Thoughts on Faith

So today while sitting bored in Sunday School (I'm sure it was a very great and interesting lesson...I just wasn't really into it...I was super super tired) I was flipping through my little note pad that I keep in my scriptures.

As I was...I came upon some notes/thoughts from a 5th Sunday lesson my bishop gave on faith.

I never really thought about it the way he suggested...there are 2 types of faith:
Faith in what will happen
Faith that causes things to happen that wouldn't normally happen

I think I have the first one.  I have faith that things will happen in my life that are good.
But I think a lot of times we forget the action part of faith.

I mean we all say that faith is an action word...but do we have faith that our action will work?

Kinda backwards sounding right???  But really.  We know that we have to act on our faith.  but do we have faith that that action will work?

Everything is gonna work for our good...and thats a promise!

Grant Me the Wisdom

Ever heard the phrase, dog with a bone?

Yeah well, that can sometimes describe me very well.  I get an idea in my head and I don't let go.

Good right? It means I can get things done.... persevere and all that good stuff.

But every virtue can become a vice right???

YEP!!!

Somethings really are hopeless.  (Not EVERYTHING..just some things....don't worry...no need for suicide watch hahaha)

What is that thing they say at AA meetings???

"God grant us the serenity
to accept the things we cannot change,

courage to change the things we can,
and wisdom to know the difference."

Sometimes you should hang on tight.  Other times it is best to let things slip through your fingers.

Sometimes you have to let go of the hopeless things.  Give up and move on.

In the long run its probably for the best in fact.  Cause if it is not working out....how is that good?

When things fail they leave the door open for the next great thing.

So I am giving up and letting go of something I have been holding onto for too long.  

But I'll be honest.  Doesn't mean I'm happy about it.  

I may be letting go on the outside.  But inside...I'm still holding on.

If there was a song for today......it would be this one........

Favorite Things Friday

So here is my first installment of Favorite Things Fridays!!!!!


This weekend I have had a series of songs on repeat

I started out with this one...over and over again.

Then I added these three!

My family is getting sick of these songs.....But I'M NOT!!!!!!

FAVORITE FAVORITE!!!!!!

What songs are on your "repeat list"

The Compulsory Gratitude Post

Its Thanksgiving and everyone in the blogosphere is writing these moving posts about how they are thankful for life and liberty and love.  Family and friends and all those lovely things.

And don't get me wrong.  I am grateful for all those things too.
But today I am unconventionally grateful.
So I am grateful for.............

-fluffy pillows
-quoting movie lines with my sisters
-caramel apples
-sunny mornings
-brand new tubes of mascara
-new scents at Bath and Body Works
-having trouble knowing what to eat because my parents have so much food!
-the public library
-my Christmas/Thanksgiving wreath
-mittens
-hats for days when I don't want to do my hair
-soft blankets
-SLIPPERS!
-apartment complexes with swimming pools
-sunscreen....and aloe vera for when I forget to put sunscreen on
-Redken Heat Protectant (seriously I can't live without this stuff!!!!)
-Hulu--so I can keep up with my shows on my own schedule
-Disney movies
-bright colorful scarves
-eye-shadow palates that come with hundreds of colors :)
-those silent snowy nights
-being able to put my hair up with just a pencil :)
-big earrings
-SALES
-CHOCOLATE

50/50 Shot

So I prolly wont write everyday like this once school starts back up again.  But right now I have plenty of time and lots to talk about so......I will write.

I feel like I need a song.  the songs were my crutch so to speak.

They let me say what I wanted to say without the words actually coming from me.

It was a little safer.  This is a little more vulnerable.

I don't like being vulnerable.  I mean I guess no one really does.....so I 'm no different from anyone else haha

Its hard to put yourself out there.  Its hard to say here I am...take it or leave it.

Cause lets be honest...you've got a 50/50 shot of getting totally rejected!

And so we as humans are scared.  And cautious.

But sometimes you forget you are supposed to be cautious. So you throw yourself out there.  And again....you've got the 50/50 shot.  

Will you Sink or Swim??

A Song For a Tuesday

So I know its not Theme Song Thursday....but I have been listening to this song ALL DAY LONG!!!!!
Like seriously we are on like repeat number 20 or something like that!

Plus today is transition day and I am missing my music blog.  So here's a little methadone to treat our withdrawal :)

You've heard this song before I'm sure.  Bonnie Tyler did it originally. And then the Fairy Godmother from Shrek sang it.

But you've never heard it like this have you?

