"The Starving Children In Africa"

How many times have we been told we should be grateful.

That there are so many people who have it worse than us.


I hate that.  Truly hate that!

Maybe its just the world according to me....but there is no such thing as a "worse" trial.


Everyone has bad things happen to them.  And it doesn't matter if they might be considered by outsiders to be small or huge.  It doesn't even matter if in a few years you, yourself might not consider it to be a big trial.

They are huge and serious to you in this moment.

And they are huge and serious to your loving Heavenly Father.  He worries just as much about the struggling divorcee as He does about parents trying to raise 5 kids under the age of 8.  He is just as concerned for the girl stranded on the side of the road waiting for AAA to arrive as He is for the alcoholic.

Last night I took the time to read a blog I have been meaning to read since a family friend introduced it to me back in March.

What would you do if your husband and the father of your 5 children, the youngest 6 weeks old, was brutally murdered by the husband of his mistress?

Of anyone, this women might be justified in saying her trails were worse than anyone else's.
But what does she say?

Whatever the situation and wherever you have been . . . you have been hurt. You have felt alone. You have been abandoned, either by your parents, your lover, your friends, complete strangers, or even yourself. We have all been at that crossroad where all we have left is ourselves.

Sometimes these moments of lows have brought you to your knees and caused you to reflect and ponder your relationship with God . . . and other times they have made you question if He is even there, or if He knows you are alone. Whatever that moment has been for you, it is personal and real. It has defined and refined who you are, who you think you were, and who you want to become.

(If I wasn't impressed with this women already....guess what...I was FLOORED by this statement)

It is personal and real.

I'm not against squaring your shoulders and counting your blessings.

I'm not saying that gratitude is not an important part of getting through trials.

Both are crucial in survival and are essential for happiness

But I have seen too many people belittle their own feelings.

And worse I have seen too many people lessen and disregard the pain and the hurt of others.

Never think you are better than someone because you think you have hurt more than them.

Never think someone doesn't have a right to feel pain because their trial is small.

And never feel guilty for being hurt.  For struggling with a trial or temptation.

It matters.  You matter.

And so does everyone else.

We all have trails.  We all struggle.

So lets be kind to each other.  And to ourselves.

Also if you want to bawl your eyes out, or hear incredible stories of forgiveness and strength in trials.....

http://www.themomentswestand.com/

Finding Happiness: Vulnerability Also....I'm a NERD

WHY????  Ok...there are many reasons.

First books like this....



are like my favorite books to read!

(PS so totally should blog about both these books....SOOOOO incredible!)



BUT today....its because of this.....
I ADORE TED TALKS

And its not for the inspiring and awesome feelings and stuffs.

I mean those are nice.

But I get crazy about the research!

I love research.  Not actually doing it....I hate that...SOOOO TEDIOUS!!

But reading it???  Using it?????  Having it explain life and those you interact with???

LOVE!!!!!!!!


(Side note....not interested in nursing research....sorry nursing professors but my HUMAN DEVELOPMENT professors got to me first!  And now I'm hooked)



Today I watched this one........oh so interesting!

So to be truly happy....be vulnerable.
Lean into the joy and live whole-heartedly.

I could talk a lot about it...but she does a pretty good job yes?

Be Happy Be Healthy everyone

Why Is It Such A Big Deal???

May I ask a question?

When did going on a first date become such a big deal????

I'll admit I've been super pumped/psyched/moderately stressed when the first date was with someone I had a high level of interest in (see explanation HERE)

But as a general rule, a first date is just that.  A first date.  Someone you know-who you want to get to know better.  At that point you are just acquaintances.

Now may I throw in another twist??

The phenomenon that is LDS singles congregations.  They are like rumor mills on STEROIDS!!!

So many who are part of these bad social experiments (tehehe) choose to keep first dates a secret.

And so I ask again.

Why is it such a big deal????

Who cares if the WHOLE ward is talking about how you went on a date with Susy?

The only thing they are truly saying is that Susy and Bob went on an excursion in an effort to have fun and become better friends.

Now whether or not is going to lead to romantic connections is really no one's business-I'll concede that point.

But why do we have to keep our activities a secret?  If I go out with my girl friend and someone asks me what I did and who I was with, I have no problem telling them.
And I feel the same way if the news I would be sharing involved a date.

