Don't Let Them Be Invisible

This post is dedicated to those who travel to the island of misfit toys to retrieve the invisible, and make them un-invisible


I am almost as hesitant for this post as I was for yesterday's.

But I have been so humbled and completely astounded by the lovely response I have received to yesterday's post....that I have a little courage today!

None of us are perfect.  We are all going to make mistakes...inadvertently hurt another person in our path.

I don't want anyone to feel discouraged or guilty.

Instead I would like to motivate and encourage.

Cause YES the people in my life have hurt me, on purpose and by complete accident.

BUT there have been countless people who have healed me when I needed it most.

Small things make a difference.  When I have been fighting the cancer of invisibility, my chemo has been kind words, uplifting people.  

But it never was just one compliment...never has been one act of inclusion.

It has been multiple....many seemingly insignificant moments that save you.

Sitting by someone sitting alone isn't grandeous....but it combats loneliness

A smile and wave..even from across the room doesn't stun teams of oxen....but it can change a life.

A compliment on an outfit, or a task might not seem like much...but you never know.

You don't have to look far.  Many times we don't act invisible.  So take a guess.  Help out anyone.....and pretty sure, you will be exactly right

We all have the ability to change the course of a day for another person.  It takes a little bit of effort to see the lonely and to be kinder than you have to be.  But its worth it.
Do you best to not exclude.  Do your best to use kind words and kind actions.

This is really the whole thing.

In my life there have been many people in my life who have seen me when I felt as though I was fading away.

Dear friends have said kind and lovely things, just when I needed to hear them.

So thanks to you.  

And thank you to the hundreds of people who have and will save us invisibles

Invisible......

This post is dedicated to all those on the island of misfit toys...


I hesitate to share a post that is so incredibly personal, but I do in hopes that it gives peace and comfort to some, and motivation to others.....
So this will be a two part series......stay tuned for tomorrow.


When this song first came out, I thought it was cheesy and silly.

But then my life got to a place where it suddenly took on a great deal of meaning.

I don't want this to be a whiny sad, woe-is-me post.

This post is not about me.  Or at least not just about me
Its about anyone who has ever felt left out.
Anyone who has ever felt worthless and not good enough.
Anyone who has ever felt invisible.

I truly believe there is strength in numbers.
There is comfort that comes with shared experience.
You are not the only one.



I've been called abusive, a whore, a self-righteous skank, privileged and spoiled, manipulative, mean.
All by people who supposedly cared.

wishing all it was, was sticks and stones those words cut deep

I've been the only one not invited to parties, game nights, activities or events.
I've had friends walk away from our friendships.
I have been the girl holding up the wall, or sitting in the corner by herself.
I've been cheated on.  I've been used.  I've been treated like I was just a piece of meat.

I've had to fight tooth and nail, use every trick I know to get people (both guys and girls) to notice me, or be my friend.

you've been trying for so long to find out where your place is

You've felt this as well haven't you?  Well....

Trust the one....Who's been where you are

It don't mean you're all alone

And you're not invisible

There's so much more to life than what you're feeling now

Someday you'll look back on all these days

And all this pain is gonna be invisible

I haven't always felt invisible.
Its like a cancer that goes into remission for a while, but pops back up, rearing its ugly head.
Life will seem to be going alright...and then you don't get the invitation all your friends do, or an unkind word is said, or you suddenly feel all alone in a crowded room.

And you begin to wonder... "Is there something wrong with me?"  "Is there a reason they all seem to not like me?"

Its a constant battle.

A battle that, though I want to give up everyday...I refuse to surrender.

you're strong enough to win

If you don't feel it now...I understand.  Its hard to feel the hope when you are in the middle of the muck. 

So if you don't-that is ok.

I don't feel it sometimes either.

Just keep listening to the song.  Listen until you believe it.

You are NOT invisible.  

When the tears don't stop and the loneliness seems to be trying to drown you.

Keep fighting.  Keep being you.

And someday....you won't feel invisible.

If you look past this moment

You'll see you've got a friend

Waving a flag for who you are

And all you're gonna do

Yeah, so here's to you

And here's to anyone who's ever felt invisible

Favorite Things Friday

So a gal at work was talking about epic proposals....reminding me of a few of my faves. :). 

