The Theory of the Fringe

By popular demand....I am going to all tell you all about my most universally correct theory.  Some of my others have flaws and exceptions.  But this one....IRON CLAD!

So FIRST let me define FRINGE

Fringe is your acceptance/rejection of things that are sketchy/ not completely in line with the standards of the Church
(ps...this is ambiguous if you are not Mormon...so please feel free to ask if you want more explanation...I LOVE to answer questions)

FOR EXAMPLE:
Lots of fringe:
watches R-Rated movies and doesn't have a big problem with it
Medium fringe:
doesn't watch them...but also doesn't care if others do
No Fringe:
doesn't watch them...and is very upset by others watching them

Lots of fringe:
"Sabbath Day?  Its just like any other day"
Medium fringe:
"Disney movies are ok...and the Super Bowl"
No Fringe:
"Scriptures and church movies are for me"

And of course it is a continuum from fringe saturation to complete lack of fringe.

Fringe levels are based on individual beliefs and values and every person has a different level of subscription to various items.  You might have a very un-fringey view on the Word of Wisdom, but you have a more fringey view of modesty.

In general...some people are simply more fringey than others.
(In my opinion, either extreme is usually not optimal.  But its not my place to judge.)

ANYWAYS....so you are wondering what this has to do with boys.  Because lets be honest, all my theories have to do with boys and dating.  And honestly the dating application is the practical aspect of this theory.


You need to date someone with the same amount AND type of fringe as you. 
(relates slightly to the Theory of the Flares)
And when I say date...I mean court.  (see future post for that explanation haha)

If you have lots of fringe--you want to try and find someone with a lot as well....and the opposite is also true.
Most people fall somewhere in the middle of the continuum.  This means you need to find someone who has similar individual fringe levels as you.
EXAMPLE: you both care a lot about boys serving missions, but both are flexible when it comes to dating before you are 16.

Think about the practicality of it.  If you are married which level of fringe is the family going to go with?  What if your kids want to go to a friends birthday party on a Sunday....and you and your spouse have different fringe levels about Sabbath Day observance.  PROBLEM!!!!!!!

Now I am not saying that conversations and compromises in the engagement and early marriage periods won't assist in preventing these issues.  But you can only realistically compromise when you are just a little off.  If you are WAY far apart on something...it's gonna be a lot of work.

Plus....people who have different values and beliefs than you are going to eventually drive you crazy.  Yeah you may like them as a friend...even a good friend.  But remember.  You have to live with this person...FOR ETERNITY...which is a mighty long time if they drive you kinda crazy!

So there you have it...the theory of the fringe :)

So now the question is...how much fringe do I have??

here's a hint ;)




I mean not really...but kinda ;)

Musical Monday Spotlight: He is We

So this is He is We......I like them.  I like them lots.

My sweet 490 buddy Rachel introduced me to them a while back

And of course I have to give you their acoustic versions...its more legit....plus you can it really proves the abilities of the singers

So close your eyes and pretend its summer.  You are wearing a cute sundress.  Its warm and sunny...but there is a breeze...so you aren't hot.  You are on a blanket...with a glass of lemonade in your hand.  Cause you are now at an AWESOME summer concert in the park

This one is my favorite of theirs....LOVE LOVE

kinda inspiring...motivating....I'm making all my own plans..throwing all my old ones away

Cute :)  You ever felt this way???

PS LOVE LOVE LOVE her hat :)

The concert in the park is over...you drive home windows down....and you get to listen to these ones

WDYT Wednesdays: How To Break Up...PART 2

THIS TIME WITH A MAN!!!!!!!!!

According to Dan Bova the executive editor of Maxim.....wow even better credentials than the last one!

Dear Yahoo homepage...thank you so much for your entertaining and insightful articles that you some how manage to pass as news......a topic for discussion on a future Wednesday perhaps......




Be definitive




Don’t let him be the last to know your feelings




Don’t do it online




Steer clear of using fake excuses




Be brief in your explanation




Avoid feeding any drama
Don't know what he means by this. I guess let them get it all out and don't turn it into an arguement?




