Me Dysfunction

So I posted a few days ago a small small, vague little blurb about the struggles I have been facing lately.

I hesitated to even put that much up (private, personal people shouldn't have blogs hahaha).  But since then I have been pondering what was making me so unhappy.

NEEDS.

Not actual needs like food, sleep, air and social interaction.

But the
Perfect Job...satisfying and rewarding.  Good paying too
Incredible Friendships....the kind where you never fight, share clothes, finish each others sentences
Poem Worthy Romance...right out of the most recent Chick Flick
Pinterest Inspired Apartment/Home
Glamorous Social Life...free of Awkward Uncomfortable Encounters
Beautiful Children...who are both Well-Behaved AND Adorable



Kinda a hefty list right??
Not only is the list long and full of big stuff.
But the requirements of sheer impossibility added in?
I was setting myself up for complete failure and disaster

I was completely and 100% focused on those needs.
I said they were goals I was working towards.  I had a dream...and in my dream it all was possible.
But I let them become more than that.
I began to base the happiness...no contentment I felt on whether or not I was achieving these goals..aka whether or not my needs were being satisfied.

And so I acted.  But my futile attempts to force my impossible needs into fruition created
unhealthy and dysfunctional situations throughout all areas of my life.

How on earth can I be happy when my happiness is focused on the external?
I was setting myself up for failure.  And then the lack of happiness from not having my needs was only compounded on by the fact that I wasn't happy and couldn't figure out why.


Then I wrote that post about happiness on Sunday..and thought of Mara.
(she's my personal life coach along with Sara Barellies!)

Mara writes A Blog About Love and has frequently talked about happiness despite trials.

So I went back and re-read her thoughts on detaching from needs to find happiness.

She says it better than I ever could...
but basically we have to leave behind our desires for the external and search for kindness, compassion, patience.......

Basically we have to become more Christ-like......
We have to leave behind the anger and disappointment that our life is not what we think we need...and discover what our loving God has in store for us.


Is it easy?
NO

Have I messed up since writing this post?
YES


But I'm gonna try.

Will you???



Be Happy Be Healthy




http://www.ablogaboutlove.com/2013/03/the-work-i-did-to-be-happy.html
http://www.ablogaboutlove.com/2013/06/choosing-happiness-sunday-sermon.html#more

Since Its Sunday: Each Life....

There is a hymn that is occasionally sung in our church-each life that touches ours for good.

Lots of people talk about how its a funeral song...and I can see that...but I don't like to think about the sadness of it.

Today I branched out a little bit and talked to some friends who I don't always spend lots of time with.
Its not that I got out of my comfort zone by any means (I'll save doing that for another day!) but I did vary from my routine a little bit.
We had a pot-luck dinner after our services and I sat with a group of friends I wouldn't normally sit with.

And can I please tell you how refreshed and happy it made me!!!!!!!!

There was no real reason I just decided I wanted to mix it up...change the routine.  And it was excellent!

At the table I was at, I was able to chat with two girls who I realized were even more like myself then I realized.


There are so many people in our lives that could become a best friend if we just allowed them into our lives.

And even if they don't become a best bosom buddy who you ask to be your maid of honor, they might be the person you need to talk to that day.

You never know what someone might say to you that might change the way you think about things.....

Each life can touch our lives for good.  If we just let it!

 

Be Happy Be Healthy!

A New Opportunity

So its been a while.

I've been a terrible blogger.

For me blogging has been a way to meet and learn from interesting people...and to navigate the cray life I live.  Its been an outlet for my (limited) creativity that generally has been very rewarding and fun.

But blog-fatigue and bloggers-block are a real thing.And I hit a wall so I took a break to re-group and re-consider.  And right when I was about to totally give up and just stop blogging all together, I got an email.

The email invited me to join a collaboration blog, specifically for Mormon YSAs (if you don't know what I mean check THIS out!)