Enjoy. 

And future whoever you are....take notes Hahahahahaha 

#TBT....My Trip To the Kansas City Temple

Lets go back a few years to a great weekend trip to Kansas City!



Can I please tell you how amazing my weekend has been?  You guys are gonna get an awesome three post day..cause I have three very important things to talk about!

First I had the amazing pleasure and honor to attend the open house of the Kansas City Missouri Temple.

For those of you who did not know, when our church builds a new temple, the building is open to the public for a few weeks before it is dedicated (then only worthy church members may enter).

I felt so blessed to be able to enter this beautiful building.  We went through at a time when (according to the tour guides) there were more people going on tours than there had been at any other time so far.  And yet it was still quiet and peaceful.  You would think a couple hundred people would make more noise...but nope!  The weather held off too...so that was really nice.

I was not able to take pictures as it was not particularly appropriate in such a sacred and holy place.  But the church has released these pictures..so wanna take a little tour with me???  (all pictures can be found on http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/mormon-kansas-city-missouri-temple-open-house.)

Feel free to listen as we walk through (I'll explain later why I picked this song)

First lets start in the baptistery.  This is an area where worthy members as young as 12 are able to be baptized as proxies for those who have died without an opportunity to be baptized.  This gives them an opportunity to accept this essential saving ordinance. 

Many times we are able to be baptized for our own personal ancestors...what an amazing experience!

As we move upstairs we come to these two instruction rooms.  Here members of the church learn about the Plan of Happiness that our loving Heavenly Father created for us.  We learn about and make covenants or promises to follow the commandments as well as live Christ-like lives of purity, honesty and service.

I just have to say as a side note...this picture does not do justice to the beauty of the mural in this first room. It was truly magnificent.  The artwork in the temple is all beautiful.  Much of it is centered around Christ, but many landscapes are also displayed.  These paintings, in my humble opinion are particularly breathtaking.

Here we are in the Celestial room.  This is the "ultimate" room of the temple.  When we entered this room no one spoke, not even our tour guide.  It is by far the most beautiful room in the temple.  It is symbolic of the Celestial Kingdom (hence its name haha)  This room is astoundingly gorgeous.  Ornate almost seems like the wrong word, because that makes it sound almost gaudy.  But it is truly elegant and breathtaking.

Alright,..here is another awesomely important room in the temple.  the sealing room.  In our church we believe that families can be together forever despite the short separation brought on by death.  This is the room where that can take place.  Not only are husbands and wives sealed together, but children are also sealed to their parents.  In my opinion this is the happiest room in the whole temple!

Now at one point during our tour, we got an extra special treat.  We were led through the temple by a dear couple from Kansas.  When the wife of the couple realized that we had a little extra time, two young single adult sisters and three young girls in our group she took the sisters on a special trip to this room.....

This is the bride's room.  And oh my gosh...please excuse the reenactment of the MAJOR girly moment that occurred in my head.  

"OH MY GOSH!!! OH MY GOSH!!!!  THIS IS SO PRETTY.  Its like glowing!  Its so shiny and gorgeous I can;t stop smiling...I think I am glowing.  Its rubbing off on me!  OH MY GOSH!!!  Oh look at the mirror...Stephanie stop picturing yourself in a wedding dress in that mirror!!!"

Seriously it was beautiful!!!!

Last thing I want to talk about is the decor.  I know that sounds kind of crazy but it was so lovely, and so perfect.  See in the picture of the recommend desk the stained glass olive tree??

This is where the song comes in.  Throughout the temple, in flower arrangements, on carpets, in gold leafing on ceilings walls, the iron railings, in chandeliers and even in the windows...

there were images of olive branches.  The main color scheme was a lovely green..kind of in between a sage and an olive green, cream and gold.  It all tied back to that olive branch.

My friend and I wondered what the symbolism of that was...and came up with two possibilities.

1. The olive branch symbolizes peace and truce.  Members of the church have a long past of persecution and contention with the citizens of the Kansas City area.  However, this symbol of the olive tree shows that these problems are all in the past and that this temple is an offering to the community of friendship and cooperation.

