Throw Back Thursday: Lost:Sept 2011

So I really REALLY want to get back into blogging again (sorry for the intensely long vacation...explanations forthcoming).

But its been hard starting back up again.  I'm out of the habit, not sure what to write about...

I've been writing for about 4 years now....and I've had some decent posts.....
Many that I suspect have been forgotten.

And now there is this whole #tbt and I have a TOTAL excuse to be lazy and resurrect old blog posts!

Plus a date I went on earlier this week reminded me of this one (This weeks' date was not similar...just saying)

And so...without further ado......

(from the days when I ran a lyrics blog....365 days, a song for each day)

Sept 9 2011
Lost         Micheal Buble

Ok so this song has really nothing to do with today...other than the title.  And I like the song so.....ready for the story!  ITS A DOOZIE

Tonight I went on a date with a guy I know from church.  He's a very sweet boy.  He wanted to show me a place called Devil's Ice Box (a cave here in Columbia).  Apparently it is a place you have to see if you are living in Columbia.  So we went to go see it and hike around the park it is in.

As we were going along we stopped for a break and he literally pulled out wine glasses and sparkling cider.  Yes my friends...we apparently fast forwarded to the proposal part of our relationship ;)

We chatted for a while just about random things.  And then started to head back to the car.  And this is when the wheels came off the wagon.  There was another trail that apparently lead to a sink hole we thought might be interesting to check out.  So we followed it.  And kept following it.  And kept following it.  We started on a "green" trail, and suddenly found ourselves on the yellow trail.  But of course....we had started on this second trail around 7 PM.  So we were now racing against time hoping to be able to get out of the interesting predicament we were in.

As we kept walking it kept getting darker.  We were so turned around and lost it wasn't even funny.  This poor kid kept turning to me thinking that some how I was the more spiritual of the two of us and would get a sudden prompting leading us down the right path.
Like I had any idea.  I might have been praying the entire time to get out of there...but I don't know if

"Oh my gosh I am stuck in the woods in the dark with a kinda weird guy and I am likely going to DIE...PLEASE GET ME OUT OF HERE" 

is really the best method of getting spiritual guidance.

Oh and did I mention it started to rain... cause it did.  And it got MUCH colder once the sun went down.

I've gotta say my favorite part of the night was when he suggested we start singing hymns.  Not sure if the purpose was for comfort or bringing the Spirit.  I mean I love singing..and love hymns...and I know we were lost...but still on a DATE!  Lets not sing...lets focus on getting out of this FREAKING FOREST!!!!!

I wanted to call 911 but he seemed to be protesting and not wanting to call.  I think it was a pride thing.  He wanted to get us out himself I guess.  MEN!  (insert serious eye roll here)
So I called my family hoping they could look up a map or give us a number for the park ranger who could point us in the direction of the parking lot.  They couldn't really help us out.  And by this point it was about 8:15 and seriously dark.  He tried his family.  But they preferred to make fun of us in our woe and couldn't help either.

Suddenly we saw a light...a light that looked like a street lamp.  So we starting going for it as fast as we could.  Then we realized there was a fence and a HUGE field between us and the light.  (Yeah we later found out we had make it to the WHOLE OTHER END OF THE PARK!!!!)

At this point I had had enough.  I didn't care if I wounded his pride.  I was NOT going to be stuck in these woods for another minute.  I was tired..and hungry...kinda thirsty..I had a blister (found a few more later tonight)...and I will be honest...I HAD TO PEE!!!  And there was NO WAY I was going off into the unknown woods...ON A DATE...even a bad date!!!!

And so I called 911 and talked to a very nice operator who was very understanding and kind.  I described as best I could where we were and how everything had happened.  And assured them at least 20 times we were ok.  Not too cold, not wet, not injured, not starving or dehydrated (not that this info was completely true...but I was on a date...so I had to be positive!)
Then they triangulated my signal (THANK YOU VERIZON!!!!!) And we stayed on the line roughly 45 minutes until the search and rescue party (which was already there for another lost group) came to get us.

They helped us hop the fence and then we walked across the field to their truck.  They then drove us about 10 MINUTES back to the parking lot where the car was.  But thankfully were rescued.

As we pulling into the parking lot, we were greeted by a fire truck, ambulance and several police cars, plus the park rangers.  HOLY COW!!!!  We got bombarded with questions amongst flashing lights.  I felt like I was at a crime scene.  But after getting all our information for their reports we were able to head out.

The guy I was with asked me if I wanted to get dinner.  And call me rude...but I told him "I think I need to get home"  It was 9:30 and we had left my apartment at 5:30.  And first dates should not be marathons!

I felt bad....because of all the people to get stuck in the woods with..he was better than most.
He is a perfect gentleman and did not take advantage of the situation like some guys might have.  And he remained upbeat and cheerful instead of cranky.  And he wasn't an obnoxious person to be around.
And he felt SOOOOO bad!  The poor guy was not planning on that being the way the night would go.  But it was certainly a memory.

(Of course I took a picture.....But to protect the innocent...I edited it a bit)

And in the tradition of the My Lyrical Life blog....
The song...............................