Secure a breakup buddy
DO YOU HAVE YOUR EXIT BUDDY????? haha name that movie. You did like the guy at some point or you wouldnt have to break up with him cause you wouldnt be dating. So you need to have someone to talk to after that isnt him. Thats super hard I know...cause if you are anything like me...friendship turns into more and then suddenly the person you talk to about this kind of thing is the thing...hahaha (clear as mud right?) But talking to him doesn't help you...and it doesn't help him.

WDYT Wednesday: How to Break Up PART 1......

HOW TO BREAK UP WITH A WOMEN

At least according to.....
Kimberly Dawn Neumann a New York City-based freelance writer whose work has appeared in Cosmopolitan, Maxim, and Marie Claire..... and therefore a complete expert in the field  :)

Don’t just pull a disappearing act on her
YEAH!  It may seem easier to you to just kinda ride off into the sunset never to be heard from again.  But really.....women need closure.  It hurts less to just say "Hey this just isn't going to work out" instead of saying you will call...and then never calling.

Consider the timing before breaking the bad news to her
Is there ever a good time??? I mean really! Yeah maybe its not super nice to tell her when she just got fired. But at the same time....I've been laid off before and it took me a little while to get over it. How long do you want to fake it for?? Is that very fair???


Don’t rely on technology to do the deed

Give her adequate face time




Choose your breakup location wisely




Don’t freak out if she gets emotional afterward




Stay strong in your assertion that it’s time to end things




Don’t be cruel in the name of honesty




Don’t use that “It’s not you, it’s me” line on her




End things properly with her before you start seeing someone else




It’s OK to agree to keep in touch (on special occasions only)




Reassure her

How Do You Know You Are In Love?

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its MIDNIGHT!!!!! Welcome to 2012!  Lets all hope the Mayans were wrong and the world doesn't end in 11 1/2 short months.  (cause if it does...I SERIOUSLY need to make some DRASTIC life changes before then!)

Shall we sum up?  Review the CRAZY year that has been 2011?  It has been a little out of control that is FOR SURE!!!

(Thanks to my new bloggy buddy for the link-up party :D)











January:
Cabin trip/sleepover: Getting through rough times with my FAVORITE person! : Figuring out what real fear was : Strengthening friendships with AMAZING friends : My first 2 in 1 week : BASKETBALL GAMES : Basketball LINES : and of course TONS OF HOMEWORK STRESS AND CLASSES

February:
Practical jokes : visit from an old friend : DECISIONS : The beginning of Sunday night chats : MORE GAMES! : Amazing experiences at the Crisis Nursery with some of the cutest kids EVER : Legit dyed my hair for the first time : Finally giving up on a completely hopeless case : and of course TONS OF HOMEWORK STRESS AND CLASSES

March:
Discovery of the creepy Jesus statue, the Jane Austen house, and the haunted house : Game parties at Marin 4/ SWEET 16!!!!!! : FLASHMOB!!!!! : Decisions : TONS of CLASSES HOMEWORK AND STRESS : Hanging out with people no matter what...cause I knew I would be leaving

April:
A cabin trip : THE first date : DECISIONS/FREAKING OUT : Graduation : A night at Rock Canyon : Too many goodbyes/see you laters..and too many tears : A 5 hour car ride from Chicago (thanks tornado) : Being bummed I was no longer in UT

May:
Lived at home for a while : Lots of late night phone calls : A whirlwind weekend trip to UT (CRAZY!) : Baby shower : Moving to Columbia : FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS NEW PROGRAM

June:
More stress of school : adjusting to the new place : HATING it! : More late night phone calls/ skype chats : A broken heart..............