2. In Jacob (a book in the Book of Mormon) there is an allegory about an Olive Tree that teaches about the gathering of the House of Israel.  We believe that this will happen in a place very close to Kansas City called Adam-ondi-Ahman.  This is another possible source of symbolism.

So that is the end of our tour.  Magnificent building right?

I know that peace can be found there.  I know it is a House of the Lord.  A place where the Lord and His Spirit can dwell.  I know it is a place where we can make special covenants and perform sacred ordinances for our kindred dead to allow them to progress towards salvation..

I'm so so grateful for this opportunity I was able to have.

Here is a short video if you have questions about Mormon Temples

Things You Should Know About Tuesdays: Meg

For those of you who don't know I often take Tuesdays to get on a soap box about something I'm passionate about.

This week is no exception



Recently I was introduced to Meg Herndon.
A beautiful and vivacious red head.
A talented soccer player, a go-getter who managed to juggle playing for a Division II team while going to nursing school and working as an aid at a local hospital.

(When I was in nursing school necessities like bathing eating and sleeping became luxuries and she found time to do all that!!!????)

I admired her from the start, and would love to introduce her to you as well.

Sorry-should have warned you to grab a few tissues.

On September 9th, after coming home late from an away game with her team, she rode her scooter to work. And as she was coming around a corner, she was hit head on by a Ford 250.

On September 20th, she passed away, leaving a legacy of love by donating many of her tissues and organs.


And I could get on my organ donation soapbox.
But Cindi, Meg's mother (who introduced me to her) would prefer I mention this.......

Meg was not wearing her helmet.

Its hard to say with the type of collision and the type of injuries she sustained if that would have made any difference.

But does that really matter?

If wearing a helmet would save your life, isn't it worth the helmet hair?

I could list off a million statistics of how helmets save lives.  Of how many lives are lost by those not wearing helmets.

But those don't matter.  Those are just numbers.
In 2012, a life was lost.
That is what matters.

Don't allow yourself to become a statistic.  Don't be one in so many hundred, or the such and such percent of something.

Wear your helmet.  Be smart and be safe.

Mix-Tape Monday

Thanks to a certain friend of mine this song has been stuck in my head for DAYS.

But I guess I'm glad you're back from your California Adventure.....and I'll accept the chorus going around and around in my head.
xoxoxo

I picked this particular video cause well....its kinda sweet.
Interesting bonding technique dad.....says the gal with a degree in child development (occupational hazard)

Is it stuck in your head now?
Yeah I feel your pain.


Also this new song was VERY applicable today...........

I've got one less problem without-cha

ALSO....Dear people driving past me while I'm waiting in the turn lane.  

Yes I'm dancing to sassy pop music....Deal with it ;)

Stress: A Little Suggestion

Favorite Things Friday!!!!

A couple of things I have found that made me smile this week


My condolences to the loved ones of Maya Angelou.  And my gratitude for her work is unmatched.
Until this week I sadly didn't realize how incredibly talented this women was.
She has an incredible way with words.

Just watch.  You'll get goose bumps and be astounded by this women's spirit.

These guys got SECOND!!!!  Who got first??????

Enjoy a few of my favorites from the week!!!

#TBT For That One Time I Tried To Change My Name

Hey everybody!  A throw back to 2010. Oh the crazy/odd/funny things I did when I was in college!  Enjoy!!!!!!

So this story requires a bit of background. When I was 13ish I knew this girl in my home ward named Carolyn. She was a senior and about to leave for BYU. She decided that for fun (mostly to ward off the guys she didn't want to date) she would go by Lyn. I thought this was a funny idea and when I was a senior I decided I would give it a shot. I decided I would chop off the Steph..and be Annie.

Then I moved in with my cousin and realized Annie would not work. You can't change the habit of someone who has known you your whole life basically.

So I vowed to do it my sophomore year. I moved into my new apartment to find that I now lived with....an Annie. DARN! I couldn't do it.

So my junior year rolled around and I am not sure why....but I didn't even think to change my name.
But then my senior year rolled around......... (aka tonight haha) Around 6ish tonight I decided to start going by Annie. (Only in my ward....family, old friends school, work, etc. would still be Stephanie/Steph/Stephie) So I sent out a text that went something like this.

