My Journey to Mizzou--Part 3 The Decision

So it has been a while since I wrote parts one and two...so I am finally getting around to writing part three!

The decision process began in January.  I got back from winter break to find a letter from BJC Goldfarb School of Nursing.  THEY WANTED ME!!!!!!  Though they were probably at the bottom of my list, I was grateful to just have one option.  At that point I knew my dream had an opportunity to come true.

A few weeks later I heard from MGH Institute of Health Professions.  They wanted me TOO!!!!!!!  It was crazy!  Then I heard from UM Sinclair School of Nursing...who also had accepted me!  It WAS INSANE!  I truly did not think that I would be three for three.  I still had one more though.

After the ups of hearing from the 3 other schools...a few downs got thrown in.  Middle of January I got an email from Johns Hopkins informing me that several parts of my application were missing.  Cue freak out moment!  Lots of phone calls and emails were sent.  And though it took a while to get a new letter of recommendation and make BYU resend my transcript...finally everything was set.

But obviously Johsn Hopkins was not close to making a decision.  But MGH had to know....and they had to know now!  I had been doing a lot of pro con lists and investigating.  I had been talking with institute directors, people who lived there, academic advisers, friends, and family trying to get all the information and advice that I could.

I took MGH off the list first.  I was stressed beyond belief about having to decide about Boston before I knew about Baltimore.  Though there were lots of pros to living and going to school in Boston, it didn't feel right.  In fact it felt terrible.  Once I chose to not go there I felt so much peace and calm.

Finally I heard from Johns Hopkins.  I was sitting in the testing center...taking a test of course.  When I felt my  phone vibrating at my feet.  I of course couldn't pick up....but when I got out of the test I immediately checked my messages.  And on my phone was one of the BEST messages I have ever gotten.  It was an adviser from Johns Hopkins School of Nursing calling to congratulate me on my application which was..her words not mine....a pleasure to read.  And despite the high level of competition....I HAD BEEN ACCEPTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously this was my DREAM COME TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But now I had to make a decision!  Which school was I going to go to???
I had sent in deposits to both Missouri schools just to make sure I had a spot somewhere!

But I had to pick which I would go to.  I pushed the St Louis school off the list....because I wanted more of an adventure then the bedroom I have lived in for 14 years!  Although it was tempting as it was VERY safe!

So it was down to Missouri and Johns Hopkins.  They were very alike.  The pro/con lists were very even which made it super hard.  Their price tags were QUITE different.  TONS of prayers were said.  TONS of tearful phone calls were made to my mom.  Every time I went to the temple...this was the question in my mind.

Johns Hopkins was my dream.  But it would come with a hefty price.  Missouri was the LAST on my list.  But it was still a very good school.

My sweet roommate Andrea summed it up best-----"Which is your dream...to go to Johns Hopkins or to be a nurse?"

I want to save lives...not just physically but emotionally.  I want to be that nurse who holds mom's hand as her child goes into surgery.  I want to be the nurse who comforts the child when mom has to leave for work.  I want to be the nurse who everyone wants cause it doesn't hurt as much when she gives you a shot.  I want to be the nurse who makes every cancer and NICU patient she has, has a little hat to keep them warm.  That is the dream....that is the real dream.

And so I decided...Mizzou here I come!

My Journey to Mizzou---Part 2 Application Time

Let me just tell you..there are at least 100 ABSN programs in the country. And while that may not seem like a lot and when compared to the number of nursing programs in general there are....you are right...not very many. But when you have 100 choices of what to do with your future....it is pretty overwhelming.

But its me...so I made a list. I ended up with about 60 schools...mostly based on places I wanted to live. AKA..schools on the east coast....in Missouri, Utah, California or Alabama...in a big city...or some place warm. The southwest, most of the Midwest, Texas and anything north and west of Missouri were out of the running. From this list...I again whittled it down to about 14ish....this was done again pretty indiscriminately mostly focusing on location again. Closeness to home and/or family as well as proximity to a beach also played a pretty big role in this process.