Follow Your Arrow

Alright....gonna chat for a bit about dating (sort of).....and advice........and a song I like lots and lots

So I LOVE LOVE LOVE this song.....Follow Your Arrow: Kacey Musgraves
for one line and one line alone

ok two......

(Can you guess which 2??????)

https://soundcloud.com/julie-humphries-1/follow-your-arrow 


(ok so there are more reasons to love it)


The past several weeks I have been receiving a great deal of advice.
Some sought after, some not.  Some helpful, some....eh hmmm less helpful.


But the biggest thing I have learned from advice receiving????
...good luck deciphering it all.

Ms Her says go left.  Mr Him says go right.  Mrs She says go up.  Msrt He says go down.

Bobby says date Billy.  Susie says run as fast as you can AWAY from Billy.
And to top it all off Jimmy some how figured out a way to suggest you do both!

NOW WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH ALL THAT??????????


Do what makes you happy they say

OH I AM TRYING!!!!


But really advice can be nice.  I generally appreciate it, and I generally have no problem giving it.
HOWEVER...

To receivers of advice...I give you a bit of advice (no the irony is not lost on me!)


Just follow your arrow.....
Wherever it points

Basically...trial and error.  Go for what you think will work great....

And if it doesn't...redirect and try something else.

So often we are completely unwilling to try things out.  

What if it fails, what if I look like a fool.

BUT what if it succeeds, what if you look like a hero.

So do what is hard.  Don't listen to anyone but yourself.

Ask her out.  Break up with him.  Find a new job.  Go back to school.

Follow your dream whatever it takes.

(The irony of this post coming the week of V-day is also not lost on me!)

So Be Happy....Be Healthy

(oh and in case you didn't guess...the lines are "Horrrrrrrrr-ible person" and "Kiss lots of boys")

Musical credits to Julie Humphries

"You Never Know"

May I have a rant moment for single girls everywhere????

We all know how much I love all things "He's Just Not That Into You"

I'm usually Gigi.....lets be honest
Doing a lot of stupid stuff in hopes of finding "it"

Scheming and plotting and planning.


BUT sometimes I'm Janine
The best friend...the enabler

The one who says "Oo signs I love signs...tell me about the signs"



How many times has someone said to us...about a guy we have NO shot with...
"You never know!"


ENABLERS!!!!!!!!


We are girls....and therefore we dream and hope...and you just made our

little bitty hope


LOTS OF HOPE!!!!!


Cruel!!!!!!!!


So to the girl who inspired this post.....There is someone better out there for you.
You don't deserve to sit around and hope that he might call or text......

Its tough love time honey!
Cause you don't need the hope of "You never know"
You need..."Its never going to happen"


Big hugs and kisses love!
It'll all work out in the end...just not with him.


Thank you all for indulging me.  You may now go back to your business.

Be Happy Be Healthy!!!!

Alright Peeps-SOAPBOX time!!!

A few days ago I was cranky with several boys in my life (what else is new??)

And so I decided to write a book.  About all the reasons I was cranky.

Then I realized how wrong I was.

Also that I likely could never write anything long enough or interesting enough to be a book.

(Disclaimer...this may not make much sense if you are not Mormon and don't know a lot of the cultural norms and stigmas attached....but I still think this post is worth a read so...you'll make it!)

As I explain I want you to picture sacrament meeting.  Its the first Sunday of the month.  You see a cute (insert gender here) walk in.  You notice and appreciate.  Then they get up and bear their testimony.  Afterwards you chat them up for a bit.  They make intelligent and insightful comments in Sunday School.  And after church you chat them up a bit more, getting to know them just a little bit more

And by the end of the 3 hour block..you have discovered a person who is

-talented in some way..music, sports, art....

-attractive

-socially competent

-intelligent

-spiritual

-successful in work/school etc.

and over the age of 25

And now I ask you a question.  What is the first thought that comes to your mind?

I would venture to guess that for many its 

"So why are they not married?" or "What's wrong with them?"

How many times have we caught ourselves doing this?  Myself included!!!!!

The past 3 guys I've gone on dates with (I exclude the 4th as an outlier) I have asked myself the question and even pinned down a reason!!!  (insert face palm/hand slap here)

We all know the reasons we give....

Momma's boys

Peter Pan complexes

Morality isssssues

Baggage...of all varieties...leading to walls.....

Too independent/intimidating/successful

Personal character flaws.......

BUT sometimes there is no reason right?  

How many times have you heard someone (aka a grandmother type) list off all the many excellent qualities of a single person and then say "I just don't know why they aren't married"

WE NEED TO STOP FINDING REASONS!!!!!

Not only for others but for ourselves!!!

Sometimes the reason is simple.

This person is not married because they are not married.

It is as simple and basic as that.


And sometimes the reason YOU are not married...is just because you are not!
I mean, have a few self reflective moments I guess.  BUT...once thats all done.  Give the thought that it may be situational and not personal a chance to marinate.