"Attention everyone. I hereby change my name to Annie. That is all. Thank you. Have a nice day!"

I got several confused and stunned texts but smoothed out most ruffled feathers. Then I went to visit some people in one of the other apartments in our complex. And here the madness began. First I got a great deal of confusion. Most thought it was a joke...but they do not know me very well. People who have fake engagements and marriages are the most likely people to randomly change their name...for reals...just to confuse people. Anyway so I explained I was serious and why I was....just for fun, a change of pace, a reinvention of sorts.

Some were very supportive...my home teacher Jeff....ok so that was it really at first. Most we not supportive. They thought I should be Anie (short a sound...like a knee thank you Kevin and Eric).

Others (also eric) thought Fannie/Fanny/Phanie/Phannie would be most appropriate. REALLY!!!!!!!!!! Yes I love being called the name of someone's backside. When I pointed this out later to Eric.....hehehe payback...... He became very red..started to say something then stopped....then upon our insistence informed me that there was nothing wrong with my fanny....:) THANKS ERIC!!!!! what a great friend right hehehehe
But most though just thought I should stay Stephanie/Steph

Then ward prayer happened and this is when the train really went off the tracks. I found several more supporters...Jared, Kyle, JB, Dustin, Paul, Maddie, Kelsi, Ginger---wonderful friends these people are :). And I got Holly to come to my side too hehehehe There are TONS of new people in the ward (seriously our ward quadrupled in size). So I always introduced myself as Annie. And they all believed me..what else would they do. But then the "goldie oldies" or "the veterans" as many call them began to rebel....that or they forgot. Then the poor new people started getting very confused and I had to explain and it just stopped working. Then I went to go visit some friends...and Apartment 4.....you know who you are......created the UPROAR.

They voted and decided Fannie/Phannie was the best name they could give me. As more joined the conversation all the frustration I received at ward prayer became anger and resentment (well not really but it makes for a better story). But really I think some people were genuinely upset and confused....although I am pretty sure most just wanted to give me a hard time.

So as of the end of the night I decided that it was too much. I had created a monster. And I really don't want to be called Fannie all year so I knew I had to stop things now. So I sent out another text revoking my first (which totally ruined my street cred).
Who knew that changing my name could create such an uproar! I mean really I just thought people would be like ok...weird but whatever...and call me Annie. Or just stick to Stephanie. But there was upsetness.....which totally harshed my mellow.

so yeah that is what happened to me tonight....
QUOTE OF THE DAY: "There is nothing wrong with your fanny."

Things You Should Know About Tuesday: The I'm Here Movement

A few weeks ago, I was able to attend a nursing conference.

One of the keynote speakers was Marcus Engel. He is an incredible and talented speaker and writer creating an interesting movement in healthcare.

He told us the story of an accident he was in, that could have cost him his life.

As he floated in and out of consciousness, he was comforted by an unknown stranger, who just sat next to him, holding his hand.
And every time he came to consciousness, she said "I'm here"

It was an astounding and inspiring story.

Ten years ago I decided to be a nurse, and continued to work towards that goal for this very story.

For the opportunity to touch a patient, a family.....

In my profession, the people we care for are in their darkest moments.
There might not be another time in their life when they are in as much pain, when they are more scared.

I went through nursing school (not the most pleasant of experiences) because I wanted to paint toe nails and hold hands.  I wanted to see miracles and see the impossible happen.
I wanted to wipe away tears and strengthen those who were weak.
I wanted to heal.



But now I'm a nurse. And its easy to forget those reasons when you get ice and coordinate tests and explain things to families and advocate for your patients with the doctors.
The bureaucracy can be not only distracting but disheartening and discouraging.
We as healthcare workers are in the business of care, but we can't care for anyone if our administrators aren't in the business of business.  We are sometimes short-staffed, we are sometimes overloaded with tasks and have to navigate procedural barriers.

And beyond that you have everyday dramas, trials, and struggles in your personal and professional life.  Not every patient experience is life-changing.  Not every patient is even grateful for the care you give them (we cut them a little slack since they are scared and sick...)  Life as a nurse can be stressful and unrewarding at times.

