Dear One Specific Boy

So this is probably a terribly ill-advised post, but I am pretty sure this boy doesn't read my blog-nor does anyone who really knows him.  Except one person-and she knows who she is wink wink

So hopefully this doesn't end badly for me... AWKWARD!!!!


dear boy i can't decide if i am worried about

so whenever it is just you and me, you are yourself.  at least i think you are yourself.  i don't know you that well, but i'm pretty sure that is who you really are.
but every time a certain group of people come around-you totally change.  you become kinda withdrawn and a follower.  still cool, but just not the fun, open guy i know.  its not a bad version of you-i just feel like you aren't you.

but there is another possibility.  you are in a really rough place-and need a friend or something. leading to well, your odd and different behavior recently.

and so cue the worry.

i mean if you are just not yourself around everyone cause you are shy...or whatever..thats not grand, but lets be real-few of us are totally ourselves around certain people.  and yeah i don't love that if it is the case, because this "yourself" also doesn't really talk to me (epic bummer).  but whatever-its fine

but if you need someone to talk talk to, or a friend or something-i'm here.  and i think you know that.  but problem is you are "mister too cool for school"-the ULTIMATE guy's guy-not really the bear my feelings type of guy...and i am pretty sure even my powerful powers won't crack you.

and so i worry.
but i guess i will just have to get over it and tell my worrisome mind to shut up!

love
a girl who worries too much.
and who cares about you...if you would just let me


Check out Elise!!!
and Be Happy and Be Healthy!!!!

"Love" and Love..Trust Me There is a Difference!

So I talk about dating and guys and girls and all that, but I never really talk about love.

And I think it is because I have only been in love once.


I have however been infatuated-many a time.
And I have watched even more of my friends be infatuated themselves.


It looks something like this

Seen it before?  I have!!!  And I saw it tonight-hence this post.

And so often this "love" is the worst kind.

Unrequited.

Yes ladies and germs the terrible "I like him but he doesn't like me"

And it totally sucks doesn't it??

And so..."love" sucks!!!!

And I know what you are all thinking-"Uh oh the big haired blonde bitter version of this gal has come out again"  

But its ok...cause love-that doesn't suck.

But "love" that sucks.

But how often do we find love?

More often we find "love".

And "love" is only good in movies.

In movies the guy always likes the girl back.

And so to the girl I saw tonight in unrequited "love"

Sorry dear.  Wish we were in a movie.....oh honey do I ever wish we were in a movie.

Cause in the real world....in order to find love...you have to find some "love" first.

And that is a rough process.

I realize this whole thing is random.  And likely uninteresting.  But oh well.  Its late and well....I wanted to think out loud for a bit.

Be Happy and Be Healthy everyone.

Friday Confession Time

So we all know that inside this calm brunette city girl is a cranky big-haired blonde country singer.

And she has been breaking out a lot more than usual lately.

Now a little over a year ago I made a New Years Resolution.....
to be lovely

But my inner Carrie/Miranda/Taylor/Kellie is not very lovely.
She is kinda cranky and angry and bitter.
Not very lovely qualities!

So that is my confession-I have not been very lovely lately.
Whoops!

Gonna have to work on that.

But hey-what's life without something to work on???



Also confession...I have recently become a fan of
THIS SONG:

Girl power-without putting anyone down????  YES PLEASE!!!!!

So be lovely everyone!


And Be Happy and Be Healthy

The Waiting Game

The other day me and a friend were discussing the "waiting game" that is being a young single adult in the Mormon world.

For those who don't know much about the culture of our religion (which is merely based on and related to our beliefs and doctrines-just saying), there is a lot of pressure to become successful in this time of life.  And getting to the "perfect" possible situation.

School, work, and most of all--LOVE.

But a lot of this "perfection" takes waiting.
 
You can't just marry anyone who comes along
(ok so you could...but PLEASE DON'T!!!).

And you can't graduate in a day
(not even if you are a smarty-pants).

Or get a promotion after only working somewhere for 2 weeks
(even if your boss totally loves you).

Its just not how the world works.
And maybe there is just as much waiting later in life.
But for now I'm in this spot.  And I am soooo tired of waiting for "real life" to start.

Now I know there is someone reading this who is saying "Real life is happening all around you if you just paid attention!"

And true---real life is happening right here, right now.  But I'm living at home, working a starter job.  So MY real life---hasn't started yet.


And its kinda a bummer.  We can do all we want to in attempts to make this time worthwhile, but nothing seems to do the trick.

I volunteer, both with my church as well as (possibly) a crisis nursery.  I work hard at my job, trying to learn everything I can and grow as much as I can.  I have hobbies I am working on.  I've started reading (for fun!) again.  I'm taking up yoga (this one is hard-cause I am super un-flexible ).  I'm paying off student loans and creating a small (emphasis on small) savings account.  Plus I'm working towards some pretty significant spiritual goals.

I think I'm doing a decent job of not wasting this time. At least I'm trying to!
So then why does this time still feel un-fulfilling and like I am just sitting around bidding my time??

I don't know-maybe its just cause its so late.  I always wax poetically pensive this late.