I don't know what it is about it.  Its such a pretty arrangement. And for some reason its speaking to me today.

I'm having trouble finding a way to talk about this song that isn't hopelessly romantic and pathetic haha.  Cause thats not me.
So lets try this angle.

Lately SEVERAL people have been asking me why I am not married.
(Honestly the next person who asks me is likely going to get an explosion of pent up frustration stemming merely from the constant asking of this question)
And the honest answer?  Cause I haven't found him yet.  Not my soulmate.
(the idea that you will be doomed to a life of unhappiness if the stars don't align in your favor doesn't sit well with me)
But my...wait for it...hero??
(pausing to allow you time to turn away from your computer...vomit in the keyboard is just not pretty.)

I do believe (or more accurately hope.....) that someday I am going to meet someone who is gonna save me...well, from myself!  Someone who is not perfect...but is perfect for me.
(Again I will allow you a moment to gag)
And until then...I am going to wait.  I'm on the "get kicked out of the Singles Branch....31 or BUST" plan.
I'm holding out.  Until I find the right one, I am not going to jump in.
And if that takes forever...well then it takes forever  :)


also...just a thought....this would make an AMAZING cabaret/lyrical number!!!!
Totally choreographing it in my head!!

The Theory of the Hug

So ready for this?

Hugs have 5 levels....

Level 1---"The Guy Hug"
              This occurs between guys only.  Clasped hands are in the middle to limit touching.  And backs are merely patted.


Level 2--- "The Side Hug"
              You do not want this one at the end of a date!  Ouch!!!  This is a clear signal of NO ROMANTIC             feelings!  However this is also a perfectly acceptable hug for when it would be weird to give someone a full on hug.

Level 2.5--- "The Even Hug"
                  This hug is usually the one you give relatives and the person you just met, but you feel comfortable enough breaking the touch barrier.  Someone goes over and someone goes under...but you are both pretty much in the shoulder region.  So you are very evenly matched.

Level 3--- "The Cross Arms Hug"
              This hug involves each person reaching over one shoulder and under one arm...creating an X like formation.  This one can lead to awkward "ummm where are we putting our hands" moments.  But they can work out ok.  These hugs usually mean friendship.  Generally new, trying to get to know each other better....

Level 4--- "Comfort Hug"
               This hug involves the gentleman going over (shoulders or mid arm) and the girl going under (waist or chest).  This indicates high comfort and good friendship....or it means you have been together for FOREVER!  This hug is most comforting for a girl in distress.  It is very protecting.  This is likely my favorite hug.


Level 5--- "Optimal Hug"
               This hug means the girl goes over (shoulders or neck) and the guy goes under (waist).  This is obviously optimal because it can lend itself very well to a nice little kiss ;)  This is a commitment hug.  Also warning guys.  This leaves the girl very vulnerable....so be careful. And don't be offended if she isn't super excited to initiate such a step.

 Your life has now been transformed.  Now go forth and HUG!!!!

Blogosphere...DISCUSS!!!

Hello!

Look its all different!
I finally decided I would give some TLC to this blog.  Likes????
Anything you vote for changing?????

Two more days and I am over here exclusively.

Get ready for more pictures, rants, updates and theories, Dear Boys, What Do You Think Wednesdays, Favorite Fridays, Movie Mondays, Theme Song Thursdays.


Anything you want to hear about????

Ignored

I think I might be overreacting.
Probably am.....but I am going to rant about it anyway.....more like whine since rant implies anger...and I'm just sad........
cause its late..and I'm tired...and I haven't cried in like 3 weeks.......
(very VERY rare for me)

There are few people in my life who are kinda ignoring me.  I thought there was something there.  But I guess I was wrong???

One friend is really busy....so maybe thats why he never texts back.  But he made a 2 hour drive a few weeks back.  So doesn't that warrant a text or two??  Or maybe even a phone call.  Gosh... it would be so nice to get a phone call....  I wish you would show up on my door step....but beggars can't be choosers.

Another friend is hurting.  He doesn't want to talk about it.  And I can understand that.  But I don't want to talk about it if you don't want to....  Can I tell you about my day?  Can you tell me stupid jokes?  I know the good friend would give you space.  But maybe I'm not that friend.  Maybe I just want to be selfish for a minute and talk to my friend.  The guy who used to always cheer me up.  And leave me with the goofiest smile on my face

Then there's the one who is ignoring me for the new girlfriend.  Oh well.  Not much I can do to change that.  And I can't resent it too much cause you are so happy.  But...now my truest bestest friend is gone.  No more walks...no more long phone chats.