From the list of about 14, I made a spreadsheet. There were columns for institute size, start times, lengths, prerequisites needed, costs, distance from home/family and then overall pros and cons. This was one INTENSE spreadsheet. I spent hours collecting information.  At this point I became an octopus...on the other hand, on the other hand, on the other hand....till I had at least 10 hands (guess that makes me a squid??)

After a great deal of weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth (I actually had no idea it would only get worse!) I chose 5 schools.  University of Missouri (Mizzou), University of Utah (the U), Johns Hopkins (JHSON), Massachusetts General Hospital Insititue of Health Professions (MGH) and Goldfarb School of Nursing (GF).

Each had pros and cons.  JHSON was my DREAM!  MGH would be awesome cause I would live in Boston.  GF is in St Louis so I would get to be in the BEST place on earth with the BEST people on earth.  The U would mean I got to stay in Utah with some pretty awesome people.  Then there was Mizzou---I needed a 2.9 GPA to get in....basically and honestly it was on the list only in case everyone else said no.

So I applied.  SERIOUSLY ANNOYING PROCESS!!!!!!   None of the schools had the same requirements for essays or recommendations or even deadlines!  Juggling it all was difficult.  Recommendations are really hard to get let me just say.  It means sucking up and awkwardly asking people to write nice things about you...not cool.  And essays are hard to write and I had to write in a different way for each school.  Again sucking up.  Lets be honest...the application process is just a long series of sucking up!

 Anyway so I got all the applications in.  Except for the U.  That one had the latest date.  And for some reason I wasn't feeling it.  In the end I decided to not apply because I just didn't think it was where I should be. Although I am slightly regretting that decision as my time to leave Provo is drawing near.....I'm not wanting to LEAVE!  But anyway...Everything was in and I was just waiting for the letters......now comes the WORST part :)

My Journey to Mizzou...Part 1 The Beginnings

Well ladies and gentleman of the blogging world. It is official. I will be attending the Sinclair School of Nursing at University of Missouri in Columbia, Missouri beginning this May and graduating with a Bachelors of Science in Nursing the following summer. I am really excited to be moving into the next chapter of my life....but before I do, it has been requested that I tell the story...from the beginning. So here we go!

It all began on a chilly afternoon in November..the year 1988...the place...Falls Church, VA.......wait not that beginning??? ok well then lets fast-forward. But actually not too much. Just to middle childhood I guess (child dev speak for 4-7). This was when I came to the knowledge and understanding that my grandma was a nurse. I loved to play hospital with her whenever she visited and was a nurse for Halloween several times. Even back then I thought being a nurse would be really cool. But then again I also thought high side ponytails (think Deb from Napoleon Dynamite) were cool.
Fast forward some more to the year 2003....freshman honors English with Mrs Fischer (awesome teacher btw) Our research paper that year was supposed to be about the career we wanted to pursue. I of course chose nursing, specifically pediatric oncology nursing. Chose not because I was firm in my thoughts, but definitely interested. Through this paper I came to the decision that I really wanted to be a nurse.
Fast forward a bit to my decision of where to go to college after graduation. I chose Brigham Young University, not only for the environment it would provide and the low-cost of tuition, but also for the fact that the nursing program had a fairly high reputation.

So I came out to Provo. All through freshman year I prepared to apply to the nursing program. I was really really excited to be able to study nursing with a perspective of the Gospel. The classes were hard, but I was ok with working hard. I took a 100 level class called a Preview of Nursing. This class solidified my career choice. Every week in that class, I felt sooooo strongly that I needed to become a nurse, I was often brought to tears (not saying a whole bunch seeing as I am a serious cry-baby!). But I knew this was what I needed to do.
I spent the next couple of semesters preparing and applied in Fall 2008. The email informing me that I was denied acceptance was one of the worst I have ever received all my work was for nothing. My dream seemed over.