PS..Be Happy Be Healthy

Confessions on a Saturday Afternoon

I have discovered
THE
unicorn.


(see this post for a definition)

(also please be assured that this whole post is SUPPOSED to be funny haha)


There have been unicorns I have known in the past.
But this man is THE unicorn!


I wish I could put up a picture-but that might get a little awkward (yikes!)


But seriously this man is a creature not from this world.

Tall, dark, handsome....and when he smiles...oh goodness I'm a puddle on the ground.


He caused a very composed and feet firmly on the ground girl to gawk and practically drool.

And seriously when he sat down next to me-I had to hold onto the seat I was in for fear I would fall off.

And then he was talking to me....and I had to remind myself to breathe!

And then ladies and gents, he touched my knee as he was saying goodbye and I thought for sure I would need someone with ACLS training.
Cause my heart looked like THIS


(ps...its NOT supposed to look like that!)


Get the defibrillator people we've got a Code Blue Cardiac Arrest.


Truly this man is a mystical creature, that I am pretty sure is not real......like for REALS!!!


Anyway...Be Happy Be Healthy....and I will sit here trying to slow my palpating heart ;)

Its Like a Bad Haircut!!!!

Ok...so you know when you cut your hair really short and you get "snipper's remorse" and then vow to grow it out???

But then....you struggle--cause that in-between awkward stage is just MISERABLE!!!!!

(alright so guys...you prolly have no idea what I am talking about...but really how many gentleman really read this blog anyway!!!)


But really-its a terrible time full of futile attempts with bobby pins and headbands and hats to disguise the hot mess that is your hair!


And I realized tonight that there is a similar situation to be found in the dating world.

Lets paint the picture yes????


Girl meets and develops crush on Boy.  Boy asks Girl out a couple of times (we will ASSUME Boy is some level of interested).  Girl decides "forget this crush crap" and gets into a serious like situation.

Boy suddenly appears much less interested than before.  Girl has no choice but to assume Boy is no longer interested.
But Girl still wants to be Boy's  friend. (and maybe that is where the problem truly lies...but can't we be mature adults about this??????)

BUT...we have a bad in-between stage that must be crossed first.

Because did I mention...Girl made it fairly obvious that she was interested???
Which-seeing as dating makes us all 14 years old and dumb-leads to.....AUEs!!!!!!!


So any attempts to be friends aka-ask for guy advice (esp guy advice about dating), hang out on a weekend when you aren't doing anything else, text randomly when bored, set ups with friends, lend a helping hand/shoulder to cry on, even teasing-just can't happen without it seeming like you are...pathetic/needy/obsessed.

Basically all the things a girl NEVER wants to be!

And so you have to wait it out.  Luckily-like a haircut it usually only takes a couple of...well weeks..maybe a little more.

Unfortunately, awkward in-between haircut relationships don't come with bobby pins and hats.

Just gotta hold on tight and wait out the storm.
Cause...if all goes well....you will have a great friend on the other end.


And so the "post-liking phase" will be here-after referred to as "awkward haircut"

Which is really not helpful to anyone....lets be honest.  But at least its funny!!!

Anyways...Be Happy Be Healthy peeps!

Lets Share Some Memories-Its Monday!

Alright-so this is probably my fave Katy Perry song (don't judge....I really only like 3.5 of her songs)




A couple of moons ago there was this boy
(of course there was you say----be honest you would find this blog very boring if I didn't!)

It had been a while since I liked someone.  So when I met him, my young girl side came rushing out-and major crushing happened.

And I thought he might like me back.  There were a few dates.  Several hard core flirting moments.

And then suddenly--"the mystery of the disappearing man"
Not truly disappearing since I saw him from a far.  But it was always from afar.
And it made NO sense.  Of course I tried to solve the mystery...which ended SOOOO well!




I was flying high on cloud nine-excited and as one of my best friends would say "twitter-pated"

But I read the stars wrong

And then I came crashing down.  On the concrete

And let me tell you-gravity hurts.


But it became clear to me.  And I had to let go.


Did you see that??  I should I try to shove more lyrics into this post???  tehehehe


Point is-whenever this song comes on the radio-I turn it up and sing really loud.
And remember the time I tried to solve the mystery of the disappearing man

Be Happy Be Healthy!

Why Is It Such A Big Deal???

May I ask a question?

When did going on a first date become such a big deal????

I'll admit I've been super pumped/psyched/moderately stressed when the first date was with someone I had a high level of interest in (see explanation HERE)

But as a general rule, a first date is just that.  A first date.  Someone you know-who you want to get to know better.  At that point you are just acquaintances.

Now may I throw in another twist??

The phenomenon that is LDS singles congregations.  They are like rumor mills on STEROIDS!!!

So many who are part of these bad social experiments (tehehe) choose to keep first dates a secret.

And so I ask again.

Why is it such a big deal????

Who cares if the WHOLE ward is talking about how you went on a date with Susy?

The only thing they are truly saying is that Susy and Bob went on an excursion in an effort to have fun and become better friends.

Now whether or not is going to lead to romantic connections is really no one's business-I'll concede that point.