I wonder what is really going on.  Cause I don't know the whole story.  I wish I did...then I wouldn't be hurt.  But since ya'll wont talk to me I can't find out!  (ok so that was a rant moment!)

Hopefully this is not too much of a Debby Downer post.....but oh well
I promise my next one will happen during the day.  When I am much more chipper!  haha!

Dear Boys Linky Party: The Sequel

Linky Party Fun-ness
Check out Elise's Blog

Dear Yummy
You are really going to try and pretend that you don't realize every girl with eyes that walks past you has a minor coronary.  For reals??? You are THE most yummy one in our group...accept it my love.
Also your hair is very soft...what conditioner do you use??
Love
Your New Friend (ps very happy about this fact)


Dear Drama King
Honey you need to get control of your horses....everything is not either the apocalypse or the millennium.  There is such a thing as the middle ground.  I think if you find it...you will be much happier.
Love
Mama


Dear Missionary
Thank you for making the right choice!!!!  I am so proud!!!!  My fingers are crossed for you that it will all work out like it is supposed to.
Love
Mama Steph


Dear Clark Kent
Ah well isn't this an interesting situation.  Timing kinda bites doesn't it?  Oh well....I'll always be around with a smile and a hug if you promise to always make me laugh and keep your end of the deal we made.
Love
Suzy


Dear Mean Kid
I am trying here..and you are not really making an effort at all.  You were mean..and I let everyone tell me it was uncharacteristic of you.  Yeah...you are still being mean.  And still being rude.  You are still making jabs.  Maybe I am over-reacting.  But please stop.  Haven't you damaged me enough???
Love
Wounded


Dear Chicken Boy
You are prolly counting down.  I am......you have 12 days.  Good luck with your new life...and new wife.
I know I should have given you up a long time ago.  But you were my first love.  So I'm not sure I'll ever be truly over you.
Love
Nostalgic Girl


Dear Annoying Little Brother
A NEW ONE!!!!  REALLY????  Trying to figure out who you are dating is like trying to cure the disease of stupidity.  IMPOSSIBLE!!!  You confuse me.  The amount of girls who can tolerate you confuses me.  I mean yeah...you could be seen as attractive by someone other than me.  But really????
Love
Confused and Annoyed


Dear Smarty Pants
I am gonna WHUP you in WWF....How do you like THEM apples!!!!!!!
Love
Smarter Girl


Dear Writer
You were NOT worth my charm.  You are a little full of yourself and kinda...what is the best way to put this....and intellectual snob.  But you have been nicer to me as of late...so I won't close the door on our friendship.  We'll see.
Love
Cautiously Optimistic

Dear Hater
Stop hatin.  I will do as I please thank you and I don't need to hear your opinion.  When I graduate I will move to where I want to.  So suck it!!!!!
Love
Provo Lover



Dear Weekend Boy
I am not a fan of this arrangement.  I already hate Sunday nights...and you make it worse.
I realize this is a little extreme and perhaps a little pathetic...but
Also...I believe I am being ignored for a novel...not sure how I feel about that fact...
Love
Missing You

GET READY!!!!

Hello ladies and gentleman

Be looking for changes!!!!  CHA CHA CHANGES

I currently have a second blog...my-lyrical-life...that is a 365 day song of the day deal
Since we are in the 350s with that one....and its hard to go every every day....
I will be transitioning exclusively to this guy :)
Which means its going to need to get  A LOT MORE EXCITING.....
So stay tuned for.. shenanigans!!!!

Also PLEASE FOLLOW!!!!
I really want to get at least 50 followers...just for my personal self esteem.
So tell your friends...tell your moms...tell your dogs.....and tell them to follow!!!!!!


(yes this is a pathetic plea for followers..and yes it is very uncool...but I will stoop to that level...)

Dear Boys Linky Party

I LOVE Elise's Pieces!!!!
I'll be honest I am a serious blog stalker!!!

But anyway she does this series..."dear boys"
And since I will likely be transitioning to this blog permanently in a couple of months...I thought I would do a little dear boys here today!
Enjoy!!!

Dear boys.......

Dear Clock Boy

Its not time.  I know that you feel kinda alone right now. But its not time.  Not for us...and not for anybody.  Give it a bit..you'll be ok

Love Steph

Dear Crush Boy

You have one of these all the time.  You really should try to get out of that pattern.  You don't like me you like the idea of me....promise!  Take a step back and realize you want me to be your friend...not your girlfriend.  Seriously...I make a terrible GF...but I can pull of a fairly decent friend.