NO PICTURES HERE  :(

July:
An AMAZING holiday weekend with the family : still hating Columbia : escaping as much as possible : STUDYING STUDYING STUDYING : Spend HOURS AND HOURS at the pool : decide I prolly shouldn't hate Columbia...since I will be stuck there for 12 more months : make some friends

August:
DONE WITH NURSING SCHOOL FOR THE SEMESTER : Family comes to visit : Brother leaves on his mission : Fly to UT to drive to Montana : Fall in love with MT : Remember how it feels to be totally and completely happy again : Cousin's wedding : Held my "nephew" for the first time : Reluctantly return to CoMO

September:
Strengthen friendships in Columbia....trying to increase my level of happiness : FREAK OUT : STRESS OUT : Study a lot : go to clinicals : discover how much I LOVE women's health : got lost in the woods...and was found by search and rescue :)

October:
Go home for Conference Weekend : Visit from my aunt and uncle : Start dating a guy : Stop dating that guy : Start dating a different guy : Halloween fun : Pumpkin festival : Studying and stressing : Bonfires and cornmazes : FINALLY get a chance to work on the peds floor

November:
Had a MAGICAL birthday weekend : Stop dating a guy : Roller coaster emotions : STRESS and STUDYING : Early mornings and late nights : First ever kegger : Many late nights at Club VIP : home for Thanksgiving : used my city girl skills

December:
FINALS and CRAZINESS : magical trees : new friends : old friends : long late night chats : First Mizzou sporting event : Home for the holidays : visits in StL from CoMO friends : talk to Elder Willyerd via skype from AFRICA

Its been quite a year.  A rollercoaster of love and loss....stress and success.

Through it all I have had my friends.....old and new to get me through.

Distance has played a big part in this year.  But no matter how far

I have always been close to the people who matter most.

Should old acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind ?

Should old acquaintance be forgot, and old lang syne ?

For auld lang syne, my dear, for auld lang syne,

we'll take a cup of kindness yet, for auld lang syne.

Lovely...

So the other day I played you guys this song.  But I didn't really explain why.  So let me explain.
And let me give you the song again.....in case you didn't listen to it the last time.



Have you ever heard a girl completely scandalized at the prospect of being called "hot".  They are offended and feel "objectified".
Now ladies..lets tell the truth,  We don't mind it that much.  Its kind of complimenting.
To a point........

I was talking to an old friend recently and was told that in our group, I was considered the "hot one" and another friend of mine was considered the "cute one"  And for some reason...this kind of upset me.

Whenever a guy I have been dating has told me I looked hot that day, I have been flattered.  But for some reason....when its a larger general group...and they are taking about overall, general, all the time?  I am not really flattered.

All "growing up" (meaning my late adolescents and early adulthood) I wanted to be considered "hot".  And now that I may....(that sounds prideful....so I will insert the obligatory) or may not....have achieved that I'm less then satisfied.

"Its like finding out your favorite love song was written about a sandwich."

I'm not saying I don't want to occasionally be considered hot.  But my problem is that this is what I am apparently known for.  I look through my wardrobe and feel like I have nothing that is "pretty".  I go shopping and there is NOTHING that is remotely "pretty".  The world seems to be in the same boat as me.  Stuck in this cycle of attracting people in the wrong way.  Everything is overly accentuated.

I don't want to be thought of as hot.  Or attractive.  Or pretty.  Or gorgeous.  Or adorable.  Or cute.

So your question is...What then, Miss Whiny-Pants, do you want to be thought of as?  How do you want people to see you?

WELL...since you asked.  Lovely.  I want to be lovely.

Lovely is all encompassing.  It means you dress well.  That you are neat and clean and put together.  It means that you carry yourself well.  Lovely means clothes that aren't skin tight or super revealing, but that are flattering.  It means modest...both in the "covered-up" sense, and the "appropriate" sense.  Lovely is confident, but not prideful.
And it involves personality. Lovely people are kind and caring and sweet...mild mannered.
Lovely people have an aura.  People notice them.  And the only word to describe them is...lovely.

So I want to be lovely. I'm not sure how to do it to be honest. I think I'll have to start from the inside out. I have to change my attitudes...and my habits. But in this new year...along with being kinder...I am going to try and be more lovely.

And I am going to use as my muse for this endeavor-MY FAVORITE actress....the epitome of lovely....Audrey Hepburn.

 

Even as she aged....she stayed lovely!

"I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner...I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles."

"The greatest beauty tip: 

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run his / her hands through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. People, more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed, never throw out anyone. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others. Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." 

"The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows & the beauty of a woman only grows with passing years. "