But why do we have to keep our activities a secret?  If I go out with my girl friend and someone asks me what I did and who I was with, I have no problem telling them.
And I feel the same way if the news I would be sharing involved a date.

Honestly this secrecy just breeds seriousness.  The lies and the avoidance just makes it a bigger deal than it has to be.

I guess I'm just on a simplify/honesty kick lately.

Lets keep things simple.  Lets just be mature and honest.  Lets just not make it a big deal!!!!!



Thats all----go forth and be chill :)


Be Happy Be Healthy!

Mature Adult Conversations

Alright-so you might get a little nervous with this title.

Yikes-what is this girl gonna talk about now????


Don't worry-this is going to remain G-rated.


So once upon a time (ok I admit it...once upon several times) I had this guy I kinda liked.  Alright lets be straight up...I really liked him.
And at the same time as I liked him, we developed a friendship.

(note to self-I need to stop developing crushes on my friends-it always ends...well not so well)


And being me-when it seemed like he didn't like me-I applied the good ol' "He's Just Not That Into Me" principle and stopped making any effort in our relationship (term used in general and broad manner).

Then friendships fizzled and sadness and depression ensued ;)

So I tell you all this as a cautionary tale.

Because I have grown a little (and by a little I mean microscopic growth!) since many of those "incidents"
And I have figured out how to do it best....mostly thanks to some great advice from a great friend

The conversation went something like this (minimal artistic license taken at some moments, as we are not always SUPA eloquent when speaking!!!).

"I miss him!  He's totally disappeared, and I miss my friend"
"Have you talked to him about it?"
"I probably should"
"Yes you should-you need to have a mature adult conversation about how you feel and what you need and what you want"


Oh people if only we followed this advice and more conversations like this!!!!!
Wouldn't our lives be much less complicated?????

I know-easier said than done-but try!!!

Put on some new shoes and turn over a new leaf.  Be strong and confident--adult and mature!!!!

Its refreshing-trust me!!!!

Enjoy some chipper music and......

Be Happy Be Healthy!!!!!

Alright people.  We are having a crisis!  Like major problem people!


So we all know that I have a few obsessions in my life....mainly the Bachelor and the movie/book He's Just Not That Into You.
Like really people-I need a support group.  If you have not seen the movie...see it.  If you have not read the book--read it (just skim the TOC first, cause not all the chapters will necessarily apply)

I am not messing around here people.


NOW...the point of both the book and the movie is to get us ladies to stop obsessing (chronic problem...we all have it, even if we don't admit it!).  To save us time and energy.
To make sure we "don't waste the pretty".

But let me tell you from personal and observed experience.  This is not an easy transition to make.
To go from scheming and plotting...analyzing and quite frankly orchestrating every situation for our benefit to letting them come to us and focusing solely on being "fantastic" and "hot stuff".....NOT EASY!!!!

Its like stopping crack cold turkey (ok exaggeration...but its a HARD habit to break)

When for so long your mind has been occupied by this pattern...it is VERY empty when you are trying to lay off.


So that is where we stand.  My dear friend (who I am speaking about with her permission...you are FANTASTIC hun!) is currently trying to make this transition.

And seriously people she is "jonesin"  Like take the phone away so she doesn't text him, knock her out so she will stop thinking about him serious.

She's a bad relapse just waiting to happen!

But as her friend, I have to wonder....am I giving the right advice?

I'm trying to save her a little heartbreak...but I'm no dummy...its already cracked...and at the rate she is going-it is only going to get worse.

I've always gotten on a soap-box about how empowering this idea is.  And in everyday ordinary practice it is.  When you are just meeting a guy-no connection-it works.  But if you have developed a thing for this guy...hmmmm I just really don't know


"I may do a lot of STUPID *stuff*.  But I am way closer to finding someone then you are"

Does Gigi have a point??

Or is Alex/Greg right in saying that we should just worry about us...and let it happen if it is going to happen?

Honestly-I still think I'm right for pushing her.  Its for her own good.
I hope.........


Be Happy Be Healthy!

TWATTSG: the DTR...It Shouldn't HAVE to Happen

I know its Monday-which usually means music. .
But I'm not feeling music (weird I know!)

BUT a conversation with Little Sister and Baby Sister yesterday sparked some thoughts
And so I will share......


First some background for those who are not in the Mormon dating culture (lucky ducks!  haha jk)

A DTR, or determine the relationship, is a common occurrence in our world.  Its a conversation where both parties are able to communicate their wants and needs in the relationship and where they see/want it to go.

DTRs are not simply limited to "alright we've been on a couple of dates, are we dating exclusively/officially?" They also can be employed whenever a couple would like to take the next step in their relationship.


Now, did you see how I bolded and italized the word CAN?
That means I don't really approve of the DTR in ALL situations.
Now I will concede that sometimes you have to...communication is important and I would never discourage it.
HOWEVER.  In most situations...DTRs create MORE trouble and drama than they prevent.

Too many times after a long (generally whiny) gab fest with a girlfriend about confusion over a hot/cold guy...the result is advice to have a DTR.