Love Steph

Dear Freaked out Boy

Told you!  Why do you think I was so cautious?  Cause I knew this would happen!  Well that is fine.  I can roll with the punches you throw.  Or more accurately DON'T throw!!!

Love Steph

Dear Clark Kent

Ummmmm this whole thing makes me nervous.  I can't decide if you are kryptonite or Superman.  NERVOUS!!!

Love Steph

Weeks 3 and 4----Just the Status Quo

Hello Ladies and Gents

Ready for another update??  Not a million things to report but a few here and there :)

Kinda in a great holding pattern.  Crazy busy and hard.........but kinda the same old same old.
But I'm not complaining about the status quo...lets keep it there!
I don't wanna carry anything else!  So lets keep it all the same!

I got to go home for the long Labor Day weekend which was GREAT!!!!
It started with a great trip to the temple with my Singles Branch here in Columbia.  I got to drive down with them and then stay with the fam.  Its always great to be with them.  It was nice to chill and get my head back on straight again.

Week 3 brought our first interactions with Med/Surg clinicals.  Only skills labs and shadowing....but still crazy!
Took a HUGE test in Med Surg and did not do as well as I would have hoped.  But it just motivates me to study even harder for the next one!

Had a fun date Friday night..if you wanna hear more about that...check this out ;)
http://my-lyrical-life.blogspot.com/2011/09/day-292-lost.html

BYU vs Texas was a heart breaker game...making me wish I was back in Provo...but it was fun to watch it with my new friends here in Columbia.

I have gotten into work a little more now.  I am past the training part and get to play a little bit of detective looking for the information I need to catalog so I am enjoying it a lot more.  Having a pile of work to get through also really helps the time go by MUCH faster!

I've really been able to get involved in the Branch and all the activities we have.  Between Sunday night dinners, Linger Longers, FHE, Institute and weekend activities I am really making some great friendships.
I was super spoiled in Provo with the 92nd ward.  And they will never be beat.  But the Columbia YSA Branch is a great second place!  There are AMAZING girls...and really GREAT guys.  LOVE THEM!  Also...4 dates so far....way to go YSA!!!!!!!

Week four was pretty calm...since it was an off week for Med/Surg.  Had OB clinicals Monday.  Still LOVE that specialty.  Might be my plan!
Took my first Pediatric exam and did alright.  I am slightly disappointed by this class.  I was really looking forward to it being amazing but turns out it is just alright.  Not bad.....just not magnificent.  Makes me wonder about my life long plans!!  EEK!  haha

Like I said not much to report.  But hope you all are well and lovin life too!

Love and kisses!
Steph

Weeks 1 and 2----Fall 2011 Begins

So school has begun again!  It has not been easy to adjust to not being on break anymore...but I am surviving.

The first week left me pretty crazy and overwhelmed...as most first weeks do.  It always seems like there are a million things that need to get done and that you will need to do....and NOT ENOUGH TIME or brain capacity to do it.  Clinicals, exams, outside shadowing, etc.

The worst part of this program is that they don't have a very organized system.  After we started the program they put us in all these outside classes and require us to do all this outside work that they did not inform us of before we started the semester, let alone the program.  There are even things they spring on us the week or day of.  It can get REALLY frustrating.  But this is how it was over the summer too.  And so we have learned to just roll with the punches.  Cause there is nothing we can really do about it.  So we just learn to deal.

I have a pretty crazy schedule these days.  I either have a LOT of free time...or no free time at all.  Because of this...in order to get a bit of motivation on weeks when I have three days of no classes...but tons to do...I have gotten myself a job.

I'm not a huge fan of it.  It pays dirt and is really difficult to fit into my crazy schedule.  But at least it gives me something to do on empty days.  I work at the library cataloging...which is similar to my old job at the BYU library so that is nice I guess.  But its not the BYU library...so I am a little bitter about it.

Classes are difficult to attend since they are only ever Thursdays and Fridays.  It makes it hard to jump back into 4-6 hour lectures after 3 days off...or 3 days of clinicals.

I am currently enrolled in Pediatrics, Nursing of the Childbearing Family (OB) and Nursing of Adults (Med/Surg).  I also am in a terrible class called Psychosocial Issues in Nursing.