It can be so easy to forget where you are.

Its easy to forget to be present.

Thank goodness we get reminded sometimes, to just be there.  To be present.

To say "I'm here"

Because there are those magical moments.  Those moments when you realize why you do what you do.
Moments when being there is all you needed to be.  Moments when you realize if someone hadn't been there....terrible consequences would have ensued...and thank goodness you were blessed to be in the right place at the right time.


Mr Engel has begun a non-profit organization to encourage us as healthcare workers-and I believe everyone, to be more present.

To say to people.. "I'm here"



For more information or to get involved....

http://imheremovement.org/

Since Its Sunday: Reread Your Ensign Articles

So its no secret that...I'm a Mormon!!!!

(see side button for more info...see over there...look....ya see it???)


ANYWAY.  Each of our congregations is led by a fellow church member who is asked to volunteer their time and efforts to lead. (much like a pastor)
In a small congregation like mine (AKA a branch) we have a branch president to lead us and help us stay organized.

I'm lucky to have a pretty great one who works really hard to do his best.


A bit ago I was going through a particularly rough time (no way Stephanie isn't that all the time hahaha) and I was meeting with him regarding my church leadership assignment and he gave me some excellent advice.

For a time when he was a young married man he lived with his wife's grandfather.  This man's name was Gordon B Hinckley.  Those Mormons reading will know he was a Prophet and President of our world wide church.

One Saturday when working in the garden my BP noticed that President Hinckley looked very worn down and troubled.  After talking with him for a while about the things troubling him he said "Grandpa what do you do when things are hard and you are discouraged"

And do you know what his reply was????

"I re-read my old Ensign articles" (monthly church magazine with uplifting articles written by leaders)


It was an interesting thought.  Meant to be slightly humorous...but also to teach a valuable lesson.


When we are in the midst of terrible times it seems like life has always been like this.
Studies have shown that people who are less happy do not have less happy memories, they simply have a harder time recalling the happy memories, while happy people have an easier time recalling other happy memories.

With this in mind, re-reading your own journals and looking back on all the memories you have can bring great comfort and peace.  It can break through the clouds of negativity and shine a light down through the end of the tunnel.

As I have done it, I have found things to be grateful for.  I have found ways to help myself be happier and get through the tough times---cause they worked before, and so they will likely work now!!!

Plus with perspective I am even able to look at the difficult times and see the hand of the Lord in my life, blessing me and helping me.


So re-read your old Ensign articles everyone!!!!!!
It might just help ya out :)

Its a Life Makeover

So I am reading this book.....

Its called the Happiness Project.

Wait....lets start from the beginning.

I won't lie and say my life hasn't been lacking bumps lately.
I'm far from depressed....just unhappy.
Unable to truly appreciate the ordinary days.

And I don't like it!  Its no way to live.
So I decided I needed a change.

So I've talked previously about Mara from A Blog About Love.  She has an incredible method for happiness.
But its a hard one. Its about letting go of needs.  But I've given it a shot..and its hard.
I'm not giving up on Mara's plan.
I'm just trying to be realistic about myself.
I can't at this moment.


I'm a list person.  A goal setting person (not always a goal achieving person but I'm GREAT at making them)

So I've started working on a different method.  A systematic approach to happiness.

Taking small bites.  Every months doing something new to make me happy.
External actions that will cause internal change.

And then...I'll be happy.  And then I can work on the contentment and inner peace part.

Very much looking forward to it.

We are going to reframe, we are going to change.
Redo it all.
A Life Makeover.

My own Happiness Project

How This is All Going to Work.....

So I am trying to turn over a new leaf.

AGAIN I know right?????

I feel like for the past 6 months I am saying that to everyone.
I'm gonna change, things are going to be so different.

New habits, new patterns, breaking hold habits, leaving old patterns.


But I've failed....miserably is likely a dramatic overstatement.

But definitely failed.

So I'm starting a process.....yes again.

But this time I am trying to be smart about it.


Lemme tell you something about myself.  I like completeness.
I HATE more than anything when things are unfinished.
Examples you ask?
     Last month it was buying an entire apartment of furniture in one day so that when I moved in-my home would be complete.
     This month it is getting rid of EVERY piece of clothing I own to get and ENTIRELY new wardrobe.