I should stop writing-since its now 1 AM and work can officially no longer call me in (WOOT WOOT!)

So I leave you with my FAVORITE waiting song.
(think of the person more as a future life--and you will be much less disappointed by my liking such a cheesy song!)


Also this version is SOOOOO much better than the radio version.  Like seriously people who jumped on the "Have you heard Jason Mraz's new song" bandwagon....the rest of us had been listening to this version for months!!!!!!


So enjoy-And I guess make the most of it.  Even if this waiting game is still an EPIC bummer!

Be Happy Be Healthy!!!!!!

Regrets

People say you should live life with no regrets.

HAA

Easier said than done!

Is there anyone in the world who is actually successful in this effort???

And if they do HOW HOW HOW?????????????


About a week ago, I agreed to pick up 1 extra shift a week for the next four weeks (well now three) for a CRAZY incentive.

The money was enticing...and I thought I wouldn't be missing much.

But the longer time goes along-the more things I miss.

Bonfires, game nights.....I mean there will always be other fun things.

And lets be real-the majority of the things I am missing are on days that are not my extra shifts.
So I guess I'm not really regretting the extra shifts which mean the extra MOOLAH.

I guess I'n just regretting this job???

Baby Sister is 16 today.......

Making me feel all sorts of old!!!!!

Why Is It Such A Big Deal???

May I ask a question?

When did going on a first date become such a big deal????

I'll admit I've been super pumped/psyched/moderately stressed when the first date was with someone I had a high level of interest in (see explanation HERE)

But as a general rule, a first date is just that.  A first date.  Someone you know-who you want to get to know better.  At that point you are just acquaintances.

Now may I throw in another twist??

The phenomenon that is LDS singles congregations.  They are like rumor mills on STEROIDS!!!

So many who are part of these bad social experiments (tehehe) choose to keep first dates a secret.

And so I ask again.

Why is it such a big deal????

Who cares if the WHOLE ward is talking about how you went on a date with Susy?

The only thing they are truly saying is that Susy and Bob went on an excursion in an effort to have fun and become better friends.

Now whether or not is going to lead to romantic connections is really no one's business-I'll concede that point.

But why do we have to keep our activities a secret?  If I go out with my girl friend and someone asks me what I did and who I was with, I have no problem telling them.
And I feel the same way if the news I would be sharing involved a date.

Honestly this secrecy just breeds seriousness.  The lies and the avoidance just makes it a bigger deal than it has to be.

I guess I'm just on a simplify/honesty kick lately.

Lets keep things simple.  Lets just be mature and honest.  Lets just not make it a big deal!!!!!



Thats all----go forth and be chill :)


Be Happy Be Healthy!

Mature Adult Conversations

Alright-so you might get a little nervous with this title.

Yikes-what is this girl gonna talk about now????


Don't worry-this is going to remain G-rated.


So once upon a time (ok I admit it...once upon several times) I had this guy I kinda liked.  Alright lets be straight up...I really liked him.
And at the same time as I liked him, we developed a friendship.

(note to self-I need to stop developing crushes on my friends-it always ends...well not so well)


And being me-when it seemed like he didn't like me-I applied the good ol' "He's Just Not That Into Me" principle and stopped making any effort in our relationship (term used in general and broad manner).

Then friendships fizzled and sadness and depression ensued ;)

So I tell you all this as a cautionary tale.

Because I have grown a little (and by a little I mean microscopic growth!) since many of those "incidents"
And I have figured out how to do it best....mostly thanks to some great advice from a great friend

The conversation went something like this (minimal artistic license taken at some moments, as we are not always SUPA eloquent when speaking!!!).

"I miss him!  He's totally disappeared, and I miss my friend"
"Have you talked to him about it?"
"I probably should"
"Yes you should-you need to have a mature adult conversation about how you feel and what you need and what you want"


Oh people if only we followed this advice and more conversations like this!!!!!
Wouldn't our lives be much less complicated?????

I know-easier said than done-but try!!!

Put on some new shoes and turn over a new leaf.  Be strong and confident--adult and mature!!!!

Its refreshing-trust me!!!!

Enjoy some chipper music and......

Be Happy Be Healthy!!!!!

Confession!!!!!

Alright people.....
we all now I have a weak spot for boy bands.

OneDirection, the Jonas Brothers, Backstreet Boys......................


And then this morning......this song was on as I was driving home....

And yes I was rockin out!!!

Mainly cause it sounds like an old school 90s boy band throwback.
Plus-Flo Rida rocks!!!



Enjoy your Saturday and this song!

Be Happy Be Healthy

High Five for Friday

A good friend encouraged me to read the blog of a sister of one of my FAVE bloggers.

AKA....Kate from the Small Things Blog (the girl who does my hair online!)
AND  her sister Lauren from From My Grey Desk (who I am about to get dangerously obsessed with!)

Love em!!!!

Anyway Lauren does High Five Fridays...so I thought I would join up for the day!

So here are 5 cool things from my week!