However in the preview class I talked about earlier, my teacher mentioned that the University of Utah had an Accelerated Bachelors Program. Basically, you get a Bachelors in ANY field, and the in 12-18 months you graduate with a second Bachelors degree in nursing. (for future reference...I will call this ABSN-accelerated bachelors of science in nursing) I began at this point to investigate with these types of programs.

I also chose a different major at this time. I selected Human Development. My second semester as a freshman I was taking Physiology and Bio-Organic Chemistry, both 4 credits. I also played A LOT...till very late/early times ;) However, I NEVER missed my 8 o'clock Child Development class and got a solid A. This was kinda a sign for me...and it was the best decision I EVER made!

We'll Never Fredette----Thanks for the Emerys

DREAM TEAM 2010-2011

FAVORITE MEMORIES OF THE BEST BASKETBALL SEASON EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Chanting YOU GOT JIMMERED!!!!!

-Spending hours in line...in the snow...and the cold.....and in a tent

-WHOOSH...CECIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Starting a new tradtion..2 thumbs up after successful free throws!

-FOREVER we will remember the DANCE

-WWJD----What Would Jimmer Do??

-Jimmer worship!! HAHA Michelle!!!!!

-Thumbs up from Jimmer at the gym meet

-Winning the MWC!!!!

-Teach Me How To Jimmer...Teach Me Teach Me How to Jimmer!

-Raps from TJ Fredette

-AIRBALL! YOU GOT SWATTED!!! LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT!!!!

-TAKE HIS WHISTLE!!!!!!

-I'm Blind, I'm Deaf.....I wanna be a REF!

-Cosmo crowd surfing all the way to the top!

-FACE PAINT

-Jimmer will you marry me...or me......or my sister!-

-Seniors LOGAN, JIMMER and JACKSON

-Supporting Davies through a rough time

-SAN DIEGO STATE..enough said

-Cosmo dancing with the Cougarettes

-Polka dot headbands

-SHIMMYING OLD LADIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Season long WHITE OUT!!!!

-Skipping LOTS of class

-Being THIRD in the nation!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Seeing a whole new side of Andrea ;)

-Getting Pappy to a game!

-Blue Gatorade
-Someday it will say Fredette on my ID card.....
-When I look into your eyes, they seem to shimmer..I love you Jimmer

-Rally Towels and White Pom-poms

-Singing along with the Pep Band

-Jump on It... OH OH OH OH.....Ahah Eheh Ahah..I put my hands up in the air sometimes

-DUNKS!!!!!! Davies, Abouo, Emery, Collinsworth

-The loudest pink shoes i've ever seen

-Adam in all white....with neon green shoes

-Hartsock and Abouo on FIRE!!!!!!!!!!

-20, 30, 40 foot shots from Jimmer!

-Spending time with all my friends from the 92nd WARD

-Almost crying at least 10 times at the final home game of the season

What a great season!!! I am so grateful to have been able to be here for this season. What a great way to end my time at BYU!!!!!!! I will miss watching my boys rip up the court!!!!

Letters and Voodoo Dolls

This week was kind of a rollar coaster when it comes to nursing school applications. It seems like that is all I ever talk about anymore. I think my mother and I have not had a phone conversation since November that has not centered or somehow gotten to a discussion of my stressing about nursing school.
So last Wednesday I got a email from Johns Hopkins letting me know that they were missing 2 parts of the 5 parts of my application. I freaked of course and did everything I could to fix things. But I was freaked out and tried to email to get an idea of what was really going on. This was followed a few days later with another email...since I hadn't had a reply from the first. This one also went unanswered. So I tried to call....its much harder to ignore a person on a phone than in a computer. Apparently this is not the case with Johns Hopkins. Though the person I wanted to talk to was in the office, they couldn't take phone calls and I needed to email...though I had. So I was given another person to email.