At first I wasn't sure.  I was done with blogging.  Did I want to get involved with something and make a commitment?
Did this collaboration have the feel and the vibe I wanted to connect my blog with.


And honestly I still don't have the answers to either of those questions.

BUT....I do know that I want to keep blogging and I want to stay excited and interested.

And I think that means throwing myself into it.
Getting really involved in the bog world and making it a happy and fun and exciting place to be for me.



So check out my new second blogosphere home on http://mormonysa.blogspot.com/

And here's hoping y'all will have some fun and interesting posts to read in the next few days, weeks and months!!!!!


Be Happy Be Healthy

A Theory...Since Its Sunday...TWATTSG????

Not sure which one this is actually.

But point is...at the request of my dear Meredith

The difference between being AFRAID and SCARED.


Being in my mid 20s....there are a lot of changes that happen.
Moves, changes in my social scene/climate, new schools, new jobs
ALL sorts of new...and all sorts of unknown.

And sometimes I get really scared.
And thats ok.

Scared means that you care.  If you were apathetic about it....you wouldn't be scared.
And apathy is everyone's worst enemy.

Going out of my comfort zone scares me.  But that means it is probably good for me right?
When you are trying to increase your flexibility there is a little pain associated with the stretching of your muscles.
Good pain...good stretching.  Stretching that helps you grow.


HOWEVER.

Have you ever/known someone who has ever stretched too far.  They weren't prepared and hurt themselves?

Go with me on this analogy ok????

This over-stretching is what we are going to call being afraid. No bueno

Being afraid paralyzes us.  It stops our progress.

At the risk of getting all spiritual...fear is of Satan...and faith is of God right????

Just because you have faith doesn't mean you aren't a little scared.
It just means that you aren't afraid.
It means you trust and believe that the outcome will be what is best for you.

Being afraid means that you fear that the outcome you want won't happen.  And that things won't work out.
Being scared means not knowing which will happen, but being alright with both because you know both will end right........


Does that make any sense???
It does to me at least!

Now before I get too long winded so that you don't want to read this whole post...or any future post EVER....may I make a quick suggestion???

THIS was a broadcast from this evening by a leader in our church specifically for single adults 18-30

He spoke a lot about faith and having faith.  Watch it...it was stellar!  And he says it better than me.

Also...if you are a crier...it got me a little bit-just a warning



Also to learn more about my faith/beliefs...click on the I'm a Mormon" link on the side bar!!!! or just comment haha!

BE HAPPY BE HEALTHY!!!!!

A Lesson In Body Language...Thanks DC

Lets just start with the video...which I preface by saying it is almost 100% accurate and HYSTERICAL.

Following will be my review...so enjoy ;)

ALRIGHT....

Ready for the breakdown??

I'll only go with the falsehoods...cause I could discuss the truths of this ALL DAY LONG!!!!!!

False: Gals DO NOT move their lips subconsciously!!!  Where did you hear that???  Who is spreading such lies!!!!  However, a gal might lick her lips.  That is a fairly universally acceptable signal (but most girls I know don't actually use this one, we just all know about it)

False: The dumb acting.  This isn't actually false, I just want to give a warning.  Don't act too dumb cause then they think you ARE dumb (no way!  I never would have guessed!).  You just want them to help you.  Reaching high things and carrying heavy things tends to be more effective.  Play the weak card.

False: Girls do not push guys they don't like at all.  They avoid touching them at all costs.

False: Diagonal is not that bad.  Usually just means friendship...see previous POST  for more info.

(PS...I've been talking about levels of hugs for YEARS!!!!)

False: The rub???  Does anyone rub???  The pat is no good...that's true...but rubbing seems SUPA weird.  

False: A girl who touches your leg is kinda a tramp??  Not true!!  Leg touching is different from leg grabbing.

Grabbing=trampy  Touching=she likes you...cause that doesn't happen on accident!!!

False: Meat, kissing, explosions and sports....just gotta add that sports in.  