Momentary rant about this class.....it is a PRE-NURSING course...that the powers that be decided we had to take.  This was not decided until right before classes started this fall.  If we had taken it at the beginning of the program, maybe we would have appreciated it more.  But at this point it is simple common sense things that we have already covered in other nursing classes.  And to top it all off....we are in this class with  PRE-NURSING students.  Think about it......Accelerated students....all with one, many with more that one, previous degrees and who are a third of the way through with their program, mixed in with college FRESHMAN who are simply investigating a nursing degree!!!  Not beneficial for either group!  We terrify the little ones who are 5-10 years younger than us...and they drive us COMPLETELY crazy.  Alright...rant done!

On a more cheerful note........I LOVE OB!!!!!!!!
This week I was able to do a rotation on the post-partum floor.  This includes mothers who have just delivered as well as the well-baby nursery.  AND I LOVED IT!!!!!  Everyone there is healthy and happy.  It is a slower paced floor so you actually have time to talk with your patients and chart!  NOVEL!!!  I also really like the other nurses on the floor.  They are really great teachers....as they have to be since their primary role is teaching new mothers.  So someday who knows....I may end up on a PP/OB floor!

Montana Trip

So my 3 week vacation along with time in Utah and St Louis included a weekend in one of the most BEAUTIFUL places on EARTH!!!!!!! 

Southeastern Montana

The friends I had planned on hanging out with while I was in Utah ended up taking a trip up to Montana (my friend Maddie's family has a cabin up there) while I was there.  When I found out they were going I was super bummed cause it meant I would get much less time with them.  But then because they are the awesome people that they are..they totally out of the blue invited me!  Seriously these guys are the salt of the earth!  I'm not really a part of their group anymore because of the simple fact of my moving..but they welcomed me back with open arms as if I had never left!

We left Friday night about an hour later than planned....and found out on the way that we were headed for a completely closed highway and frontage road (HUGE ACCIDENT!!!)  So we were forced to take a different route...and therefore add an extra 2 hours to the trip.  But better than 6 extra hours right??

I was in one of the cooler cars of course ;)  Lots of chatting, teasing, and game playing happened on the way up.  And we finally got there around 1 in the morning!

But of course we couldn't go straight to bed...we had to play with huckleberry and the swing!!!!

Eventually we finally went to bed...but not before me and Kelsi planned to get out to the lake by 7 am to catch the last of the fog on the lake (we wanted to see the sunrise....but that just didn't seem practical haha)

It was one of the PRETTIEST MORNINGS EVER...seriously!!!!  

That day we spent on the lake boating and hanging out.  I spent the whole morning lying in the sun dozing in and out on the dock.  It was the BEST!!!!!  Just being able to talk to my friends and spend time with them doing fun things in such a beautiful place....BEST!!!!

That night we got all "cleaned up" and headed to the Mountain Man Rendevous.  Ok seriously cool place!!!

Best part was Mad Jack....we had some pretty awesome jam sessions with him!

That night we had a great bonfire and just hung out.  Games..and of course lots of singing!

The next day was Sunday...and we managed to get all 22 of us to church on time!!!!!!  AWESOME!!!!  And we all got seats together and in the chapel.  The West Yellowstone ward is so full in the summers they have overflow in the Relief Society room!  And the sacrament took literally 45 minutes.  It was the best!  You got to really sit and think.  And it was so great!

After church we all drove into Yellowstone national park to see the sights. 

Joe literally fell over cause someone pushed him....so that is a real look of concern from me and Rachel 

we were instructed to do something with our hands haha

That night we came back...took a little nap and started making dinner.  Then suddenly somehow we realized the sunset was AMAZING!  

So we all headed out to the dock....and seriously got almost eaten alive by mosquitoes....but no matter.  We were all together looking at the most amazing view.  None of us cared to much as we watched the moon rise over the lake.

3 things I learned this trip......1. 22 people eat  A LOT OF FOOD  2. 22 people take FOREVER to get anywhere!  3. 22 people CANNOT make a decision!!!!

The next morning was kinda cloudy and cool...but we went out on the boat a little and went across the lake to play some volleyball.

Our 6 sets of siblings.....cool eh??

Unfortunately, that afternoon we had to leave.  Luckily I got to ride back with my FAVORITE Lauren...and we chatted and had fun for the whole way!!!!

Even with the great ride back I was NOT happy about leaving.  It had been a very hard couple of months and I had missed my friends all so much.  I didn't even realize how much they meant to me until I went back.  They truly are my family.  The kindest and best people I have ever known!

I found happiness in Montana.  It had be a long time since I truly was happy.  I had almost forgotten what it was like.  Thank goodness I had this trip to remind me!

Montana will always hold a special place in my heart!