So during this frustration I got a letter in the mail....containing my current two favorite words... Congratulations and accepted! Massachusetts General Hospital Institute of Health Professions was "impressed with my credentials and is confident that [I] have the potential to make significant contributions to both MGH Institute of Health Professions and to the nursing profession at large"
BEST ACCEPTANCE LETTER EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So at this point I was 3 for 3...still waiting on number 4. But number four was giving me fits! There is a lady in our home ward that my mom is good friends with that sometimes jokes about making voodoo dolls of those she is angry or frustrated with. And I was sooooo ready to give her a call and have her make me one for the admissions office of the Johns Hopkins school of nursing!!!!

So the next day I sent a very long email to my new contact at the admissions office. It was full of concern and anxiety...and I told my whole story from the beginning....literally I went back to my senior year when I first wanted to go to this school.
A few hours later I checked my email again....and found a very apologetic email. Thank goodness I did not ahve that voodoo doll made :).

So I am still waiting to hear from them...but at least I know that they are at least going to consider me! And that I obviously have made the cut enough to be considered and contacted. So now it is all just up to fate....or the admission counselors....or someone.

I am Actually Gonna Do It....YIKES!

So it is official...I am going to be a nurse!

I have been accepted into the Barnes Jewish Hospital Goldfarb School of Nursing in St Louis MO as well as Missouri University's Sinclair School of Nursing in Columbia MO.

I am still waiting to hear back from two other schools, but I have two possibilities....so no matter what really...I am going to be a nurse.

Its a really comforting feeling this fact. I have wanted to be a nurse, pretty much since I was 15 years old. I have wobbled back and forth with other professions; doctor, lawyer, therapist, public relations or advertising, politics and public policy, early childhood education, even photography. But even while I considered all of these other careers, nursing was in the back of my mind. They all came and went....but nursing stayed.
And now I have an opportunity to finally fulfill that dream. It only took me 7 years to get it together..and then it will take another year to get it done............but I'm gonna do it!

Better keep your kids healthy...cause pretty soon you are going to be putting them into my "capable" hands! ;)

Plans----Honestly Pretty Worthless

Wow! two posts in a week!!!! Craziness I know :)

So I am trying to plan out my life. This I realize is a ambitious task. I am only 22 and have a lot of my life left.
But to be honest I am not even trying to plan out anything more than this next semester. I just want to plan what classes I am going to take!!!!! Is that too much to ask!!!!????
Sometimes when I get in my planning modes like this I decide to just leave things up to "fate"...let things happen the way they are supposed to without my human planning getting in the way.

[side note----I realize my religion doesn't really do the fate thing----they believe in plans and no such thing as coincidences...well so I....they just call it the Great Plan of Happiness or the Plan of Salvation....but it is much shorter to call it fate...so i do]

But you can't really just live your life and hope you magically show up for the right classes. You have to know when they are and you need to have a seat and a test with your name on it.
But I don't know which nursing school I will be going to---so I don't know which prereqs I need to sign up for. I don't know when I will be going to this school. OR if I will get into any of them at all. Should I take a heavier load and get a minor in Psychology (emphasizing child and adol psych) or take a lighter load of classes I just want to take. I only need one 3 credit SFL class to graduate. I don't know how that happened cause last I checked I needed lots more than that. and in order to maintain the scholarship I was generously given I have to take 14 credits. That leaves me with 11 hours that I don't know what to do with.
I also have to schedule in time to go out to Orem and play with my kiddos, time to go to the temple and 20 hours to work. There are plenty of hours in the day----just not during the hours of 8 and 5..when I can work, volunteer and go to the temple. Plus all the psych classes I want to take seem to be at the same time as each other and all in the evenings...meaning I won't get home before 7 any day of the week but Friday (when I have no classes...very nice) But this is assuming that I go with the pscyh plan. Totally different if I go with the "fun" load.

UGGGGGGGGG I have no clue what to do. And we are getting down to the wire. I gotta finalize my classes soon so I can get books.

They always say----plans are crap right? what is it? You want to make God laugh, make plans??? I don't know

Updates---Since it Has Been So Long

So Lots has happened since my last post. I have been bad at updates.

So I finished the semester. It was HARD but I did it!