DON'T LISTEN TO THEM!!!!

It is VERY possible to have a natural organic and obvious progression in a relationship.
As long as you are progressing.
Signs can let you know -- if he keeps asking you on dates....he prolly doesn't hate you.  If he holds your hand....if he kisses you.  If he introduces you as his girlfriend.  If he asks you to marry him.

Does this make sense??
I feel like guys worry that we don't want your "advances".
(PS 9 times out of 10 she wants it! like FOR REALS!!!!!)
If we don't we will let you know.  Its VERY easy to get out of holding someone's hand/kissing them/marrying them.
So just give it a shot.....

I know this is putting a lot of pressure on the guys.

And in a future post perhaps I will put more on the gals.
(cause we do have a little power wink wink nudge nudge)
But today I would like to borrow a thought from my favorite "Spicy Chicana"

"PUT ON YOUR BIG BOY PANTS!!!!"

DTRs can be avoided....just avoid plateaus.
Don't be hot and cold.  And you will do just fine :)


And thats the world according to this Swilly Girl!


Now Be Happy Be Healthy...and put on your BIG BOY PANTS  ;D

A Lesson In Body Language...Thanks DC

Lets just start with the video...which I preface by saying it is almost 100% accurate and HYSTERICAL.

Following will be my review...so enjoy ;)

ALRIGHT....

Ready for the breakdown??

I'll only go with the falsehoods...cause I could discuss the truths of this ALL DAY LONG!!!!!!

False: Gals DO NOT move their lips subconsciously!!!  Where did you hear that???  Who is spreading such lies!!!!  However, a gal might lick her lips.  That is a fairly universally acceptable signal (but most girls I know don't actually use this one, we just all know about it)

False: The dumb acting.  This isn't actually false, I just want to give a warning.  Don't act too dumb cause then they think you ARE dumb (no way!  I never would have guessed!).  You just want them to help you.  Reaching high things and carrying heavy things tends to be more effective.  Play the weak card.

False: Girls do not push guys they don't like at all.  They avoid touching them at all costs.

False: Diagonal is not that bad.  Usually just means friendship...see previous POST  for more info.

(PS...I've been talking about levels of hugs for YEARS!!!!)

False: The rub???  Does anyone rub???  The pat is no good...that's true...but rubbing seems SUPA weird.  

False: A girl who touches your leg is kinda a tramp??  Not true!!  Leg touching is different from leg grabbing.

Grabbing=trampy  Touching=she likes you...cause that doesn't happen on accident!!!

False: Meat, kissing, explosions and sports....just gotta add that sports in.  

Also men only think they are simple.  To a girl you are crazy complicated!  As evidenced by snuggling for warmth vs snuggling for well...you know.

But in your defense....we are equally complicated.....probably.  If you ask me we just want to be taken out and treated nice.  What's so complicated about that?? (wink wink)

Anyway...Go forth and...try not to get into relationships you don't realize you are in :D

Maybe I should have done a video response to this one...cause I hope everyone catches my sarcasm..and doesn't think I'm at all serious about this ;)

Be Happy Be Healthy!

The Ward Menu--The Rules

Hope you all enjoyed Little Sister's post yesterday.
I know I had a lot of look in readers (Little Sister has lots of friends-Miss Popular!)

Hope some of you have stuck around.  We have fun around here in the Swilly World and we always love new friends.
Just make sure you follow

over there!



(please excuse bed-head hair and lack of makeup....its my day off and I am NOT getting ready if I don't have to!!!)





Yesterday Little Sister mentioned the Ward Menu.

Allow me to elaborate.

The Ward Menu---aka the Ward Directory---aka a list of people, their addresses and phone numbers (with pictures sometimes) who are in your local congregation.

Very helpful no??

Yes...but it also can present several pitfalls.


So I would like to present a few rules....or perhaps I should call them guidelines...cause rules are meant to be broken.

I simply present these as suggestions to assist as you attempt to avoid AUEs.

There are only three...and they all are kinda common sense.



1. Ladies DON'T use the directory phone numbers to call up/text guys unless it is for your calling.  Apparently this can be seen as creepy.  And though an alarming amount of guys seem to be saying they like forward (aka creepy) girls.  They are the minority and/or are lying.

2. Gentleman DON'T use the directory phone numbers to call up/text a girl unless it is for your calling. Not because it is weird.  But because you should put on your big boy pants and ask the girl for her darned number!!!!   (I do not at all feel strongly about this one).

You can break this one guys....but it you better have a good excuse.  Like you are a mute and can't ask girls for their numbers.  Or you were maimed the last time you saw her and now are in the hospital and she can't come visit unless you call her...with a number you got from the directory.

3. Don't mark up your paper copy with color coding, symbols or dog ears with your roommates.  Drawing hearts on your favorites, or putting different marks on each based on which roomie is interested/gets dibs, or worst of all color coding by hotness...just leads to bad things when the guys come over..and then ask to borrow your copy. Or worse...happen to see it sitting on the table and flip through your obviously worn copy



The Ward Directory can be an excellent tool.
If used appropriately.


