Its a Life Makeover

So I am reading this book.....

Its called the Happiness Project.

Wait....lets start from the beginning.

I won't lie and say my life hasn't been lacking bumps lately.
I'm far from depressed....just unhappy.
Unable to truly appreciate the ordinary days.

And I don't like it!  Its no way to live.
So I decided I needed a change.

So I've talked previously about Mara from A Blog About Love.  She has an incredible method for happiness.
But its a hard one. Its about letting go of needs.  But I've given it a shot..and its hard.
I'm not giving up on Mara's plan.
I'm just trying to be realistic about myself.
I can't at this moment.


I'm a list person.  A goal setting person (not always a goal achieving person but I'm GREAT at making them)

So I've started working on a different method.  A systematic approach to happiness.

Taking small bites.  Every months doing something new to make me happy.
External actions that will cause internal change.

And then...I'll be happy.  And then I can work on the contentment and inner peace part.

Very much looking forward to it.

We are going to reframe, we are going to change.
Redo it all.
A Life Makeover.

My own Happiness Project

How This is All Going to Work.....

So I am trying to turn over a new leaf.

AGAIN I know right?????

I feel like for the past 6 months I am saying that to everyone.
I'm gonna change, things are going to be so different.

New habits, new patterns, breaking hold habits, leaving old patterns.


But I've failed....miserably is likely a dramatic overstatement.

But definitely failed.

So I'm starting a process.....yes again.

But this time I am trying to be smart about it.


Lemme tell you something about myself.  I like completeness.
I HATE more than anything when things are unfinished.
Examples you ask?
     Last month it was buying an entire apartment of furniture in one day so that when I moved in-my home would be complete.
     This month it is getting rid of EVERY piece of clothing I own to get and ENTIRELY new wardrobe.


So I figuratively (and occasionally literally) go for broke.  I try to do it all at once to get it done.

And do you know what usually happens?
I end up realizing I DON'T HAVE MONEY FOR THIS!!!!
Or energy, or time, or skill etc etc etc.

So usually what ends up happening is I just shut down and give up.
And nothing gets done!!!

YIKES!!!!!

So we are going to take a new approach.

We are going to try it one at a time.

We are going to go on a journey.
We are going to take it one day at a time.

Its gonna be different than previous gos.

Its gonna be honest...Its gonna be genuine.
(don't read whiny..just actually real)


You ready?  I most certainly AM!!!!!

Sunset on the Mississippi

A New Opportunity

So its been a while.

I've been a terrible blogger.

For me blogging has been a way to meet and learn from interesting people...and to navigate the cray life I live.  Its been an outlet for my (limited) creativity that generally has been very rewarding and fun.

But blog-fatigue and bloggers-block are a real thing.And I hit a wall so I took a break to re-group and re-consider.  And right when I was about to totally give up and just stop blogging all together, I got an email.

The email invited me to join a collaboration blog, specifically for Mormon YSAs (if you don't know what I mean check THIS out!)

At first I wasn't sure.  I was done with blogging.  Did I want to get involved with something and make a commitment?
Did this collaboration have the feel and the vibe I wanted to connect my blog with.


And honestly I still don't have the answers to either of those questions.

BUT....I do know that I want to keep blogging and I want to stay excited and interested.

And I think that means throwing myself into it.
Getting really involved in the bog world and making it a happy and fun and exciting place to be for me.



So check out my new second blogosphere home on http://mormonysa.blogspot.com/

And here's hoping y'all will have some fun and interesting posts to read in the next few days, weeks and months!!!!!


Be Happy Be Healthy

A New Chapter Begins

So I have the ability now to talk about the reason I have been sooooo dreadfully bad at blogging lately.

Lots has been changing in my life and things are all finalized so I can talk about it.
I've had some very "Smile Because It Happened" moments lately

As you all know...I'm a nurse who has been working in an adult cardiac progressive unit.
But you all also know that my passion has ALWAYS been pediatrics.

I have always wanted to help little kiddos feel better and help their parents understand and cope with the healthy issues their family is experiencing.

After being at my current job for a little over a year I began the pediatric search.  I applied and occasionally interviewed nation wide.  But eventually I was lucky enough to apply and interview for a position here in St Louis, at a children's hospital.  (There is a VERY VERY long story that I might tell sometime but....)