Anatomy was the hardest but I managed to pull out a solid B in it so I am THRILLED

I had to fight for my A in Cognitive Development (TERRIBLE professor)

And managed As in everything else :D

So overall a pretty decent semester.

Next should be even better. After Anatomy I feel like I could do anything!

Had a wonderful last month of the semester in Provo. Got to spend lots of time with lots of great friends. The best part of living in Provo is the awesome group of people I get to spend time with. Made a couple of trips up to temple square to see the lights---gorgeous and fun! Lots of games and Christmas cheer too.

Now I am home in St Louis---sick as a dog! I have pretty much been sick the whole time I have been home. The crazy thing about it is---not just the length---but the kind of illness. I have had EVERYTHING in this past week. Sore throat, stuffy nose, lost voice, runny nose, headaches, fatigue, aches and pains, upset stomach, achy ears, coughing, sneezing----everything! There are very few other symptoms that I could have and not be like in the hospital! Its been an eventful week that is for sure!!

As for nursing schools. Still in the unknown there. Hopefully will get that info soon!

Compliments

Sister Bonnie Parkin (leader of my church's women's organization) once said "Never suppress a generous thought."
Most people take this to mean that you never know when what you say or do saves someone's life. Maybe that is a bit dramatic but sometimes a simple smile turns a day around.
But you know what...people still need these generous thoughts even when they are having a good day, a great day even.
I take this quote to cover all types of brightening someone's day. Smiles, service, kind words, a listening ear, a favor, and compliments.

I have been blessed with some excellent liars in my life. They always tell me I look great even when I may not. Then they are very convincing as they assure me they are not lying.
I have had a pretty good day today. Got to hang with my brother who is down from Idaho, got to see my second family and hang out with awesome people from the ward. I was not really in need of any cheering up.
And then I got on Facebook as I was getting ready for bed...and I saw a message pop up from a friend from my ward. He took time to send me a message telling me how nice he thought I smelled today (Forever Sunshine, Bath and Body Works...current favorite scent due to the serious lack of sunshine we are experiecing). He had mentioned it earlier in the night when we had been at the same party, but it was so sweet of him to mention it again.
Even though I didn't NEED the compliment---it was nice to get it.
So never suppress a compliment. If you think someone looks good in green..tell them. If you think they are really good at ______ tell them!!! Tell them Tell them Tell them!!!!!!! Even if they don't need it---its really nice to hear :)

Conflicted?

This semester has been CRAZY insane! All my classes matter and require work and attention. But despite this I am taking some of my favorite classes I have ever taken here on campus.
One of these classes is my Moral Development class. Seriously this is a major cardio workout for my brain three days a week. I leave with my world turned upside down, not knowing which way is up and which is down.
I have always considered myself to be comfortable with shades of grey. I believe that there are some absolute universal truths. But that doesn't mean that I do not consider myself a relativist. And that is where the conflict lies. How far do I take my "this is wrong no matter what" and how far do I take my "they have agency and I cannot force my beliefs on others".
There is so much conflict...how does one stand up for their beliefs without seeming cold, callous, or judgemental? At the risk of alienating a dear friend or two.....I shall give an example. I believe marriage is ordained of God and should be between one man and one women. This means that I am against policies supporting gay marriage. And as I say this my heart sinks knowing that someone might misunderstand me. But please listen. This is the universal absolute truth that I believe in. However--this does not mean that I hold an hatred or distaste for those who believe differently from me. I respect your right to determine your absolute truths for yourself. Do I seem unforgiving or terrible? I surely hope not. I love all people no matter who they are. No matter, what all people are children of a loving Heavenly Father and are my spiritual brothers and sisters.
Its hard to deal with some of these difficult questions and there have been many times when I have left this class, turned my head upward and offered a silent prayer of the heart---pleading for love and tolerance as well as strength and conviction...really for more faith to know that there is a plan and all these complex problems will be solved someday by an omnipotent, omniscent and infinately loving God.