OR inappropriately in complete secret ;)



BE HAPPY BE HEALTHY!!!!!

Favorite Things Friday-Little Sister Guest Post

Alright ladies and gents.  Its Friday and this Friday, I would like to introduce one of my favorite things.

LITTLE SISTER!!!!!

In her official blogging world debut!

When she told me this story I told her she HAD to do a guest post.

And so everyone..enjoy Little Sister

Be Happy Be Healthy!

SOOO when I called home after church today and was relaying this story Stephanie insisted that I must guest post, because it’s just too good to not share!

So here I am :)

BYU singles wards are…. Interesting to say the least haha it’s taken a while for me to get used to certain things, and I’m still not entirely – the dead silence because there’s no children, the weekly mission calls and engagements, and every talk is also a chance to get your name and face out there in hopes of a date.

In the church there’s a big push to date, to get married – we’re big on families!

So singles wards = the dating version of the hunger games.  

The ward directory is also the ward menu or the ward selectory as you date around and get to know people.

Ward prayer is also a prime opportunity to ask someone out, some wards even do what’s called “date minute” where people can publicly ask whomever they would like out on a date.

The first counselor in my bishopric (leadership group of the congregation) has always been kind of known to joke about dating but it’s never been that big of a deal and it fits his overall goofy demeanor.  But this week in church my bishop had a go…. And it was well…. Interesting to say the least hahahaha

Now with the new semester we’ve had a lot of new people move in and the process of handing out callings (assignments to help the congregation run smoothly) has been kind of slow so he wanted to remind us that in the meantime to make sure and fulfill our other “callings”.  In the church we also have what’s called home and visiting teaching – essentially you’re assigned someone to teach and visit with every month to foster friendship and make sure everyone gets taken care of.  So his reminder about this assignment was actually quite appropriate.

But then… he started in on the dating.  (it went something like this)

"Ladies why not take advantage of home teaching to get a date he offered.  

And future missionaries?  You need to practice making appointments – call up a girl this week and take her out on a date.  

In addition to your other callings you also have this one – date.  Especially you return missionaries. 

Make their day!"

More like freak them out…. But I’ll roll with it ;)

Pinterest-Not Just For Recipes Anymore

Alright ladies (gents if you are on Pinterest...get off....and turn in a man-card!)
We all know that the following statement is 110% true

BUT I have an announcement.  Gone are the days of 100s of recipes you will never try...the simple looking crafts that turn out to be a disaster in actual application....the makeup tips that are more like photoshop tips.

Pinterest is now a place to learn flirting techniques!

Go with me on this one ok???

The other day I get on Pinterest...skimming my friend's pins as usual.  And THIS came up!

      http://www.wikihow.com/Read-Palms

Palm reading eh???  It took 30 minutes to of perfecting my skills to figure out my own life and personality.......

Highlights Include 

~emotional trauma in my love life, (check!) 

~practical thinking, (yep...)

~lots of momentousness decisions, (alright this one might be crap..cause doesn't everyone??) 

~strength and enthusiasm, (true)

~sociable talkative and witty... (just ask anyone!)

~and I have no fate line (hoping that isn't a bad thing!)

ANYWAY...After a few minutes I discovered that this new skill could be VERY beneficial.

think.....

YEP...this could go very well for us ladies......

Of course you would have to go about it sneekily to ensure that you didn't come across as a crazy dittzy gal..."Oh I know how to read palms..can I read yours?  (insert giggle and dumb hair flip here)

NO THANK YOU!!!!

We can do better than that!

We can be slick about it..... 

So ladies get on it!!!!!

Just kidding.  But seriously.....

Be Happy Be Healthy!!!

A Sadly Momentous Day

Its not sad in the "boo-hoo shed a tear" way. But in the "oh that is a little pathetic" way.


Tonight I am going on a date.  For the first time in 14 months.
(don't pity me......)

The last time I went on a date...it was the year 2011.  In fact it was my birthday.  Farm Boy brought me daisies (fave flower!) and made me a cake (yellow with chocolate frosting...FAVE).

(yeah that ended well for me!)

I'm honestly not that broken up about the fact.  I had lived in Columbia for 6 months by that point...and there weren't that many people to date that I hadn't already gone out with or weren't taken or weren't like a younger (occasionally annoying hehe )brother

And there was lots of things going on in my life too (Like ya know...nursing school.....), so I wasn't exactly putting myself out there or even making myself very available!

(Note to self...never try to juggle lots of school with lots of work...doesn't mix well!)

ANYWAY.....

I suppose I should feel out of practice.  But I really don't.
The only thing I do feel....I forgot how much I really hate dating.

Tonight is a blind date of sorts.  A set up by a sweet old lady I know from church.  So it has the potential to be awkward.  WAIT...all dates have the potential to be awkward.


When you don't date for a while-or you date someone for a long time, you forget about the awkward part.  You remember the fun times and the occasional butterflies.  But forget the awkward.


And let me just say...if this date launches me back into the scene....ICK...I guess I am in for lots of AUEs!



