Nursing Funnies: Nurses Week Day 3!!!!

And Finally...the Funniest of ALL!!!!!!!!

Confessions on a Saturday Afternoon

I have discovered
THE
unicorn.


(see this post for a definition)

(also please be assured that this whole post is SUPPOSED to be funny haha)


There have been unicorns I have known in the past.
But this man is THE unicorn!


I wish I could put up a picture-but that might get a little awkward (yikes!)


But seriously this man is a creature not from this world.

Tall, dark, handsome....and when he smiles...oh goodness I'm a puddle on the ground.


He caused a very composed and feet firmly on the ground girl to gawk and practically drool.

And seriously when he sat down next to me-I had to hold onto the seat I was in for fear I would fall off.

And then he was talking to me....and I had to remind myself to breathe!

And then ladies and gents, he touched my knee as he was saying goodbye and I thought for sure I would need someone with ACLS training.
Cause my heart looked like THIS


(ps...its NOT supposed to look like that!)


Get the defibrillator people we've got a Code Blue Cardiac Arrest.


Truly this man is a mystical creature, that I am pretty sure is not real......like for REALS!!!


Anyway...Be Happy Be Healthy....and I will sit here trying to slow my palpating heart ;)

Confessions....UH OH

I should probably take some advice from the ever wise Fat Amy when it comes to posts like this

BUT eh....what'll we lose....its not like I have much dignity left anyway ;) tehehe

HOLD ONTO YOUR HATS peeps!

I speed.....a lot.....and its very bad.....like very bad.......

Lately I have been driving home late on empty highways a lot......and that has led to some serious speeding issues....YIKESS!!!!!!!  Its sooooo easy when NO ONE is on a 4 lane highway for seriously long stretches!

But guess what I discovered???  (I mean I didn't really discover it...I've just never thought of it for city driving)  Ummmmm cruise control people!!!!!!!!!  No tickets for this girl!!!!!!!!!!

I have fallen off the wagon....thanks to this song....

And now I am listening to cranky bitter big-haired blonde country singers again.

Its a serious problem.

But I am rationalizing my failure by assuring myself that just because I listen to such music....I don't have to become a closet bitter blonde country singer!!!

I am EXTREMELY grateful that the messy top knot/bun sit-e-a-tion is acceptable for out of the house events..not just cleaning and doing laundry

Yes this is how I did my hair for my "date" the other night.  STELLAR!!!!!



Be Happy Be Healthy!

Summer Bucket List 2013

Last year I made a final summer in CoMO bucket list....but lets be honest-I didn't get a whole lot done on it....
I kinda underestimated how difficult and time consuming my last semester of nursing school would be.

So we are going to give it another shot.  This year, I will have Little Sister and Partner in Crime to help me out!!

So here's the list-with my colorful commentary of course!!!



-Luke Bryan concert...LITTLE SISTER!!!!!!!!!!  Even city girls want to shake it sometimes :)

-any sort of trip involving water and me breaking in the new SUPA cute tankini I just bought (lake beach, ocean beach, poolside-I'm not picky!)

-double date (likely with boys who we are not romantically interested in at all) with my Partner in Crime at the boat house

-Cards games....many in fact...the more games I go to...the more chances I have to snag me a cute, single professional baseball player wearing those awesome baseball pants...just sayin ;)

-picnics in Forest Park...also several will have to happen

-Zoo trip...lions and tigers and bears-yes please!

-Camping trip...please include s'mores, stargazing and awesome people.  Also lets keep it short cause this city gal can only do the no shower no toilet for more than 24 hours or so!

-The last 3 shows at the Muny..the first 4 are kinda lame

-Day trip to KC...maybe Memorial Day weekend????

-Twelfth Night..June..in the park.....don't knock the nerdy-ness of it.  It would be epic!

-Twilight Tuesdays....free music in Forest Park??  Also on Tuesdays...free music in Faust Park.  Both good options!!!!!

-Blake Shelton concert...would sure be cool...wink wink.....LITTLE SISTER!!!