Honestly this secrecy just breeds seriousness.  The lies and the avoidance just makes it a bigger deal than it has to be.

I guess I'm just on a simplify/honesty kick lately.

Lets keep things simple.  Lets just be mature and honest.  Lets just not make it a big deal!!!!!



Thats all----go forth and be chill :)


Be Happy Be Healthy!

Mature Adult Conversations

Alright-so you might get a little nervous with this title.

Yikes-what is this girl gonna talk about now????


Don't worry-this is going to remain G-rated.


So once upon a time (ok I admit it...once upon several times) I had this guy I kinda liked.  Alright lets be straight up...I really liked him.
And at the same time as I liked him, we developed a friendship.

(note to self-I need to stop developing crushes on my friends-it always ends...well not so well)


And being me-when it seemed like he didn't like me-I applied the good ol' "He's Just Not That Into Me" principle and stopped making any effort in our relationship (term used in general and broad manner).

Then friendships fizzled and sadness and depression ensued ;)

So I tell you all this as a cautionary tale.

Because I have grown a little (and by a little I mean microscopic growth!) since many of those "incidents"
And I have figured out how to do it best....mostly thanks to some great advice from a great friend

The conversation went something like this (minimal artistic license taken at some moments, as we are not always SUPA eloquent when speaking!!!).

"I miss him!  He's totally disappeared, and I miss my friend"
"Have you talked to him about it?"
"I probably should"
"Yes you should-you need to have a mature adult conversation about how you feel and what you need and what you want"


Oh people if only we followed this advice and more conversations like this!!!!!
Wouldn't our lives be much less complicated?????

I know-easier said than done-but try!!!

Put on some new shoes and turn over a new leaf.  Be strong and confident--adult and mature!!!!

Its refreshing-trust me!!!!

Enjoy some chipper music and......

Be Happy Be Healthy!!!!!

A Theory...Since Its Sunday...TWATTSG????

Not sure which one this is actually.

But point is...at the request of my dear Meredith

The difference between being AFRAID and SCARED.


Being in my mid 20s....there are a lot of changes that happen.
Moves, changes in my social scene/climate, new schools, new jobs
ALL sorts of new...and all sorts of unknown.

And sometimes I get really scared.
And thats ok.

Scared means that you care.  If you were apathetic about it....you wouldn't be scared.
And apathy is everyone's worst enemy.

Going out of my comfort zone scares me.  But that means it is probably good for me right?
When you are trying to increase your flexibility there is a little pain associated with the stretching of your muscles.
Good pain...good stretching.  Stretching that helps you grow.


HOWEVER.

Have you ever/known someone who has ever stretched too far.  They weren't prepared and hurt themselves?

Go with me on this analogy ok????

This over-stretching is what we are going to call being afraid. No bueno

Being afraid paralyzes us.  It stops our progress.

At the risk of getting all spiritual...fear is of Satan...and faith is of God right????

Just because you have faith doesn't mean you aren't a little scared.
It just means that you aren't afraid.
It means you trust and believe that the outcome will be what is best for you.

Being afraid means that you fear that the outcome you want won't happen.  And that things won't work out.
Being scared means not knowing which will happen, but being alright with both because you know both will end right........


Does that make any sense???
It does to me at least!

Now before I get too long winded so that you don't want to read this whole post...or any future post EVER....may I make a quick suggestion???

THIS was a broadcast from this evening by a leader in our church specifically for single adults 18-30

He spoke a lot about faith and having faith.  Watch it...it was stellar!  And he says it better than me.

Also...if you are a crier...it got me a little bit-just a warning



Also to learn more about my faith/beliefs...click on the I'm a Mormon" link on the side bar!!!! or just comment haha!

BE HAPPY BE HEALTHY!!!!!

A Lesson In Body Language...Thanks DC

Lets just start with the video...which I preface by saying it is almost 100% accurate and HYSTERICAL.

Following will be my review...so enjoy ;)

ALRIGHT....

Ready for the breakdown??

I'll only go with the falsehoods...cause I could discuss the truths of this ALL DAY LONG!!!!!!

False: Gals DO NOT move their lips subconsciously!!!  Where did you hear that???  Who is spreading such lies!!!!  However, a gal might lick her lips.  That is a fairly universally acceptable signal (but most girls I know don't actually use this one, we just all know about it)

False: The dumb acting.  This isn't actually false, I just want to give a warning.  Don't act too dumb cause then they think you ARE dumb (no way!  I never would have guessed!).  You just want them to help you.  Reaching high things and carrying heavy things tends to be more effective.  Play the weak card.