So I figuratively (and occasionally literally) go for broke.  I try to do it all at once to get it done.

And do you know what usually happens?
I end up realizing I DON'T HAVE MONEY FOR THIS!!!!
Or energy, or time, or skill etc etc etc.

So usually what ends up happening is I just shut down and give up.
And nothing gets done!!!

YIKES!!!!!

So we are going to take a new approach.

We are going to try it one at a time.

We are going to go on a journey.
We are going to take it one day at a time.

Its gonna be different than previous gos.

Its gonna be honest...Its gonna be genuine.
(don't read whiny..just actually real)


You ready?  I most certainly AM!!!!!

Throw Back Thursday: Lost:Sept 2011

So I really REALLY want to get back into blogging again (sorry for the intensely long vacation...explanations forthcoming).

But its been hard starting back up again.  I'm out of the habit, not sure what to write about...

I've been writing for about 4 years now....and I've had some decent posts.....
Many that I suspect have been forgotten.

And now there is this whole #tbt and I have a TOTAL excuse to be lazy and resurrect old blog posts!

Plus a date I went on earlier this week reminded me of this one (This weeks' date was not similar...just saying)

And so...without further ado......

(from the days when I ran a lyrics blog....365 days, a song for each day)

Sept 9 2011
Lost         Micheal Buble

Ok so this song has really nothing to do with today...other than the title.  And I like the song so.....ready for the story!  ITS A DOOZIE

Tonight I went on a date with a guy I know from church.  He's a very sweet boy.  He wanted to show me a place called Devil's Ice Box (a cave here in Columbia).  Apparently it is a place you have to see if you are living in Columbia.  So we went to go see it and hike around the park it is in.

As we were going along we stopped for a break and he literally pulled out wine glasses and sparkling cider.  Yes my friends...we apparently fast forwarded to the proposal part of our relationship ;)

We chatted for a while just about random things.  And then started to head back to the car.  And this is when the wheels came off the wagon.  There was another trail that apparently lead to a sink hole we thought might be interesting to check out.  So we followed it.  And kept following it.  And kept following it.  We started on a "green" trail, and suddenly found ourselves on the yellow trail.  But of course....we had started on this second trail around 7 PM.  So we were now racing against time hoping to be able to get out of the interesting predicament we were in.

As we kept walking it kept getting darker.  We were so turned around and lost it wasn't even funny.  This poor kid kept turning to me thinking that some how I was the more spiritual of the two of us and would get a sudden prompting leading us down the right path.
Like I had any idea.  I might have been praying the entire time to get out of there...but I don't know if

"Oh my gosh I am stuck in the woods in the dark with a kinda weird guy and I am likely going to DIE...PLEASE GET ME OUT OF HERE" 

is really the best method of getting spiritual guidance.

Oh and did I mention it started to rain... cause it did.  And it got MUCH colder once the sun went down.

I've gotta say my favorite part of the night was when he suggested we start singing hymns.  Not sure if the purpose was for comfort or bringing the Spirit.  I mean I love singing..and love hymns...and I know we were lost...but still on a DATE!  Lets not sing...lets focus on getting out of this FREAKING FOREST!!!!!

I wanted to call 911 but he seemed to be protesting and not wanting to call.  I think it was a pride thing.  He wanted to get us out himself I guess.  MEN!  (insert serious eye roll here)
So I called my family hoping they could look up a map or give us a number for the park ranger who could point us in the direction of the parking lot.  They couldn't really help us out.  And by this point it was about 8:15 and seriously dark.  He tried his family.  But they preferred to make fun of us in our woe and couldn't help either.

Suddenly we saw a light...a light that looked like a street lamp.  So we starting going for it as fast as we could.  Then we realized there was a fence and a HUGE field between us and the light.  (Yeah we later found out we had make it to the WHOLE OTHER END OF THE PARK!!!!)

At this point I had had enough.  I didn't care if I wounded his pride.  I was NOT going to be stuck in these woods for another minute.  I was tired..and hungry...kinda thirsty..I had a blister (found a few more later tonight)...and I will be honest...I HAD TO PEE!!!  And there was NO WAY I was going off into the unknown woods...ON A DATE...even a bad date!!!!