-A legit blog photo shoot....I have NO good pics of myself to throw up here every so often...and sooooo...a plethora of crazy (hopefully good) pics will be taken to use when needed :)   Little and Baby Sister will be drafted

-Summer sales boys.......enough said wink wink


-Airport...a trip to the airport...which will involve lots of pictures, videos, hugs and tears  :)


And I'm sure there will be more!

It will be a summer to remember!!!!!

And if you are in StL...please...join in :)


Be Happy Be Healthy!!!!

My Name is Stephanie and I Have SWSD

I know this is difficult to take in....so I will let you have a moment to collect yourselves.

Now I am sure you are all very frightened-but education is key to not living in fear.

I have shift work sleep disorder.

There are many difficulties that result from my condition.

These include but are not limited to:

-extreme exhaustion at all times of day, night, or evening

-inability to get out of bed before 10 or 11 AM

-inability to sleep when it is dark outside despite your exhaustion

-the need to sleep with ear plugs and a mask...and sometimes a lamp to pretend its daytime

-an insatiable hunger that begins around 11:30 PM and will not cease until I eat a large meal

-a love hate relationship with the sun....sometimes you feel like it is burning you and sometimes you will want to lay out in it in as little clothing as possible because you miss it so much

(yeah there might be some psychological problems related to this)

And there are not just physical-but there are social implications as well

-being awake when all your friends are sleeping-so there is nothing to do

-always sleeping when your friends are doing things

-when your friends are done with their work days, you are just starting yours

-people judge you for sleeping from 9 AM to 4 PM, going to bed at 11 PM, sleeping till 10 AM and then taking a 3 hour nap.  (yes I had 36 hours off and I slept for 20 of them)

Now I don't want you to be too worried (here is a tissue-you look like you need it)

There is a cure...

Switching to day shift.  Now this might be possible-but its going to take some time and patience.

So until then-treatment includes melatonin, lots of sleeping, and hopefully understanding friends.

I ask for your prayers as I fight this battle.

Thank you for your support

;)

Be Happy Be Healthy!!!!

I Feel So Domestic!

My goodness people...I'm like a regular old Mormon Mom today!

I started my day cleaning the bathrooms at the church building (each congregation takes a turn and my congregation is too small to really get the whole building-so we take turns doing the bathrooms!)

ps.....nurses should not be allowed to clean public bathrooms.  SERIOUSLY people....I used enough disinfectant to kill a large animal....let alone the little germies crawling everywhere.....
Those doorknobs and light switches have NEVER been so clean!
pps.....may or may not have gotten high from the large amount of cleaning chemicals I used......

Then I went to the grocery store.  On a Saturday-generally ill-advised (can we say crowded???)-but it turned out alright.  I only had to stare absent-mindedly at the trashy magazines for a few minutes in the check-out line.

THEN I made a cheesy garlic bread, cinnamon roll-style for the potluck dinner after church tomorrow!   (well I'm kinda still doing that-they are in the oven)
I think they will turn out very well.  They smell good at least!
YEAH for actually using Pinterest recipes!!!!!!

ALSO my lifetime goal has now become to make something that uses flour WITHOUT getting it ALL OVER myself and the kitchen!!!


Next up is getting real dressed (cleaning, grocery shopping and baking with flour do not require real clothes....sweatshirt/t-shirt and nasty jeans will suffice...judge away What Not To Wear!)
Cause I'm headed out tonight to hang out with the gals!
Who needs boys to ask you out on dates anyway?  We will just take ourselves out!!!!!  ;)

And then once I am all cute-I'm gonna make dinner for me and the 'rents.  Baby Sister is out of town for the weekend-so we get to eat like grown-ups instead of picky teenagers!
So another Pinterest recipe for us!!!
Nothing fancy-just a little Garlic Chicken with Broccoli.
I'll let you know how it turns out!!!!

I better be careful!  Too much domesticity and I might just become the type of girl guys will want to marry.

YIKES!!!  I better CUT THIS OUT!!!


Happy Saturday!

Be Happy Be Healthy

SUPA Swilly Saturday

Note to self--apparently all those people who say Baby Brother and I look sooooo much alike were lying because AT LEAST 3 people have asked me if I was dating someone......

No everyone-the boy in my FB profile pic is my BROTHER..eww gross!