False: Girls do not push guys they don't like at all.  They avoid touching them at all costs.

False: Diagonal is not that bad.  Usually just means friendship...see previous POST  for more info.

(PS...I've been talking about levels of hugs for YEARS!!!!)

False: The rub???  Does anyone rub???  The pat is no good...that's true...but rubbing seems SUPA weird.  

False: A girl who touches your leg is kinda a tramp??  Not true!!  Leg touching is different from leg grabbing.

Grabbing=trampy  Touching=she likes you...cause that doesn't happen on accident!!!

False: Meat, kissing, explosions and sports....just gotta add that sports in.  

Also men only think they are simple.  To a girl you are crazy complicated!  As evidenced by snuggling for warmth vs snuggling for well...you know.

But in your defense....we are equally complicated.....probably.  If you ask me we just want to be taken out and treated nice.  What's so complicated about that?? (wink wink)

Anyway...Go forth and...try not to get into relationships you don't realize you are in :D

Maybe I should have done a video response to this one...cause I hope everyone catches my sarcasm..and doesn't think I'm at all serious about this ;)

Be Happy Be Healthy!

Bless All the Dear Children

I have been trying to come up with a good way to approach the recent tragedy in Connecticut.  I feel like I cannot ignore it.  Too many mothers and fathers and friends are missing their sweet little ones this Christmas season to ignore it.

But I have not felt like my words were adequate.  

The depth of the sadness and the grief seems insurmountable. 

So this evening I choose to steal the words of others, who are able to say it so much better than me.  

The first, a clip from a fictional television show.  Though it is not an exact fit...it meets my feelings and expresses them in a way I cannot.

"The streets of heaven are too crowded with angels tonight."

"This is a time for American heroes.  They are our...TEACHERS"

"God bless their memories"

The streets of heaven truly are too crowded with angels tonight. 

But these sweet and beautiful angels are safe now.  They are protected.  

And now my only prayer is not for those who have left us.  I am sure of their peace and comfort.  

My prayer is for those still here.

The mothers and fathers who will have unopened Christmas gifts.

The families who will have one less person at the table.

The children who will have to go through the painful and frightening process of returning to school, with friends and teachers missing.

And so I end with this Christmas carol.  And repeat the words of the final verse

 

Hug those you love extra hard this Christmas season.

And pray for those who cannot.

And as always-Be Happy Be Healthy

Theme Song Thursday: Cry

I use this blog for an place for me to get it all out.
Honest, bare bones.

In real life-reality-I think through what I say.  I process my emotions, and act appropriately.

Here....hahahahahahahahaha...it all hangs out here!
Its the x-rated version of my mind/emotions hahahahahahahahahahaha

So naked moment?
From a little bit ago....I just need to get it out.



They say she looks happy...she seems happy.
Score one for her..cause she is faking it good!!!!

Cause she is pretending like she's ok with it...
like there's nothing wrong.

When they ask...she tells them they grew apart...moved on.
That she doesn't care, that she is fine.
She pretends to not see their stares...sizing her up.
Trying to determine how she feels.
How what the news they just delivered has effected her.
She pretends to not hear the thoughts in their minds, shown so clearly on their faces.

When she sees them together..she closes her eyes,
praying for it to end soon.
Trying to swallow her pride and bite her tongue.
Who would have thought it would be this hard.
She never imagined...
who would have thought it would make her cry.

its not the best quality...but I like the rawness of this version best

Too bad I couldn't fix it.  Too bad I couldn't make it better.
All I could do was watch as the tears flowed down her face, her mascara running,
mixing with the flush of her cheeks and nose.
All I could do was grab the tissues, which gradually went from their place, neatly folded and clean in the box, to a soggy, crumpled pile by her side.
All she could do was sob and occasionally mutter..."I'm such a mess"
No idea what she did wrong.  No idea why things happened the way they did.

But no matter what.  Nothing was going to change it.
There was nothing anyone could do.
No one could put back together the shattered pieces.
No one but her.

And only time would do that.
And even with time....the cracks still are there.

But she hides them well.  Cause no one can really tell.
Good job honey.

I know its hard to hide.  Its hard to