It felt like the perfect job from the start and my interview went very well.  It was a speedy process...set up the interview on Monday, interviewed on Tuesday...AND
WEDNESDAY received an OFFER!!!! (Wish I could have made that more of a surprise.....)

I had pretty much already decided to take it but I took a little time to make sure I looked at all my options.
And the next day I accepted and  I met with my current manger and gave her my 2 weeks notice....because if I didn't I wouldn't be able to start at the new job when they needed me to!


I am truly sad to leave my current position.  I have a deep love for the heart.  I adore and admire all my co-workers.  They have trained me and taught me so much.  They have made me a better nurse and helped me be a better person.  I will hate leaving the comfort of what I know.

But I'm not going to cry about it.  I'm just going to be immensely grateful.

I could not have asked for a better first job as a nurse.  I'm not even close to the same nurse as I was a little over a year ago...and that is all thanks to the mentoring and training I received.


But as Dr Suess says...
Don't Cry Cause Its Over....Smile Because It Happened.

The Bang Debate

Do We Like or Do We Dislike.



For realzees people the debate is ongoing.  Even a month and a trim later.

So lets be real about this.
Initiate Pro/Con List


Pros

Cute look
Different look
Makes it so I don't really have to do my eye-makeup


Cons

ITCHY forehead (oh my gosh)
I've already had to trim, and another is likely just around the corner
The UPKEEP...gotta shower, gotta blow dry.  UGH



Unfortunately.....the pros/cons balance out

So I have no idea what to do!!!
Grow them out...keep them for a while?


VOTE...my hair fate is in your hands!!!!

SARA B...My Personal Life Coach

Like for REALS this woman ABSOLUTELY rocks my world.

Honestly has she ever written a song that didn't speak to me.

I LOVE my religion.  I feel very strongly that there is no place better to find advice than the scriptures...and the words of trusted leaders of my church.

HOWEVER....
Sara Barellies is a close second.


A little bit ago I got to see her live. And it was incredible.  Life altering and amazing etc.

And I could give you a play by play or put up tons of videos and pictures.  But lets just do this.....

Does anybody know how to hold my heart?

Cause I've had my fair share of take care and goodbyes

I've learned how to cry

And I'm better for that

You can't waste the day wishing it'd slow down

There's too many things that I haven't done yet

Too many sunsets I haven't seen

I hate to break it to you, babe 

But I'm not drowning 

There's no one here to save

All my life I've tried

To make everybody happy while I just hurt And hide

Waitin' for someone to tell me it's my turn to decide.

I'm already out of foolproof ideas, so don't ask me how

To get started, it's all uncharted...

Jump start my kaleidoscope heart, 

Love to watch the colors fade,

They may not make sense, 

But they sure as hell made me.

Compare where you are to where you want to be, and you'll get nowhere

I won't go as a passenger, no

I'm taking flame over burning out 

I want to be enough

I want to let the rain come down

Make a brand new ground

I wish I were pretty. I wish I were brave

And if I were fearless Then I'd speak my truth

And I always felt it before

That the world was filled with much more

Than the drowning soul I've learned to be

I just need the rain to remind me

Well, no more, It's not me anymore

You can be amazing You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug

You can be the outcast Or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love

Or you can start speaking up

Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do When they settle ‘neath your skin

Kept on the inside and no sunlight Sometimes a shadow wins

But I wonder what would happen if you

Say what you wanna say And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave

Everybody’s been there, Everybody’s been stared down by the enemy

Fallen for the fear And done some disappearing,

Bow down to the mighty

Don’t run, stop holding your tongue

Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live

Maybe one of these days you can let the light in

Show me how big your brave is

AND FINALLY...

BEST SONG EVER WRITTEN!!!!!

You said, remember that life is not meant to be wasted

We can always be chasing the sun!

My earth is somebody's ceiling,

There's a history through us

Sent to us as a gift from the future, to show us the proof

More than that, it's to dare us to move

And to open our eyes and to learn from the sky

All we can do is try

And live like we're still alive

Keep Smilin' Y'all

Be Happy Be Healthy

Shall We Catch Up???

Got some hot cocoa?  (or coffee or tea or whatever you you drink)
Its a beautiful fall day.  The leaves are turning and there is a crispness in the air.
We just need a light jacket and there are great deck in the back and a porch in the front...take your pick.
(but this shot is the back...so I suggest the deck)

Lets sit...lets chat.