Bright side??
Ya'll will get to hear all about 'em!!!!!!


Be Happy Be Healthy!

Degrees of Interest

My life is often riddled with people making jokes about setting me up with people (hazard of being single in your mid twenties).  However, lately things have gone to a whole new level.  It is not just the older marrieds wanting me to get set up....the single friends have joined in!

It has recently become apparent that I can not talk about a boy without getting the eyebrow wiggle.  And so for the benefit of all--The Degrees of Interest

Degree 0....Complete and Total Lack of Interest  EEEEEWWWWW gross!
You are not interested in being their friend.  And you are not interested in being their girlfriend.   For any number of reasons.  They are a weirdo.  They are a jerk.  They are just not someone you are even remotely interested in getting to know better.

Degree 1...Aesthetic Interest   You find them attractive.
The phrase "He's cute" or "He's yummy" or similar comments on someone's LOOKS is merely that.  A comment on their looks.  This indicates that you are not opposed to meeting them and getting to know them better...but you are also equally content to admire them from afar!  This is NOT romantic interest!  I have aesthetic interest in Ryan Gosling and Ryan Reynolds.  Doesn't mean I want to date them (ok well...if the situation some how presented itself.......)

Degree 2....Friendly Interest  You find them nice.
This is simply means you...find them nice!  You would like to be their friend and get to know them better because they seem..wait for it...NICE.  Again NOT romantic interest!  Many of the people I have met lately fall into this category.  Bell Boy, New Bestie, even Tall and Lanky.  But just cause I would be interested in getting to know them better does not mean I am at the "Take me I'm yours" spot just yet!

Degree 2.5....No Romantic Interest  You find them delightful in the most platonic way.
This might be known to many as the friend zone (which, never fear, will be discussed further at a later date!)
aka....the majority of all opposite sex people in your life.


Degree 3...  Intrigued   Oh I would like to get to know them better!
Generally this means you find them moderately/adequately attractive and think they are nice.  you wouldn't mind a date or to spend some more time with them.  But if not...meh who cares. Friend, boyfriend, acquaintance-all acceptable outcomes in your mind. Still not romantic interest...simply interest.

This degree can be somewhat confusing to most people.  Both observers and those in the degree.  Key indicators that this is your level of interest include but are not limited to: asking around about someone, FB stalking them, attempting to casually run into them at social events you both "coincidentally" are attending...etc.


These first three can happen in a variety of orders and usually occur within the first 1-3 interactions with a person.  The remaining take a little bit of longer time!


Degree 4...Moderate Interest    Ok we need to go on a date.
This is degree 3 on 'roids.  You REALLY want to go out with this person and see where it might go.  This is romantic interest, however it is not even remotely a point of no return.  This romantic interest could end with whip-lashing speed....or might grow to something a little less volatile.

Degree 5...Full Blown Interest  Lets go on more dates
This is the point when someone continues to intrigue you and you want to continue getting to know them.
Again not a point of no return, but your interest is much more stable.


NOTICE this is still not in the dating/marriage realm!  This is still just GOING ON DATES (see HERE for further explanation of these realms!)


Degree 6....Beyond Interest   Alright I've gotten to know you enough....now I just like you.
THIS is when you really like someone and you want to get more serious.




Alright now that we have the definitions....may I be allowed to share a little bit of application for us???

The only degrees where meddling and/or intervening and/or facilitating without prompting are 3 and 4.  Other than that only assist if asked specifically by the subject.

(PS...subjects....use others sparingly...it is always better to do it yourself  sooooo much less drama!)

ALSO  others please do not confuse discussion of a guy (ANY GUY) with interest.  Just because they are brought up in casual conversation DOES NOT mean you are any more than 1 or 2 degrees with them!


Enjoy....share your thoughts below!


Be Happy Be Healthy!!

WORST DATE EVER

I wrote this a while ago

And I thought I would bring it back.....with an INVITATION.

Write about your own worst ever date and put it or the link to it down in the comments section.

Can't wait to hear what ya'll have been through.

Best story may get a guest post spot!!!!!!  ;)

so here we go...hold onto your hats.

DISCLAIMER:  Names and places have been changed to protect the pathetic.

Tonight I went on a date with A GUY I know from church. He's a very sweet boy. He wanted to show me a place called CAVE here in town. Apparently it is a place you have to see if you are living HERE. So we went to go see it and hike around the park it is in.

As we were going along we stopped for a break and he literally pulled out wine glasses and sparkling cider. Yes my friends...we apparently fast forwarded to the proposal part of our relationship ;)

We chatted for a while just about random things. And then started to head back to the car. And this is when the wheels came off the wagon. There was another trail that apparently lead to a sink hole we thought might be interesting to check out. So we followed it. And kept following it. And kept following it. We started on a "green" trail, and suddenly found ourselves on the yellow trail. But of course....we had started on this second trail around 7 PM. So we were now racing against time hoping to be able to get out of the interesting predicament we were in.