Ready for a few other swilly things??

Lets be real-I'm just lazy and tired from work and don't have the energy to put together a real post hahahaha

This is VERY true...DONT JUDGE!!!!!!

SOOOOO think this far more often than I should!

And then I remember why I wear makeup.......

truer words were NEVER spoken.   

SOOOOOO NEED THIS SHIRT!!!!!!
The song stuck in my head today......A little sassy...yep!!!!!!!!


 

Marching On

HAPPY MARCH!!!!!!

It is still snowing outside my window.

THIS IS NOT OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Spring--are you coming????  Cause I am feeling super pastey and my flip flops are feeling neglected.

ITS TIME FOR WARM...and even more than that ITS TIME FOR SUN!!!!!!!


like seriously!!!!


Its my weekend to work---BOOOOOO.
But oh well...thems is the breaks


And so for now...I will dream of THIS

Anybody want a fruity (nonalcoholic of course) colorful drink with a little umbrella????

SERIOUSLY NEEDING SOME COCONUT TANNING OIL!!!!!

Exceptions and Rules

Its no secret that this swilly girl is absolutely and totally IN LOVE with this movie.





And let me tell you...it pretty much is the basis of all romantic decisions I make for myself, and all romantic advice I give.

Dramatic yes.  Ridiculous probably.  

But lets be real.  It hasn't failed me yet!


EXAMPLE:  I have this friend..... And since I'm a nurse...for HIPAA protection, lets call her..hmmmmm Gigi   ;)


Gigi met this guy about a month ago.  She thought he was cute right off...and she climbed the interest level ladder (see THIS post) the more she got to know him.

They went on a first date.  She had a blast.

And then later with her friend Janine (think me haha) go over the "signs" cause they "love signs!"


Now Janine is pretty good with signs, if she does say so herself.  And all the signs point towards the conclusion that boy is into Gigi.




BUT then date two happens.  And Janine and Gigi begin to wonder.  So they watch the movie and pull out the book...and go over the signs.  And well......get empowered.  Cause just cause he isn't doesn't mean no one ever will  

V-DAY!!!!

Alright peeps......

February 14th.....


Its certainly not my favorite day of the year.

But nay-sayers....it is not because I am single and "alone".


Its cause too many people take it to the extremes.


The bitters get all uptight and twisted into knots about "Singles Awareness Day"
They have "Anti-Valentines Day" parties and get all sorts of cranky.


Then there are the gushies.  The ones who are only making a big deal of this day because of the pressure involved, whether from society or their sig-o.  This is the many public declarations, obscenely excessive gifts, and enough cheese to supply an entire third world country with grilled cheese for the rest of their lives!!!!!!!!!!


Which leaves me in a group I like to call the "disillusioned"
The group that feels like we should celebrate with the ones we love on any day...not just a day when society pressures us to.
Thats us.  We are a cool group....and you are welcome to join. We have jackets :)

So that is my problem with this holiday.

(also...flowers die and chocolate makes you sick...who decided these symbolized love?????)


But here is why I LIKE this holiday.

There is an inherent humor in it!  The amount of puns and jokes that can be made alone could make someone love such a silly day!

So to cheer up any of the bitters who might be reading...or to perk up the disillusioned who are just annoyed today :)

Come on...you know you are smiling :)

Happy Valentines Day Blogger Friends!

I truly do love you!!!!

Be Happy and Be Healthy!!!!!!!

A Lesson In Body Language...Thanks DC

Lets just start with the video...which I preface by saying it is almost 100% accurate and HYSTERICAL.

Following will be my review...so enjoy ;)

ALRIGHT....

Ready for the breakdown??

I'll only go with the falsehoods...cause I could discuss the truths of this ALL DAY LONG!!!!!!

False: Gals DO NOT move their lips subconsciously!!!  Where did you hear that???  Who is spreading such lies!!!!  However, a gal might lick her lips.  That is a fairly universally acceptable signal (but most girls I know don't actually use this one, we just all know about it)

False: The dumb acting.  This isn't actually false, I just want to give a warning.  Don't act too dumb cause then they think you ARE dumb (no way!  I never would have guessed!).  You just want them to help you.  Reaching high things and carrying heavy things tends to be more effective.  Play the weak card.