What have you been up to?

Yeah?

No way!!!!!

That is too bad.

That is the greatest!  Way to go!



Oh me?


Well lets do the quick overview yes?
By category and here we go.

Church:
Still going to the singles branch.  All sorts of fun craziness.
Still working in public affairs and greatly enjoying creating a positive image of Mormon YSAs.

Work:
Still working on an adult cardiac unit.
Lots of changes (don't get me started on the new healthcare laws and how they effect me nightly)
As with most change its been a little painful....
But luckily I have INCREDIBLE co-workers who make it easy to smile even when things are rough

School:
YEAH I'm not going!!!  At least not yet...
And probably won't for another little while.

Social:
Oh gosh we don't have time for that.
It's busy.  I have some wonderful beautiful friends who make it so much easier to deal with the crazy.
We stay out too late.  We talk and laugh and always have each other's backs.  Oh I love them!



Its an interesting life.  And that is the long and short of it.


Keep Smilin' Y'all

Be Happy Be Healthy!

Hi Strangers

Oh my goodness blogosphere!

I am sorry I have been absent for so long.

Its a VERY VERY long story that perhaps someday I will tell.

Its a story full of tears and smiles.  A story rich with the pain of rejection, disappointment and discouragement.  But also has sparkling moments of joy, excitement and contentment.

(ok so its not really that dramatic...I just like playing with the words)

But for now lets keep it short and sweet and just say I'm back and this time I'm back to stay!!!

I'll do a little catch-up/back-blogging...but mostly we are just going to start from the here and now.


I hope I haven't lost too many of you to boredom!!!

Stay awhile and lets catch up yes?????



Keep Smilin' Y'all!

Be Happy Be Healthy!


<3 p="" stephanie="">

Its Been a Year!

One year ago today I began working as a nurse...a real big girl fully licensed registered nurse.


It has been a CRAZY year.

Full of amazing patients who have helped me realize why I became a nurse in the first place.
They have made me laugh...they have made be cry.

And occasionally they have irritated me...frustrated me..and stumped me completely!



I have in the past year felt completely stupid.  I have learned that more often than not I know absolutely NOTHING.

There have been moments...few and far between...when I have felt like a real nurse.  I have felt like I actually knew what I was doing.

And so I have hope that someday I might get to the point where I can be like one of those nurses I aspire to be.


It wasn't the perfect job...it wasn't pediatrics.  But it was cardiac.
And it has been a perfect first job.
I have learned sooooo much and had SOOOOOO many experiences.


One year of nursing down...now at least 19 more to go!!!!!!

Busy Busy Dizzy

Seriously!

Between work and family its been crazy.

Big Sister visited.
Baby Brother came home
Little Sister went back to school



I have a list of blog posts already written in my head.
I just have to get them written on ...paper hahaha

Stay tuned for updates.


But for now....
A little musical snack

UGGGHHH 102.4!

Alright peeps.....

Its official

Being sick  SUCKS

I have a new-found sense of empathy for my patients!

I havent been super sick since....at least high school...possibly middle school since I last had a high fever.


I knew Wednesday night I had a little bug  (99.9 and general malaise) but I went to work and pushed through on tylenol and lots of fluids.
It came and went in waves...sometimes I was fine and good.  Other times my coworkers looked at me and said "GO HOME you look miserable!!"

But I was fine.  I went home with the plan to sleep it off and head back to work for my last shift of the week.
I was fever free at the time and slept pretty good.

But then 11ish hit and suddenly I was tossing and turning.  I couldn't get cool....HOT MESS much?

But I kept sleeping cause I knew I needed it for that night.

(at this point you can tell I'm a nurse with student loans...cause yeah going into work no matter what!)

I finally gave up on the sleeping thing around 3 and went downstairs to get the thermometer.
I could kinda go a little cross-eyed and see the numbers change.  But I thought for sure I say a 2....and I was super annoyed cause the thermometer was CLEARLY broken.
My temperature was NOT 92!

But yeah then it started beeping all agitated like....and 102.4 was the final result.
This led to an "Oh crap"..2 phone calls to my charge nurse and nursing services...a dose of tylenol followed by another EXACTLY 4 hours later...kool-aid...milkshake...a fan AND a blanket..

oh what a mess....and oh so not fun!!!!!


try to not get sick everybody....
it may mean its a perfect time to catch up the blog....but
SSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not fun


So stay healthy everyone!!!!!