Interestingly enough...this was not the post I had planned on writing. And now I have rambled for forever. But this is what I have written...so post I will. Maybe some other day I will post what I originally had been thinking of.

Why I Love Families...especially my own!

For those of you who are not "Mormons" in places were the is a large population of single members of the church there are specific congregations for those single adults. This is kind of a way for them to associate with those who are in the same time of life as them and create friendships...and lets be totally honest...create friendships that lead to relationships that lead to marriage :)
Anyway this is the type of congregation (we call them wards) I go to now. But today I decided to mix it up. For various reasons I needed a break from the singles scene but still wanted to attend church. So I went to a family ward...located conveniently across the street from my apartment (yes I do think it is INSANE that I normally walk 10 minutes up a huge flight of stairs to get to my normal ward when it take 30 seconds to get to the one RIGHT across the street......side note in my old apartment 2 years ago...I could roll out my window and be in a church parking lot...can't get much closer than that....but still a 10 minute walk!)
So I popped across the street for church. There is a strange phenomenon in family wards....they are not quiet at all!!!! Crying, whimpering, rustling etc. Its all there. Singles wards are disturbingly quiet. A room full of 170 young adults should not be that quiet..its unnatural!!!!
Some say they love the quiet of a singles ward but I love the noise of a family ward. Its comforting. Its flawed. Its real and honest. People aren't perfect and I kinda like being reminded of that. It helps me know that I don't have to be either.
I also got to visit my aunt, uncle and cousins in Orem today. My "family of origin"...family studies speak for my parents and siblings...is AMAZING!!!!! They are the best family a girl could have. And I miss them tons all the time. But I have had the amazing blessing of gaining a second amazing family since I have been out here in Utah. My mother's sister and her husband and children have pulled me into their family of 9 and made me a 10th. And tonight was no different. I needed a recharge...and they made it happen.
There is a reason I am studying what I do. Families are essential. We need them and we need to protect them-both from the inside and the outside.

Funny moment of the day: So seriously How To Train Your Dragon...best movie EVER!!!! Favorite line???? Try lines!!!
"Thank you for summing that up!"
"You just gestured to all of me."
"Oh I am hurt. I am very much hurt!"
"Today is about survival. If you get blasted, you're dead. Quick! What's the first thing you're going to need? A doctor? "
"Most people would leave, but not us. We're Vikings. We have stubbornness issues."
"Duh Duh Duh Dum...we're dead"
But the BEST of all??
"Whoa! Toothless! What is wrong with you? Bad dragon! He-he's not usually like this... Oh, no... Toothless, what are you doing? We need her to like us! And now the spinning. Thank you for nothing, you useless reptile. "

Times They Truly Are A-Changin'

So I would like everyone to notice the time of this post....Yes my friends it is before 8 o'clock. IT IS STILL DARK!!!!!!! No one should be awake before the sun..and don't try to tell me that the sun is awake on the east coast...I don't care if it is 9 in New York...it is NOT here :)

Anyone who knows me well...or has ever lived with me...knows that calling me "not a morning person" is the understatement of the century! Up there with Mount Everest only being a hill! Then why you may ask am I up this early? Well to tell you the truth I have actually be up for 2 and a half hours!!!! Yes that is before I got up for seminary most days! 5:00 was the time of the alarm (well actually I apparently never set it for that time like I thought I did last night which provides another point of amazement casue I got up without an alarm!).

But I am not cranky about being awake right now. This morning I rolled out of bed, put on a dress and braided my hair, and was out of the door to my roommates heated seats (BEST INVENTION EVER BY THE WAY!!! that is after indoor plumbing). We drove about 5 minutes to a place of pure peace.

After that drive this is what we saw. I know a lot of people knock on the Provo Temple for being kinda ugly. And I know its not DC or St Louis..or Salt Lake or San Diego, but you have to admit that when it is all lit up at night, it is a really pretty sight.

So I am changing...or evolving not sure which one :). I am up at 5:00 and not cranky about it.