1. MONEY SHIFT!!!!!  Thursday I picked up an extra shift for 3x my normal hourly pay.  FOR REALS peeps...  Its great but when the 4 weeks of this is over I'm likely going to want to kill anything living in my path....but...hey MONEY MONEY MONEY!!!!!

2. Date with a person new to my circle tomorrow.  Should be fun-cause we all know how I love adding people to my circle!

3. The weather is getting warmer.  It might not stay warmer....but it still is warmer.  And that means spring is coming.  ITS COMING ITS COMING!!!!!!!!!!

4. The Easter Bunny is hopping around my branch.  AND I LOVE IT!!!!!!!  Doorbell ditching candy filled eggs???  How sweet is that????

5. I tried on my new work uniform.  All black is NOT cool. But I do like the style.  And let me just say-whatever material these new scrubs are made of--feels SUPA nice and soft :)









 

Theme Song Thursday

Alright Peeps!

I NEED TO GET OUT!!!!!

I need to wear my modestly short skirt, my ankle breaking heels!!!!
A night out on the town, livin it UP!


But instead...I sit around and the phone doesn't ring.
And so I work

Its nice for the extra money.
But its super boring!


No offense to the over-50 crowd I hang out with at the hospital.
But really....you aren't very cool.
Sorry....................................



And so today I'm singing this song.
Cause dude(s)...you are totally missin' out.
And if you don't get "here" soon....I'm gonna stop wasting the pretty!

"I've gotta dress that'll show a little uh-uh

But you ain't gettin any uh-uh if you don't come pick me up!"

"Its not like you got any place better to be!"

(Seriously I think inside I'm a big haired blonde cranky country singer bahahahahahaha)

Be Happy Be Healthy everyone.

And go out......

for me.....

and then tell me about it so I can live vicariously!!!!!!!!!!

Just A Song or Two

Lets be real.  Songwriters have always said things better than me.  Always.
Even if they are un-hipster Pop Stars  ;)

Happy Wednesday Everyone!


dear tractor guy




YEP YEP...you said it Demi!
love
city girl


 dear felon

 


SING IT Taylor!
love a girl who should have probably known better


 dear bell boy

 


alright so this one doesn't really work. but it is funny...you've gotta give me that!
love
a girl excited for Saturday's fun

LIEBSTER!!!!!!! AND a VLOG!!!!!!!!!!!

Huge thanks to Big Sister who nominated me for a Liebster Award!!!!

(see her blog HERE!)


There are a lot of 11s in the instructions for this. And though it would be SUPA fun...I don't have that kinda time/energy #nightshiftproblems

So I'm amending it a bit.....sorry to stop the fun with me...but pretty sure everyone I would nominate has been nominated so.......

BUT...I'm gonna add a fun twist-aka VLOG!!!!!


Its been forever since I've done one of these so...thought it might be fun!!!

Be Happy Be Healthy!!!!

I Feel So Domestic!

My goodness people...I'm like a regular old Mormon Mom today!

I started my day cleaning the bathrooms at the church building (each congregation takes a turn and my congregation is too small to really get the whole building-so we take turns doing the bathrooms!)

ps.....nurses should not be allowed to clean public bathrooms.  SERIOUSLY people....I used enough disinfectant to kill a large animal....let alone the little germies crawling everywhere.....
Those doorknobs and light switches have NEVER been so clean!
pps.....may or may not have gotten high from the large amount of cleaning chemicals I used......

Then I went to the grocery store.  On a Saturday-generally ill-advised (can we say crowded???)-but it turned out alright.  I only had to stare absent-mindedly at the trashy magazines for a few minutes in the check-out line.

THEN I made a cheesy garlic bread, cinnamon roll-style for the potluck dinner after church tomorrow!   (well I'm kinda still doing that-they are in the oven)
I think they will turn out very well.  They smell good at least!
YEAH for actually using Pinterest recipes!!!!!!

ALSO my lifetime goal has now become to make something that uses flour WITHOUT getting it ALL OVER myself and the kitchen!!!


Next up is getting real dressed (cleaning, grocery shopping and baking with flour do not require real clothes....sweatshirt/t-shirt and nasty jeans will suffice...judge away What Not To Wear!)
Cause I'm headed out tonight to hang out with the gals!
Who needs boys to ask you out on dates anyway?  We will just take ourselves out!!!!!  ;)

And then once I am all cute-I'm gonna make dinner for me and the 'rents.  Baby Sister is out of town for the weekend-so we get to eat like grown-ups instead of picky teenagers!
So another Pinterest recipe for us!!!
Nothing fancy-just a little Garlic Chicken with Broccoli.
I'll let you know how it turns out!!!!

I better be careful!  Too much domesticity and I might just become the type of girl guys will want to marry.

YIKES!!!  I better CUT THIS OUT!!!


Happy Saturday!

Be Happy Be Healthy

Again I'm Lazy

Usually I'm not an angry bitter girl.
But I'll be honest.
Sometimes a good sassy "girls are better than boys" song is just what the doctor ordered.
Not because you necessarily feel that way...but because its just fun to sing about shooting boys at the top of your lungs while driving into work.

Enjoy!