God Gave Me You.......

My sissies and I have a tradition.....one country music concert a summer.

Last year we hit up Rascal Flatts.

This year?

Blake Shelton!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Such a cool guy!

Plus lets be real-country concerts rock!

We got TEN TIMES CRAZIER FO SHO!!!!

He pulled out the old school cowboy hat....complete with wig for his older stuff!

SOOOOO PERFECT!

He sang a little Usher...YEAH YEAH!!!

But of course followed it with HILL BILLY BONE 

YEEHAW!!!!

(video not loading...sad face!  sorry guys!)

But honestly the best moment was the end.

The rain had held off for most of the night....but as he was doing the encore....it started up.  We had packed up our blanket and bags and had everything in our arms ready to head out after his encore song.

And then he played this extra song.

And me and the two coolest girls in the world linked arms and sang.  

We had a little moment there...and a few tears were shed.....

I'm the luckiest big sister ever!

(PS...I've always been slightly irritated that Blake gets the credit for this one...check out Dave Barnes version.........)

Be Happy Be Healthy

Yes I Will Go With YOU!!!

Best part of living in St Louis

The insanely large amount of FREE stuff to do ALL the TIME.

For example.....
FREE JOSH TURNER CONCERT!!!!!!!

For reals awesome!



I got to go to with some really great friends.
And got to hear some really great music.

What exactly is Harrison looking at????

Poor Dan!

Such a FUN concert!

GORGEOUS!!!

I have such AMAZING friends!!!!!

Do I LOVE him???  YES I DO

#married #kids #whocares!

Be Happy Be Healthy!

IHOP at Midnight???

I have kinda a love hate relationship with summer.

I love it for many many reasons...obviously.

We won't go into all of that!

Why do I hate it???

Cause people go on trips and leave.

This past little while 2 of my really good friends left.....major sadness!!!

It was a hard 4..and 10 days...respectively.

Plus a 3rd friend had family in town and we didn't see him much.

So our group went from 6 to 3.  And though I ADORE the other 2...it always felt like something was missing.

AKA 50% of us!!!

BUT...everyone is back!!!!!!

So to celebrate...an IHOP run was made.

Did we disturb the other 4 people in the IHOP at midnight?

LIKELY

Did we drive our poor waitress nutty?

DEFINITELY

Did we have a good time???

ALWAYS!!!!

Things learned???

Sometimes after midnight the only way to get people to shut up....is to make out with them ;)

Red velvet pancakes are not pancakes....they are just cake

Turkey bacon...no thank you!

Sugar packets in water does not make it taste good.  

Trying to add lemon to it...doesn't help

Be happy Be Healthy peeps!!!!!

I Am Blessed

So as I alluded to on Wednesday in my dear boys....this week had the potential to be really rough for me.

Busy work schedule combined with some "cray cray" life happenings combined with a rotten anniversary.


BUT


This has been a REALLY stellar week.

I have spent a lot of time with friends.  A lot of wonderful times.

I am so blessed with amazing friends.  Like truly!

I already know that I have an amazing set of friends outside of my immediate visiting circle.
My years at college gifted me with the best friends a girl could ask for.


And I always cry a little about how those times are over. (Another inspiration for this blog!)


BUT


As I have been trying to look for the good and find things in my life to smile about...
I have found them in abundance.

(sweet gushy stuff ahead...beware!)

When life has been hard, when things have felt like they were crashing down around me, they have picked me up.
When I have been the DEFINITION of a hot mess, they haven't judged-only comforted me, and then told me I had to get it together!


They have made me smile and laugh.
And oh the memories.

(only a small portion of the cool cats I have been hanging out with lately....but I LOVE this shot!!)

(more pics will be taken in the future for sure!!!)

Be Happy Be Healthy everyone!!!!

My Walk in the Rain

I think my favorite Dr Suess quote could be amended slightly....or perhaps given a variation.

"Don't cry cause its happening"

Life happens.  It rains...sometimes a lot.

Usually you are just standing there minding your own business and the clouds roll in.

But sometimes...you see the rain clouds off in the distance and run right towards them.
And then suddenly you are soaking wet and shivering...and wondering how you got into this mess.