Also men only think they are simple.  To a girl you are crazy complicated!  As evidenced by snuggling for warmth vs snuggling for well...you know.

But in your defense....we are equally complicated.....probably.  If you ask me we just want to be taken out and treated nice.  What's so complicated about that?? (wink wink)

Anyway...Go forth and...try not to get into relationships you don't realize you are in :D

Maybe I should have done a video response to this one...cause I hope everyone catches my sarcasm..and doesn't think I'm at all serious about this ;)

Be Happy Be Healthy!

The World According To THIS Swilly Girl

NEW SERIES  Bloggy people!!!!!!

The World According to THIS Swilly Girl  aka  TWATTSG (pronounced tee-watt-sss-gugh)  (cause that is so much more clear!!!!)

Anyway.  Its not like I don't do this already...isn't that simply the nature of a blog???

But these posts will signify that the below musings and opinions are simply that.....OPINIONS and MUSINGS.  Not fact...not doctrine...not necessarily truth.

Just what I think.  I feel like if I create this series...I won't have to do the whole *disclaimer stuff at the beginnings of posts!


ANYWAYS.....

Lets start with some background.

Background info 1
This past weekend was General Conference.  This is a worldwide broadcast of speeches given by the leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (MORMONS!).  Twice a year for the whole weekend (four 2 hour sessions) we are able to hear messages concerning doctrine, counsel and other important church information.  We believe that these leaders receive direct revelation from God on what they should say and therefore treat the transcripts of these speeches as scripture (just like the Bible)  Its a pretty unheard-of notion in modern-day Christianity and is one of my favorite aspects of my religion.

Background info 2
Our church has a rich history and involvement in missionary work.  We believe strongly in service and in sharing the message of the Gospel with all who will listen.  To facilitate this effort, (single) young men 19-26 are STRONGLY encouraged (never forced of course...but advised and counseled to) spend 2 years serving proselytizing missions.  Single women also serve similar proselytizing missions for 18 months from the age 21 up however, less emphasis is placed on their service (basically they are THRILLED to have sisters serve, but they should not feel any obligation). (Older couples also serve...but lets not get into the nitty-gritty of that).


SOOOOO...this weekend President Thomas S Monson, the current prophet and president of the Church announced a change to the above guidelines.  Young men now serve ages 18-26 and women ages 19 and up.

Now anyone who has Mormon Facebook friends/Twitter....people (what are Twitter people called???) likely saw this change as social networking sites EXPLODED with everyone getting all in a tizzy.

There were not any obviously negative remarks.  Lots of guys feeling like they will have no one to date (so you do admit you are going for the younger ones said bitter 20-something women everywhere!).  And many girls published their plans to bang down their bishops doors.

And I am sorry...shoot me...call me unrighteous...but I could NOT understand what all the fuss was about.  It seemed to me like everyone was making a big deal out of something relatively small.


But then I pondered.  I got off Facebook and focused on what the other speakers had said in regards to the announcement.

They were all grateful.  They thought it was monumental.

A scripture we often quote in our church is
But the word of the Lord was unto them precept upon precept,precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little,and there a little; that they might go
Isaiah 28:13

We believe that this scripture indicates that the Lord teaches us and requires things of us AS WE ARE READY.

This change does not mean that every girl is going to leave at 19.  It does not mean that guys will all leave at 18.  It means that it is now an option.
It means that young men and women will need to pray, counsel with parents and church leaders.  It means that they will need to consider life circumstances, educational plans and financial situations.
And they did this already to a point.
But now the question of when has entered more fully than before.

So I agree with apostles.  I am truly grateful for this change (though still hesitant about what it might mean from a social/family perspective).
Because do you know what it means?  It means that our youth are so strong that their Heavenly Father trusts them enough to give them more choices.  He trusts that they will make the right decision and go about making that decision in the proper way.

And that gives me a lot of confidence.....just saying.