For dinner last night...I had carrotts. I have never really liked carrotts, but a little while ago I had a carrott craving and have them all the time now (granted I cover them with butter and brown sugar which is sooooo G double o D good but totally nulifies any health benefits of eating carrotts).

Also a couple of weeks ago, mac and cheese was on sale for 33 cents a box WHOA! And I bought like 15 boxes! And I am half way done with them! Yes ladies and gents THIS Stephanie now eats mac and cheese. I may have been one of the only children ever to not like mac and cheese growing up. But I didn't. Then I started volunteering. Wednesday nights I am usually there at dinner time. The normal Wednesday meal along with a random fruit and vegetable, Mac n Cheese and Chicken Nuggets. After a few weeks of watching and helping the kids eat but not eating with them built up a serious craving. (I am very prone to cravings....I am like a pregnant women without being pregnant...think what I will be like when I am pregnant!!!!!!!!!) Anyway, one Wednesday my craving hit maximum levels and I stopped at the little grocery store on the corner and bought myself a yummy box of Mac 'n Cheese..and enjoyed EVERY last bite.

Evolving or changing not sure...but its one of the two :)

Favorite moment of sillyness today (one of many I hope)

I dressed up like a goth person for Halloween last weekend and therefore painted my nails black. I totally spaced that they still were as I went to the temple this morning until I was standing about to perform an ordinance (for those not of my faith, we attend the temple to perform important and vital ordinances and ceremonies for ourselves and those who have passed away without being able to do them for themselves..let me know if you have any questions ;) ) The man officiating noticed and mentioned he liked my nails :) (ps this guy was at least 60..the super cute grandpa type). After we finished he shook my hand and thanked me, and then very firmly thanked me again for coming. I think my nails gave this dear old man the idea that I possibly am not super firmly on the straight and narrow...and he was thrilled that I was still attending the temple, despite my likely rebellion. Don't worry! I am strong in my testimony and just like black nails!!!! Gotta love those sweet old people. They are so loving! And funny :)

Turtles.....

So today in my moral development class (FAVORITE class ps...really makes me think!) we discussed the influence of peers on adolescent's moral development. Do they have a negative impact or a positive one? Are they more important than parents? We came to the conclusion that there isn't one answer (pretty much what we decide at the end of every class hahaha). Parents and peers have an equal but different effect on moral development and peers can help increase moral behavior and also very easily decrease it! My professor is awesome (prolly my favorite ever at BYU) and always likes to apply our discussion to us at the end of class. Often it is implications for our future parenting or applications to the Gospel. But today she showed us this clip as a final thought......



WOW!!!!! First let me say I have never found turtles to be very cute....they kinda smell funny to be totally honest. But as I watched this clip I couldn't help but cheer them on and think it was one of the cutest things I had EVER seen!!! The clip my professor played in class had the song Lean on Me playing in the background and as I listened to it I thought of all the many friends who have turned me over in my life.
Remember that crisis I had last Sunday? Well I had another one this Sunday (odd pattern) but this time it was at 11:30 my time so calling my rocks (aka my sleeping parents) would not have been good...nor particularly helpful. But I had some great substitutes in my roommates and neighbors. They listened and helped me figure everything out.
I have had so many amazing friends in my life.....I kinda want to list them off but I am sure I will miss someone......but......
THANKS to my PCHS friends who helped me through AP/honors classes and were always supportive and understanding of my beliefs...Emmeline, Jenni, Susan, Allison, Lauren, Michelle, Stephanie
Swing choir kids who literally got me through high school!!....Caryn and Kelsey
Frontenac girls who have known me since...well forever...Clarissa, Lara, Katy, Kat, Kate, Liz
The awesome guys from Freshman year...Scotty, Pookie, JJ
My SISTERS from Taylor 3200 who got me through the hardest times of my life!!!! ... my Kennababe, Adrianne, Jess, Jessie, Tricia, Amy, Berkeley, Leah, MJ, Carley-poo, Sarah Dawn, Sarah, Rachael and Tamara
EVERY MEMBER OF THE 92nd WARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You guys know who you are!!!!!!!! You have made my life exciting and AMAZING. You always lift me up when I need it...if I listed all of you this post would NEVER end haha
My Visiting Teachers, past and present who have never failed to actually mean the question "is there anything we can do for you?"
My AMAZING roommates Andrea and Jessica....who deal with my psychoness and other odd quarks and always are there for me.
And finally my bestest eternal friends my family.
So that was way too long but lets just end with this......which turtle are you? Are you the one on your back or are you walking around? If you are doing ok...find a friend who isn't and be there turtle friend :)

So today in church.....