False: Girls do not push guys they don't like at all.  They avoid touching them at all costs.

False: Diagonal is not that bad.  Usually just means friendship...see previous POST  for more info.

(PS...I've been talking about levels of hugs for YEARS!!!!)

False: The rub???  Does anyone rub???  The pat is no good...that's true...but rubbing seems SUPA weird.  

False: A girl who touches your leg is kinda a tramp??  Not true!!  Leg touching is different from leg grabbing.

Grabbing=trampy  Touching=she likes you...cause that doesn't happen on accident!!!

False: Meat, kissing, explosions and sports....just gotta add that sports in.  

Also men only think they are simple.  To a girl you are crazy complicated!  As evidenced by snuggling for warmth vs snuggling for well...you know.

But in your defense....we are equally complicated.....probably.  If you ask me we just want to be taken out and treated nice.  What's so complicated about that?? (wink wink)

Anyway...Go forth and...try not to get into relationships you don't realize you are in :D

Maybe I should have done a video response to this one...cause I hope everyone catches my sarcasm..and doesn't think I'm at all serious about this ;)

Be Happy Be Healthy!

Pinterest-Not Just For Recipes Anymore

Alright ladies (gents if you are on Pinterest...get off....and turn in a man-card!)
We all know that the following statement is 110% true

BUT I have an announcement.  Gone are the days of 100s of recipes you will never try...the simple looking crafts that turn out to be a disaster in actual application....the makeup tips that are more like photoshop tips.

Pinterest is now a place to learn flirting techniques!

Go with me on this one ok???

The other day I get on Pinterest...skimming my friend's pins as usual.  And THIS came up!

      http://www.wikihow.com/Read-Palms

Palm reading eh???  It took 30 minutes to of perfecting my skills to figure out my own life and personality.......

Highlights Include 

~emotional trauma in my love life, (check!) 

~practical thinking, (yep...)

~lots of momentousness decisions, (alright this one might be crap..cause doesn't everyone??) 

~strength and enthusiasm, (true)

~sociable talkative and witty... (just ask anyone!)

~and I have no fate line (hoping that isn't a bad thing!)

ANYWAY...After a few minutes I discovered that this new skill could be VERY beneficial.

think.....

YEP...this could go very well for us ladies......

Of course you would have to go about it sneekily to ensure that you didn't come across as a crazy dittzy gal..."Oh I know how to read palms..can I read yours?  (insert giggle and dumb hair flip here)

NO THANK YOU!!!!

We can do better than that!

We can be slick about it..... 

So ladies get on it!!!!!

Just kidding.  But seriously.....

Be Happy Be Healthy!!!

Confession Friday

So I did this last week-but I had lots of fun with it.  So I'm gonna do it again.



1. I have a drinking problem.  But not the kind you think.  Its water ladies and gents.  Seriously I drink like liters in short periods.  Its concerning and disturbing!

2. My drinking problem leads me to have a container problem. Right through me ladies and gents!  (TMI we know we know!)

3.That one time I dated that one guy...he was totally a rebound.  And the next guy...he was a rebound too.
(does it count as a confession if everyone but you knew/admitted it pretty much as it was going on?)

4. All the new grads got called to come into work last night.  But we all said no...cause we had plans to go to dinner and whine about the terrible parts of our job.  And laugh about all the ridiculous parts!  SORRY!!!!  But we promise to come in another time....maybe.

5. Tonight I specifically planned for errands, laundry, catching up on Grey's Anatomy (yes I watch it-that's a confession in itself!) and then going to bed early.  I am an awesome old lady who loves a Friday night at home!!!!!

So going to bed now!  NIGHT!!!!!



Be Happy Be Healthy!

A Sadly Momentous Day

Its not sad in the "boo-hoo shed a tear" way. But in the "oh that is a little pathetic" way.


Tonight I am going on a date.  For the first time in 14 months.
(don't pity me......)

The last time I went on a date...it was the year 2011.  In fact it was my birthday.  Farm Boy brought me daisies (fave flower!) and made me a cake (yellow with chocolate frosting...FAVE).