But does it really matter?
You are wet now....can't undo it.
So make the most of it. Let it make you better

Yesterday afternoon I went for a walk.  I needed some perspective on some CRAY CRAY stuff that has been happening lately.
And parks/walks are STELLAR for perspective.  (Like seriously...try it sometime!)


But problem was..the minute I left my house...the skies opened up and dropped an ocean of rain.

But all joking aside....it eventually let up a bit and so I went out....sloshed through puddles and got my perspective.


The grass doesn't grow as green without the rain...

This has probably been the rainiest June on record in good ol' StL.
And the grass and trees have never looked greener.
(PS...is there anything better than that rich forest green of trees??)

And the flowers.  The flowers are loving it.

Wildflowers have a rough hand dealt to them.
They grow where ever they can manage to find an open spot of dirt.
No one takes care of them.  They have to take care of themselves.

But they are strong because of it.  They survive the harsh sun...and relish every gust of wind and downpour of rain.

And so its official.  I love wildflowers...and parks..and walks in the rain with polka dot umbrellas :)

(probably should NOT share this photo since the lighting has me looking PRETTY ghostly!  Paste-y much?)


Also...totally in love with this song.  Its like the perfect soundtrack to my walk

also super obsessed with  THIS and THIS right now...more on that later.  But read them while you listen to this song.  It will blow your mind!!!!

(Congrats for finishing this mammoth long post!!!)

Now be happy and be healthy everyone!!!!

Backroads, Railroad Tracks and Fireflies

Ever had a night that you felt like was really close to perfect?


I've had a few times in my life when I have felt TRULY 100% content and happy.

and last night was one of those times.

I was hesitant to go out-just kinda in a blah.  An "I've worked all week and now I am cranky, tired, and pathetic" mood.  But my friends convinced me....so I went over and we chatted for a while, nothing fancy, nothing big.  And then suddenly....we were in the truck...windows down, music at full blast...heading south.

Now we all know how much I love my town.  The city of St Louis is STELLAR and my little corner of suburbia....AMAHZING.
But drive 45 or so minutes south-and BAM-yo South County...or SoCO as the locals call it....and if you know where to go-some of the best spots in town.


There is still an old railroad that runs right along the Mississippi river and if you go at the right time-you can walk along the track, in total still silence with nothing but the quiet rustle of the trees in the wind and the water  lapping against the shore.

If its a clear night, the stars are tremendous and if you are really lucky- you might see one or two shooting across the sky.  The smell of honeysuckle (aka the official smell of summer around here!) is almost intoxicating while the fireflies dance in the woods looking like a professional fireworks show.

It truly was an incredible night.

And though it is cheesy-this will forever be the song that will remind me of the night we left the crazy and just WERE...

Sometimes life can be lonely.  Sometimes it gets you down and there are hard times.

But also there are somedays when it seems like nothing can go wrong. 

And those days recharge you and make you remember.

If I ever leave this place-I will certainly miss it-but I will always smile at the memories.

Be Happy Be Healthy!

Favorite Things Friday--CHANGE

Alright...lets be real....I usually hate change.


But today..this week....this month...I LOVE IT!!!



Its what I need.


I've been a bit apathetic lately.  Just kinda easy-going and take it as it comes.

And its not been bad.

But now its time to make a change.


We are now going to flip it around.


I'm throwing myself into it now!

Work...church Public Affairs...my blog....my "projects"


Watch out!!!

Yes I am obsessed with this song.  Yes I am late to the party.  But by being late....I won't get annoyed with it as fast as ya'll.  Naner Naner BOO BOO

Be Happy Be Healthy!

Philadelphia

I like this song.

Also I like the.....
2 children's hospitals...nice
1 YSA ward and 2 institutes
The Phillies...i'll still cheer for my cardinals..but at least its a national league team!!!
Cheese-steaks and soft pretzels...well really just soft pretzels
Fairmount park..gorg!  and the biggest in the country
According to Wikipedia...its the 5th most walk-able city in the country

The City of Brotherly Love people!!!!!

pretty right???

Pretty water!!!!!

Its not Busch.....but it would do....

Just thoughts I am batting around...maybe Philly is better then Boston..or D.C.  or NYC.....


Cause as much as I love StL....its time to bounce!!!!!