As we kept walking it kept getting darker. We were so turned around and lost it wasn't even funny. He kept turning to me thinking that some how I was the more spiritual of the two of us and would get a sudden prompting leading us down the right path. But like I had any idea. I might have been praying the entire time to get out of there...but I don't know if

"Oh my gosh I am stuck in the woods in the dark with a kinda weird 25 year old who hasn't done much with his life yet and I am likely going to DIE...PLEASE GET ME OUT OF HERE" 

is really the best method of getting spiritual guidance. 

I've gotta say my favorite part of the night was when he suggested we start singing hymns. Not sure if the purpose was for comfort or bringing the Spirit. I mean I love singing..and love hymns...and I know we were lost...but still on a DATE! 

Lets not sing...lets focus on getting out of this FREAKING FOREST!!!!!

I wanted to call 911 but he seemed to be protesting and not wanting to call. I think it was a pride thing. He wanted to get us out himself I guess. MEN! (insert serious eye roll here) So I called my family hoping they could look up a map or give us a number for the park ranger who could point us in the direction of the parking lot. They couldn't really help us out. And by this point it was about 8:15 and seriously dark. He tried his family. But they preferred to make fun of us in our woe and couldn't help either. 

Suddenly we saw a light...a light that looked like a street lamp. So we starting going for it as fast as we could. Then we realized there was a fence and a HUGE field between us and the light. Yeah we had likely make it to the WHOLE OTHER END OF THE PARK!!!! At this point I had had enough. I didn't care if I wounded his pride. I was NOT going to be stuck in these woods for another minute. I was tired..and hungry...kinda thirsty..I had a blister (found a few more later that night)...and I will be honest...I HAD TO PEE!!! And there was NO WAY I was going off into the unknown woods...ON A DATE...even a bad date!!!!

And so I called and talked to a very nice operator who was very understanding and kind. I described as best I could where we were and how everything had happened. And assured them at least 20 times we were ok. Not too cold, not wet, not injured, not starving or dehydrated (not that this info was completely true...but I was on a date...so I had to be positive!) Then they triangulated my signal (THANK YOU VERIZON!!!!!) And we stayed on the line roughly 45 minutes (it began to rain at this point ps!) until the search and rescue  came to get us. They helped us hop the fence and then we walked across the field to their truck. They then drove us about 10 MINUTES back to the parking lot where the car was. WE WERE SOOOOO LOST. But thankfully were rescued.

As we pulling into the parking lot, we were greeted by a fire truck, ambulance and several police cars, plus the park rangers. HOLY COW!!!! We got bombarded with questions amongst flashing lights. I felt like I was at a crime scene. But after getting all our information for their reports we were able to head out.

The guy I was with asked me if I wanted to get dinner. And call me rude...but I told him "I think I need to get home" It was 9:30 and we had left my apartment at 5:30. And first dates should not be marathons!
I felt bad....because of all the people to get stuck in the woods with..he was better than most.
He is a perfect gentleman and did not take advantage of the situation like some guys might have. And he remained upbeat and cheerful instead of cranky. And he wasn't an obnoxious person to be around.
And he felt SOOOOO bad! The poor guy was not planning on that being the way the night would go. But it was certainly a memory.

So when I got home...I called my mom to assure her that I was ok (hindsight being 20/20 I prolly shouldn't have called my mother and worry her...better to tell her the story afterwards right??) And I explained more of the story to her. I also texted my best guy friend and made him come give me a hug...cause yeah it had been a LONG night.  He I would have enjoyed being lost with!  His response to my statement..."I wouldn't have gotten us lost!"



And I know what you are all thinking.....no none of this was made up.  You can't make this kind of stuff up!!!!!!!

Can't wait to hear yours!

Be Happy Be Healthy!

The 6 Point Couple

Alright ladies and germs.  Gather round-this is a public service announcement.

I would like to present to you...the 6 point couple.

This is a couple that must be touching at 6 points...at all times.

Examples of these 6 points include, but are not limited to:
elbows, shoulders, feet, heads, lips, hips, hands, knees, upper arms, thighs, or noses


These couples appear to be magnetic.
When they separate the always come back together in some similar configuration.


Now some might say it is cute and sweet that they always have to be touching.
But it can get dangerous.

I once knew a couple who maintained their 6 points while cooking.  That's not just impractical...its DANGEROUS!!!  There are hot liquids involved!!!!


Plus it can get super awkward for the people around.


NOW...let me talk to you about the PSA portion of this post.

Though I have see some 6 point couples survive-they had a bumpy road.
And I have seen even more 6 point couples crash and burn.

The unhealthy-ness of this co-dependence usually spells trouble.


Just a friendly warning :)

And enjoy this solution for those of us who are not a part of a 6 point couple.

;)

Be Happy Be Healthy!

Movie Monday- How To Talk to Girls

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS!!!!!!????

OMGSH!!!!!!!!!  (see swilly dictionary for definition)

MAJOR EPICNESSS!!!!!

Source: youtube.com via Jenevra on Pinterest

First thing you should say if hi. If she says hi back you are good


 I LOVE THIS KID!!!!!!!!!!!


 Enjoy!