(yeah that ended well for me!)

I'm honestly not that broken up about the fact.  I had lived in Columbia for 6 months by that point...and there weren't that many people to date that I hadn't already gone out with or weren't taken or weren't like a younger (occasionally annoying hehe )brother

And there was lots of things going on in my life too (Like ya know...nursing school.....), so I wasn't exactly putting myself out there or even making myself very available!

(Note to self...never try to juggle lots of school with lots of work...doesn't mix well!)

ANYWAY.....

I suppose I should feel out of practice.  But I really don't.
The only thing I do feel....I forgot how much I really hate dating.

Tonight is a blind date of sorts.  A set up by a sweet old lady I know from church.  So it has the potential to be awkward.  WAIT...all dates have the potential to be awkward.


When you don't date for a while-or you date someone for a long time, you forget about the awkward part.  You remember the fun times and the occasional butterflies.  But forget the awkward.


And let me just say...if this date launches me back into the scene....ICK...I guess I am in for lots of AUEs!



Bright side??
Ya'll will get to hear all about 'em!!!!!!


Be Happy Be Healthy!

Confession Friday!

Alright ladies and gents...its confession time (and I know I am technically posting on Sat....but I started it on a Friday...a work Friday)



1. The other morning when the nun came on the intercom and said "Lets join together in prayer" I replied snarkily, "Let's not" SINNER!!!


2. I like the Never Ever Ever song by Taylor Swift....but not the Trouble song. That one is annoying


3. I am obsessed with weddings. Like I need a support group! And pinterest only made it worse. I spend the VAST majority of my time on that addictive site simply looking at the wedding page. TERRIBLE!!!!


 4. I make facial expressions when I type. I'm a very facially expressive person in the first place and apparently I am talking in my head when I type...which means corresponding expressions!
Baby Sister told me the other day she should get a video of it...cause its weird/freaky/embarrassing etc.


 5. When either Katy Perry or Lady Gaga come on the radio...the volume always goes up and my "singing" goes up even louder! whew! glad I got that out! Working at a Catholic supported institution is really getting to me I guess!



 Happy Weekend everyone! Spend time with those you love and have lots of FUN!!!!



 Be Happy Be Healthy

I Could Have Died Today

(20 brownie points goes to the first to place that quote!)

Alright so today was a TERRIBLE day!  Granted the terribleness only lasted for roughly 20 or so minutes...(and the rest of the day was nothing to complain about)...but it was EXTREME TERRIBLENESS!

Jonas almost died.  And then I almost died.

Allow me to paint a picture--

I was driving...the speed limit in fact, because for the first time in a great long while I was on time for church!

Soothing and calm church music was playing nicely in the background.

It was a cold day, overcast, but not dreary.  And my heat (which is disastrously slow to warm up on cold days) was now pumpin nice and hot.

And then ALL OF THE SUDDEN...a DEER darts out on the right side of the road!  Then darts back a little like he is not sure what to do...then runs all the way into the street!  RIGHT in front of me and Jonas

I don't remember much of what happened.  But I was going 35-40 and suddenly I was slamming on my brakes.  (PS...my brakes work VERY VERY well)  Yes ladies and gents I came to a complete stop that defies the laws of physics!  My purse however, did not follow these rules and its contents became flying projectiles on the floor of my front seat (remind me to get a purse with a zipper for any future wildlife encounters)

For some reason at this same moment I looked into my rear-view mirror to see a silver SUV approaching me quickly.  Not sure if they had the same miraculous defying of the laws of nature or just were able to see my brake lights and stop in time.  BUT they did not hit me.  THANK EVERYTHING THAT IS HOLY!!!!!

If they had not I would have likely become a sandwich!  Poor little Jonas is not much bigger than that silly deer (ps...I now have a deep and undying hatred for deer!) and CERTAINLY would not have survived a direct rear-end from a SUV twice his size!

And I would have been smushed right in the middle like some sort of Human Deer Car Sandwich.  Or I could have taken the route of my lip gloss and become a flying projectile out of my front window.
And I've seen Grey's Anatomy-that would not end well for me!