And so I called 911 and talked to a very nice operator who was very understanding and kind.  I described as best I could where we were and how everything had happened.  And assured them at least 20 times we were ok.  Not too cold, not wet, not injured, not starving or dehydrated (not that this info was completely true...but I was on a date...so I had to be positive!)
Then they triangulated my signal (THANK YOU VERIZON!!!!!) And we stayed on the line roughly 45 minutes until the search and rescue party (which was already there for another lost group) came to get us.

They helped us hop the fence and then we walked across the field to their truck.  They then drove us about 10 MINUTES back to the parking lot where the car was.  But thankfully were rescued.

As we pulling into the parking lot, we were greeted by a fire truck, ambulance and several police cars, plus the park rangers.  HOLY COW!!!!  We got bombarded with questions amongst flashing lights.  I felt like I was at a crime scene.  But after getting all our information for their reports we were able to head out.

The guy I was with asked me if I wanted to get dinner.  And call me rude...but I told him "I think I need to get home"  It was 9:30 and we had left my apartment at 5:30.  And first dates should not be marathons!

I felt bad....because of all the people to get stuck in the woods with..he was better than most.
He is a perfect gentleman and did not take advantage of the situation like some guys might have.  And he remained upbeat and cheerful instead of cranky.  And he wasn't an obnoxious person to be around.
And he felt SOOOOO bad!  The poor guy was not planning on that being the way the night would go.  But it was certainly a memory.

(Of course I took a picture.....But to protect the innocent...I edited it a bit)

And in the tradition of the My Lyrical Life blog....
The song...............................

TBT:

Day 317 Mean

Oct 4 2011
Mean                 Taylor Swift

I have been waiting to use this song for like FOREVER!  Its so awesome, but no one has really qualified yet.  Till today.
I have not liked my clinical instructor for several weeks.  I have tried to be open minded and tried to be understanding.
But I have had enough.  I understand pushing.  But this is just being MEAN!  Inconsiderate and rude.
I have worked hard to get to where I am and I don't appreciate being treated like a complete idiot.
I am a human being not the scum between your toes.  You think we are going to learn when you belittle and abuse us?
If you give me expectations I have something to work for, but if you don't tell me what I need to do...how can I do it??  Sorry I can't read your mind.  Unfortunately divination was not a prerequisite for this program.

Someday I am going to be working as a nurse and I am going to be good at it.
I'm going to prove you wrong!

You, with your words like knives and swords and weapons that you use against me

You have knocked me off my feet again got me feeling like I'm nothing

You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard, calling me out when I'm wounded

You, pickin' on the weaker man

Well, you can take me down with just one single blow

But you don't know what you don't know

Someday I'll be living in a big old city

And all you're ever gonna be is mean

Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me

And all you're ever gonna be is mean

Why you gotta be so mean?

You, with your switching sides and your walk-by lies and your humiliation

You, have pointed out my flaws again as if I don't already see them

I'll walk with my head down trying to block you out 'cause I'll never impress you

I just wanna feel okay again

I'll bet you got pushed around, somebody made you cold

But the cycle ends right now 'cause you can't lead me down that road

And you don't know what you don't know

Someday I'll be living in a big old city

And all you're ever gonna be is mean

Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me

And all you're ever gonna be is mean

Why you gotta be so mean?

And I can see you years from now in a bar, talking over a football game

With that same big loud opinion but nobody's listening

Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things

Drunk and grumbling on about how I can't sing

But all you are is mean

All you are is mean and a liar and pathetic and alone in life

And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean

But someday I'll be living in a big old city

And all you're ever gonna be is mean, yeah

Someday, I'll be big enough so you can't hit me

And all you're ever gonna be is mean

Why you gotta be so mean?

Someday, I'll be, living in a big old city

(Why you gotta be so mean?)

And all you're ever gonna be is mean

(Why you gotta be so mean?)

Someday, I'll be big enough so you can't hit me

(Why you gotta be so mean?)

And all you're ever gonna be is mean

Why you gotta be so mean?