aka...why Steph is a MAJOR NERD!!!!! (I LOVE research/theory books)
And why I will likely never have a normal/relaxed/chill relationship.
Because I will always be analyzing, overthinking, and researching it!!!!
Frankly I don't necessarily want to talk about the discovering if a guy/gal is a jerk.
I wanna talk about RAM....cause I'm a NERD
THIS THEORY IS CRUCIAL to relationships working.
I've been talking about balance for FOREVER. And here we are again!
These 5 areas of a relationship are very bonding individually. However, when balanced and together they form a strong, healthy attachment.
Obviously if you know someone very well, you are close with them...
I know my sisters and my sisters know me better than most people in the world.
Even strangers at baseball games are amazed at how close we are.
How many times on a first date do you tell someone about the one time you made XYZ terrible mistake? Or do you share with the neighbor who just moved in next door your ABC insecurity? Kinda have to trust them with your secrets before you spill them right?
Do you rely on a stranger to bail you out of jail? Do you bring a stranger with you when you go to the hospital for a procedure and need someone to make sure you have all the post-procedure instructions cause you are still a little loopy from the sedation.
Kinda need to know and trust them before that right???
Commitment is a big word. How many people have a "fear" of commitment or "issues" with commitment?
Think about the logic of it at this point...if you commit to someone before you know or trust them....??????? REEally?????
And finally touch. I have to be careful to not get too preachy at this point. So I will take a biological stand.(Transition from nerdy HD to nerdy nurse!) Physical skin to skin touch and contact releases a hormone called oxytocin which creates feels of well-being as well as attachment and connection. This is EXTREMELY bonding. Very powerful and potentially very damaging...if the first 4 are not present.
So there needs to be a balance. You can't have any greater or less than others!