But in all seriousness, it was not that bad.  It was certainly a VERY close call.  And I was incredibly shaken up (darn road with no shoulder-I so badly wanted to pull over and collect myself....or cry-I wasn't sure which at the time.)

So shaken up in fact that when the church music somehow turned itself up to an ear-splitting and far from soothing level I proceeded to YELL at the EFY singer guy to "Shut Up!  I can't handle you right now!"  (Question-does one get sent to you-know-where for yelling at EFY people???)

So...moral of the story...my position on deer hunting has dramatically altered from one of opposition to one of INTENSE favor.  Shoot them all if you would like!  Have all the deer jerky your stomachs can hold!!!!


And as always..Be Happy Be Healthy and watch out for deer!

Best Song Lyrics EVER

This will be an on-going list.....



"And I really do think"  (best used after a serious blonde moment!)


"Hide your crazy and start actin’ like a lady" (best used in...well all situations)


"With frones like these who needs anemones "  (just go with it)


"Eenie Meenie Minee Mo catch a bad chick by her toe" (what the what?)

"Go and tell your white knight that he's handsome in hindsight"  (YEAH...take that!)

"Neva Eva Eva"  (supa creative miss t-swift)

"Single girl swag" (is that a real thing...cause I've got loads of it!)

"I want to put my tender heart in a blender watch it spin around to a beautiful oblivion." (should that song even be legal...GROSS!!!)

Enjoy my enjoyment of the randomness of my musical tastes...these all came up while the whole collection was on shuffle.  Can we say RANDOM????

Be happy be healthy!

Twelve in Twelve

Well I'm writing this at 2:30 PM....since at the actual 12:00 AM I will be partying it up with sick heart patients and the best nurses in town!


Anyway.  Happy New Year everyone.

As is customary....on this blog and others...lets do a year in review!

Twelve exciting things from this year???

(in no particular order except the order in which I thought of them!)


1.
Had lots of INTERESTING adventures with the CoMO clan!!!! And met a great friend at just the right time



2.
Had an epiphany and made one of the best choices I ever made....to be a little selfish and go for happy instead of obligation!



3.
Watched 2 of my best friends get married!  Love them!



4.
GRADUATED NURSING SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  (this should be like all 12!!!!!)



5.
Trip to UT...to see all my fave people (not all pictured in the following picture




6.
RASCAL FLATTS, LITTLE BIG TOWN, ELI YOUNG BAND, and EDENS EDGE!!!!!!!




7.
Little Sister Graduated!



8.
Passed my boards...after 48 straight hours of SOBBING and a month or so of torturous studying

No pic for this one....sorry!


9.
Visit in StL from an old friend.  Supa fun!



10.
Moved back in with the 'rents....not so great.  Free rent, lots of yummy food and free laundry-SO GREAT!



11.
Got a JOB!!!!!!

Also don't have a pic for this one.....its a HIPAA thing :)


12.
I got a great boyfriend.....aka my little Jonas

So that was my year.

Its been fairly eventful...and completely unexciting all at the same time!!!!!!!

Thanks for kickin it with me for another year.  Here's hoping this next one will be great and glorious.


Who knows what could happen!!!!!

Alright We Needs Us Some Funny

Cause for reals this has been a disaster of a day.
Lost phone
A house that lost power 1 or 2 minutes before my alarm clock went off leading me to wake up 30 minutes too late (REALLY!!!!! what are the odds!!!!)
(Other possibilities a malfunctioning alarm clock that turned off instead of alarming...aliens or bad karma)
And class all day.



So some funny for us!!!!!  Enjoy

Source: wanelo.com via Jenevra on Pinterest

Source: everythingfunny.org via Tamara on Pinterest

Source: someecards.com via Tamara on Pinterest

Source: 29.media.tumblr.com via Stephanie on Pinterest

Source: ilovefunnypics.com via Stephanie on Pinterest

Source: weheartit.com via Stephanie on Pinterest

Source: Uploaded by user via Stephanie on Pinterest

Source: someecards.com via Stephanie on Pinterest

Just Had to Share This One.....A Real Post Later

Source: you-dont-know-him-like-i-do.tumblr.com via Becca on Pinterest