They always say that this time in our lives is one of great turmoil and confusion. There are tons of decisions to make and things to do. But I really think it is not the decisions that are the hard part...it is the time in between the decision and when the event happens that are the hard part. I don't know about anyone else but I personally have at least 3 mini-crises a day when I am in that interim part of life. Sometimes they are more than mini and I have to call in the reinforcements (aka the rents, the roomies, or the sibs).

So today for our closing hymn in Sacrament Meeting, we sang Lord I Would Follow Thee. The third verse of this song actually is the "theme song" of the BYU School of Nursing. Ever since I found that out...and even though I have chosen to not pursue nursing at BYU...I have kind of used this as a theme song for my own course of nursing.

I have been kinda struggling lately with the decision of what to do about my future schooling..where to go etc. I have no idea where I will end up and have even considered lately that I might not be a nurse. I have wanted to be a nurse since I was 16 years old so when I switch and seriously consider MFT (marriage and family therapy). I LOVE my MFT classes and really feel like I would have fun helping families deal with their various issues and struggles. I LOVE volunteering and would love to help at risk families. There is a 9 year old boy right now at the center who will likely be there for at least 2 weeks. This means he was likely removed from an unsafe environment or his parents were incapable of caring for him due to their own health, mental or physical. This kind of thing totally breaks my heart. I want to help these families. I want to help this to not happen!


But then I sit there and hear that song and listen to the lyrics of that third verse.

"I would be my brother's keeper I would learn the healer's art

To the wounded and the weary I would show a gentle heart.

I would be my brother's keeper-Lord, I would follow thee."

I know nursing is what I want to do...I just have to figure out a way to help families while I do it. There are some days when I am sure that anatomy is going to kill me or I am positive that none of the schools I am applying to will accept me. But I have to keep going. The best way for me to be able to have an influence on my patients is if I am good. And the only way I am gonna get good is if I work my tail off.

So today in church as I sat listening to the almost personal invitation and mandate to care for those who need my help I felt a little overwhelmed. What if I can't be good...what if anatomy does kill me or I don't get into any schools. But then I thought about what the rest of the song talks about. It not only talks about our responsibility to help our brothers and sisters, but that the Lord loves us all and will qualify us to help His children. I truly came to realize this morning that I will be able to do the good I want to do as long as I allow myself to be directed. The Lord will put me in a place where I can bless His children. If I couldn't help them he would put me somewhere where I could. He loves us too much to make us figure it all out on our own.

So crisis averted...I will still be a nurse and I pray to God that He will help me figure it all out and be the best nurse I can be.

sorry to get all spiritual---but its Sunday...and its who I really am :D

Quick update

For those of you who are interested......the first of five..possibly six..nursing school application has been submitted.
Friday I submitted the first to the University of Missouri aka Mizzou. I am not really super keen on going to this school but I would get in-state tuition and the required GPA is FAR lower than the one I currently have. So it is kinda a safety school.

For those who don't know applications for Goldfarb Nursing School in StL, Johns Hopkins in Baltimore, and Mass Gen Hospital School of Health Professions in Boston will be going in in the next couple of weeks with their deadlines being in the first part of November. University of Utah in Salt Lake and Oregon Health and Science University in Portland are due in Jan and prolly will be done Dec ish.

There is currently no front runner. They all have pros and cons so I am just going to wait and see which ones let me in!!! keep your fingers crossed for me!